I am back

[jennaturtle]

After my first post, my boyfriend talked to me the next day. And now...I'm back at the same place. Depressed. We argued because of me again and well, it sucks. He just told me he needs space. because this relationship. This sucks but it was my fault.

[jennaturtle]

You think so? I thought it was just me thinking it, but idk. I can be a handful. I get it. He says that he is always supportive of my decisions and it just draining. I never gotten help before, but I'm starting to feel like I really need it. Not for us but for me. Ugh I hate this feeling.

[jennaturtle]

I feel you on that. Being a woman is hard! He'll never understand, but I keep making him try and nothing. I haven't been diagnosed depressed or anxiety, but I know I have it. I'm going to go to see a psychologist soon. I'm just scared.

[blackcat64013 in reply to jennaturtle]

This is a positive step for you. Going to do something for the first time is scary and usually turns out not to be as bad as you imagine.

It is going to be fine and probably a lot less scary than you think, you may even feel relived talking to someone.

The psych's job is to help you so it's best to let them know exactly how you're feeling. They need to be able to understand what is happening for you and will usually ask you for some background information anyway (be prepared for lots of questions about your life).

Don't be concerned if it takes a few visits to get some clarity over what the issues are.

Taking some dot points to your appointment with you may help keep the anxiety at bay e.g:

things you may want to ask

•how many session do you think I need?

•will I need to take any medication? and what does it do ?

and

things you may want say

• I'm here because of my xxx but would like to talk about my anxiety

• I think I am depressed

I hope your visit goes well.

There are lots of great people on the forum with great advice.

If you're up to it write back and let us know how you went.

Good Luck!

[jennaturtle]

Thank you! That means a lot. I am currently laying down in bed next to him, but he told me a while ago after we had an argument that he needed space. I just agreed and said yeah, we do. Because we do. I cannot keep doing this to him. It's always because of me. So tomorrow morning I am going to leave. It scares me because I googled space from relationships and it sucks! And we've talked about it before and he said that needs time to think and to himself and it scares me. But then again nothing ever changes...I always say one thing and do not do it. And I really need help and I really do need space. I do. Just had to vent. What do you think? Honestly?

[jennaturtle]

Thank you. Another opinion helps a lot and yes, I will not google anything anymore. I just have to focus on me right now and make sure I get better. Should I tell him anything tomorrow before he leaves or just leave it as silence?

[Hidden]

Hi I have learnt that in relationships it's usually 6 of one and half a dozen of the other! Don't be too eager to take all the blame for any disagreements. You are on half of the relationship and you count as much as he does. x

[Windy101]

Agree with Lilaclil. It takes two to make a relationship.

He wants space? Give it to him and good riddance. I don't know what you've done, but I suspect if he really cared, he would be there for you and want to help.

Meanwhile, this is a great time to focus on yourself and the kind of life and relationships that you really want.

[Justswimming]

Do something that makes you happy play music that you like make plans to see a movie with a friend or go to a movie you want to see by yourself I know its the hardest thing not to want to call him right now but resist it if he really cares about you he'll miss you and reach out guys get freaked out when we are to needy and clingy... Get a haircut or highlts a manicure whatever makes you feel pretty and good about yourself hang in there and show yourself some love get a new outfit help someone out with something hit the gym or walk