Tired of Anxiety and feeling Guilty..

[PotterBook1]

Hello all... I've been suffering from anxiety for practically all my life, but it all came to a head this past September. Did something I felt was wrong, and confessed it to the person I thought I wronged, and (although they didn't feel I did anything wrong) they forgave me. Well, I couldn't forgive myself. Turned into a horrid episode of anxiety attacks and rumination, that lead me to a psychiatrist who diagnosed GAD, SAD, Depression and OCD. I first started Prozac which was AWFUL. Caused all kinds of disturbing images and thoughts in my head, so doc stopped it. Now I am on Effexor XR, which was helping, until my doctor recently increased me from 112.5 (which was helping the best but there was room for improvement) to 150.. which followed anxiety, and my guilt/depression/anxiety came back in a rush! After trying the 150 for over a week, and getting worse instead of better, she took me back down to 112.5, where I am now for 2 days.

Now I'm scared that the med won't help, I'm anxious practically all the time, I started my Ativan again, which I was off of for almost 3 weeks while on the 112.5 dose... and the worst part, my Guilt is back in FULL swing.

Anyone have advise on the medication? What else I can do? I'm seen a counselor and learned CBT, so I know that this guilt is from distorted thinking and reasoning... but I can't seem to get it out of my head and I'm afraid it will drown me.

[gogogirl]

Hey, been there with guilt. I know we are all different, but sometimes exercise helps a little.

[b1b1b1]

If you tell us what you did that makes you feel so guilty it may help you to get it off your chest and it may also enable other readers to give you some advice and thoughts.

[Not_your_victim]

Ah, guilt, a long time companion of mine. I recently spent nearly two hours with my therapist defining my guilt, where it come from, and what I want instead.

I’m well versed in CBT, but I am learning that it is not a helpful tool for me when it comes to guilt- otherwise it feels as though my brain is just arguing with itself as I try to challenge the cognitive distortions.

Medication is such a problem. I hear you on that. For me- it either causes more problems, or conversely it minimally mitigates my anxiety symptoms.

[b1b1b1]

You seem very reluctant to say what you feel guilty about. That is OK. Perhaps in time you will be able to talk about it. I have a funny feeling that you feel more guilty than you need to about whatever it is, especially since your friend "forgave" you. Nobody is perfect and I am sure everyone has done things at one time or another that they are not proud of.

[Pris1980]

Guilt it some thing i am very familiar with !! I have learned to give myself what i am seeking from the outside. If you are looking for forgiveness from this other person and they don't give u exactly what u want, it's ok! Learn to give that forgiveness to yourself, you deserve it!! We can't always look to other or the outside world to validate out feelings bc our views may be different. Just know that it's ok to have different perspectives and thoughts, not everyone will agree. Try not to judge your feelings instead learn to validate them and be kind to yourself. Remember most people are busy with their lives and don't put as much thought into a situation as one of us might. So you have to learn to let go and be ok with their response. Most people don't understand anxiety so we have to be understanding that they just dont get it. It's not their fault, they usually don't intend to make us feel less than...we do that to ourselves by filling in the blanks with negative self talk. Remind yourself it's not real...its not true.