Where to start I've suffered from spells of depression since a teenager when I was bullied quite a bit and went through a suicidal time. My parents got me help and I got through it.
Over the last 10 months ive gotten into a new relationship who I thought was the love of my life and the feeling was mutual.
Over the last 3-4 months the depression has hit hard and when I think about why I've no idea, a few friendships broke down which obviously effected me and had arguments with my partner usually over something or nothing when drunk and then the dark times would hit, I've tried to commit suicide three times but it's not that I want to die I'm trying to get attention from my partner as I've not been able to open up about it. Wrong I know but I just wanted the pain to stop.
He's tried his hardest to stay but says I need to get help, in one breath it's breaking his heart the next he's being nasty calling me selfish to want to do this to him, my family and friends. I'm getting help now talking to a therapist but it's killing me him not being here to help me through. The one person I thought I could count on for anything has just left me when I need him the most, why??
I know he's hurting and maybe hasn't got an idea how to deal with it, is it normal for people to shut you out at times like this?
I've got a friend who I've spoken to about everything and she's helping me day by day. But I feel like I'm burdening her and I'm so up and down and crying all the time I just need my partner back.
Any advice right now would be appreciated.