Missing Her

[Bookiet]

it has been a year and a half and I still miss her like it was yesterday. I wish I could have told her that she was the love of my life before it was too late, but now I never will. It hurts so much. I would give anything for just one more day with her, just one more chance to tell her that I love her. I never got to say good bye before she was sleeping forever. I want to wrap my arms around her and jut hold her but instead I get to wrap my arms around her little girl and tell her that I don't know why it had to be her mommy. Trying to be strong for everyone else is slowly killing me and I am so tired.

[Windy101]

Oh my. I'm very sorry. Are you getting some counseling or going to a grief group? That is such a lot to deal with.

[Bookiet in reply to Windy101]

Unfortunately, with everything that I have going on in my life, counseling will not fit in anywhere. I am so busy that most days sleep isn't even an option.

[X01WOOG]

Bookiet, I am so sorry for your loss. I know it is overwhelming to lose a loved one. I didn't lose a spouse through death but I did lose one through his falling for other women. Eventually leaving me while pregnant, then marrying another and having a baby three months after our baby boy was stillborn. Three years ago, I lost my adult son to cancer. Last year I lost my adult daughter to cancer. Yes, I miss my children. I have cried so many tears over the losses I have endured. I do know that my God in Heaven gave his only son because He loves us! You are loved! You are never alone--He is a prayer away. Teach your little one--her mommy is in Heaven and someday she will be with her again. There are no tears in Heaven! Thank God you will all be united some day. It would be so helpful for your daughter to go to Sunday School and Children's Church if she is old enough. It would be so very helpful for you to reach out to people who show God's love. Just remember, He is with you! Blessings!

[Bookiet in reply to X01WOOG]

Your reply made me realize that I was not very clear in my post. The person I lost was not my spouse, she was my best friend. She did not know how I felt about her beyond being my best friend and she never will. Her little girl is my little girls best friend and she is with me every chance she gets. She lives with her father who only wants her for the death benefits. She wants to be with me but her father won't let her. I kills me to see just how very sad she is and when she calls me crying I'm never sure what to say to make her feel better because I am still hurting so much.

[Windy101]

We all experience grief differently and all I can share is my own experience. Grief is by far the most painful time I've known. The best advice I got was, "Breathe" and to try to stay in the moment and focus on my surroundings. Breathe and do just the day in front of me. It didn't take away my pain, but it made it a little easier to bear. Time, for me, proved to be the cliche of the great healer.

[mysmugcat]

You would be surprised what people knew and feel. Actions can speak louder than words So many people have regrets over something they have or have not said or done before someone dies, I know.