I find it so hard to talk about my mental health, embarrassing even. I am 20 I have suffered for over 6 years, undiagnosed, with depression and anxiety. Probably even more years with anxiety, almost as far back as I can remember. It is extremely crippling, I self harmed for years, I have been clean for awhile but the only reason is my boyfriend. We have been together for 3 years, and when he found out about my self harm it freaked him out, so I stopped so I did not loose him. I have relapsed multiple times and think about it everyday, but I am trying so hard to remain clean. My boyfriend is/was supportive of my mental health. The reason I say "was" is because recently it feels like i am annoying him by talking about it, so I don't. My parents do not believe in depression/anxiety, they think if you get help then the government will put you on "a list". It is crazy, I know. My college offers some free counseling sessions, and I want to go but I just can't make the appointment. Every time I go to make it I just see everyone being disappointed in me, judging me. I am getting anxious just making this post, I wish I could go into more detail about my symptoms but I just need baby steps. I guess I am just wanting opinions on what to do or where to go from here. Thank you in advance.