Paranoia

[meme68]

Has anyone else dealt with paranoia with the GAD? Mine has been really bad in the last 24 hours. My ex left me 15 years ago at Christmas and since I have met a great guy, was with him 10 years and then got married and we’ve been married almost 4 years. My first husband was a cheater and abuser and it seems the longer I’m with my new husband the more I wait for him to cheat or leave. Yesterday he was out with a few of the guys and the longer he was out the more paranoid I became. It’s didn’t help he wouldn’t answer my phone calls and texts and that we had plans he blew off which he has apologized for more than once since coming home. It triggered every feeling I had 15 years ago when my ex did the same thing (ignore me) and left me for someone else. I hate feeling like this and questioning and doubting someone who has never given me a reason to. This morning I feel

like everything in the world is wrong and I don’t even want to function or go to work or get out of bed....but I have to...has anyone else had their past affect them like this? Or had it get worse rather than better? It’s like the longer we’re together the more I wait for him to leave rather than know the longer we’re together the better it is. Does anyone understand what I’m going through???

[ProBSD]

Yes, I do. My wife of 24 years had taken some provocative photos of herself on her phone and I found them on our phone backup cloud. I confronted her and she said she had taken them for me and was going to send them to me but got embarrassed and just deleted them. But this caused my depression and anxiety to go into over-drive and I feel into the bottom of the pit. This was the same day I was diagnosed with severe depression & anxiety. At this point I became very suspicious of everything and just kept spiraling down. The issue is, she would never have the time to cheat on me and when I looked at the facts, i knew it wasn't possible but in my mind it was a fact that she was. I work in IT so I dug into her search history and found english to spanish translations that were very foul so I even went so far as to accuse her of cheating on me. She left me that night but did come back a couple days later. She does not understand the depression so it is very hard for her to sympathize. Anyway, after 3 weeks of being on meds the bad feelings are going away but right now even little things can bring them back temporarily. Bottom line, if he hasn't done anything to cause this mistrust issue it could very much be the depression playing with your mind. A night out with the guys might be just that, a night out with the guys.

[meme68 in reply to ProBSD]

Thank you. You have made me feel so much better. It is so nice to just not feel alone with these kinds of feelings. I do have mild depression. I cannot wait to see a psychiatrist so that I can start a daily med that may help take these awful thoughts away. And my counselor and I will begin cognitive behavioral therapy next month. I pray it works and helps....I would have done and have done the same thing you did. I hate accusing my husband of something like that because I honestly know in my heart he wouldn’t do that. His last marriage ended the same way mine did, with cheating and more of a mental and emotional abuse. This paranoia thing really can take a toll on ones emotions....

[ProBSD in reply to meme68]

I completely understand. I wish you all the luck and hope the doctor help help you soon.

[meme68 in reply to ProBSD]

I don’t see the psychiatrist til February. So for now it’s me and my counselor. My husband I talked last night and he for the first time ever I think he is understanding where I am in all this horrible anxiety. It’s still nice to have someone understand because they have felt it tho. Thank you!!

[Agora1 in reply to ProBSD]

Hi ProBSD, are you two back together If so, I wish you well. Anxiety and depression are difficult issues for others to understand no matter how close we are to them. Friends may leave but losing a spouse after 24 years is worth fighting for. I'm glad to hear you are now on medication. I'm hoping you include therapy along with it and that your wife becomes involved with you going forward. Good Luck my friend.

[Sprinkle1]

Hi, I had two cheating husbands, caught the 2nd one in bed with other woman. I took him back which was very difficult. But eventually he left me again, that was the 3rd time, so I filed for a divorce.Ten years later I met a hard working honest man, and married him. Big mistake, he had a temper and I thought twice he was going to kill me. We went to therapy but he just turned it against me (same thing happened with 2nd husband). So that marriage ended after 2 years. Now I do not date. But it does not mean there aren't good men out there. And if he was out with his buddy's having a beer or two, they tend to loose track of time. I would suggest you talk to your therapist about this fear you have, and even get your husband to go with you once or twice, that will help him understand you, and vise versa. With the right therapist great things happen.Give it a try you deserve to be happy, he need to be free of your fear. You both need to enjoy your marriage. I send you good wish, get those useless thoughts out of your head and enjoy yourself. I send you free from fear, love, peace and happiness. Sprinkle 1