Everyone hates me because of my depression

[Against_the_current]

I couldn't sleep all night, fell asleep at 8am, woke up to my landlord wanting the bills, fell asleep again, woke at 3:30pm and had to have therapy at 4am. Rushed to there without eating or taking meds, just putted on clothes and caught a bus. Then exercised a bit and while i was exercising my friend called having a mental breakdown and I rushed to her's. But i took the wrong bus. Got a new bus. Stayed with her but she said i don't help cause im even more depressed and haven't eaten all day (when?!) . Called her boyfriend, made me feel like a miserable single unloved third wheel. Got home feeling like shit. Grandma has messaged me all day and i didn't respond (when?!) and asked if im okay. I paniced sth happened with alcoholic mom and called her to ask, she scolded me, felt worse. Wondering whether to go to university tomorrow because probably that ex-friend that told me im an annoying loser and she doesn't want me to her NYE party because i talk about my depression , might be there and everyone is at her side and all the rest of friends. I feel so unloved and rejected. My ego is crushed. Everyone stops being my friend because of my ptsd which i got because of my parents. Meanwhile i rush to listen to them. But im the bad guy

[SoporRose]

Depression can catch us between a rock and hard place. On one hand, we need to talk about and get support through our pain, but that's often more than other people can handle. But we can't get better without it. People who understand depression or ptsd because they have it, too, are usually too tapped out to help. And when we try to break out of our mental illness, the people who know us mirror back the person they expect us to be.

I hope you choose/chose to go to uni. You have been so successful at school; please don't let others keep you from classes, especially now that you are so close to finishing! Keep up your excellent work — it will be your ticket out of where you are now.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Yeah. Normal people don't understand and think im too much, people with mental illness understand but are already trapped in their illnesses. I went. I was so depressed i did nothing, im worried how i will force myself to finish and chose masters and a job. I fell asleep after class and wake up now, at midnight

[RMHiker]

I know what you mean. It's hard to find a good friend who understands and is willing to listen. That's why we need a therapist to talk to weekly! I've promised God that when I'm out of this, I will always try to help anyone I come across that is suffering with anxiety or depression. Be the friend to them I wish I had!

[Against_the_current in reply to RMHiker]

Same. I understand this so i always tell people they're safe with me and i will listen. I was to my therapist yesterday but still i need more than 40 minutes

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

Yeah. It often takes about forty minutes just to get settled in and get one's thoughts organized and then — time's up! But I am grateful for my therapist. She has kept me going for over twenty years now.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Here therapists are terrible

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

I think a lot are terrible here, too, and I know people who don't already have a therapist are having great difficulty finding psychological counselors. Mine wants to retire, but she doesn't know how to help her patients find new care, so she keeps hanging on. I don't know what I'll do when she does finally allow herself to retire.

[Good_for_us]

I’m sorry you are going through those relationship issues along with your own depression. You seem like a very caring friend. Hoping your ptsd/depression therapy will help you practice self-care and develop good boundaries and feelings of self-worth, as you deserve it.

[Against_the_current in reply to Good_for_us]

Thank you. So on point