I can’t take it anymore

[IHateMyself1]

Nothings new at all I still pull my hair, my parents threaten to take my car, and my phone because of my hair pulling but now they never leave me alone by myself. my mom doesn’t let me stay in my room and I always have to be in front of her eyes and I can’t take it anymore me and my dad haven’t talked in months cuz he hates me because I pull my hair out my life sucks and there’s nothing I can do about it.

[MariaLove123]

How long have you been pulling your hair? You need to talk to a therapist! I pick my scalp apart. It’s an on and off habit and it’s awful. Pulling your hair is self harm. I think your parents are trying to do tough love to help you stop. It’s gotta be hard on them to see you go through this. Hopefully you guys can have more talks about this. And your username is so sad 😕 You should never hate yourself! It’s the illness we should hate. Sending you hugs 🤗

[Missnoname in reply to MariaLove123]

I did the same as a child. My parents could never figure it out and pediatrician diagnosed me with psoriosis 🙄

He was apparently not well versed in anxiety disorders.

[MariaLove123 in reply to Missnoname]

It’s a horrible habit! What’s psoriasis?

It’s everything to do with anxiety. And it’s self harm

[Missnoname in reply to MariaLove123]

I know. He diagnosed me with an auto immune skin disorder I didn't have and everyone was shocked when it magically disappeared when I got older.

[MariaLove123 in reply to Missnoname]

Doctors are obviously wrong sometimes. It doesn’t feel like certain things we did were considered self harm years ago. It’s good professionals are more aware now. But even with all the techniques they recommend to stop self harm, doesn’t work. It’s like an addiction in itself.

[Missnoname in reply to MariaLove123]

Right. I started those behaviors when I was 3 years old. I didn't even have the cognitive ability to understand what I was doing, it started as a totally subconscious behavior.

[fauxartist]

sanctioning you for having a compulsive disorder is just wrong. It occurs more commonly in those with obsessive compulsive disorder. Episodes of pulling may be triggered by anxiety. Your parents need to get you help with a professional who understands

what your dealing with, if you have this disease...it's treatable and managable:

Trichotillomania

:

SynonymsTrichotillosis, hair pulling disorder[1]

A pattern of incomplete hair loss on the scalp of a person with trichotillomania

Pronunciation

/ˌtrɪkəˌtɪləˈmeɪniə/ TRIK-ə-TIL-ə-MAY-NEE-ə

SpecialtyDermatology, psychiatry

SymptomsVisible hair loss, distress[1][2]

Usual onsetChildhood or adolescence[2]

Risk factorsFamily history, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder[1]

Diagnostic methodBased on symptoms, seeing broken hairs[1]

Differential diagnosisBody dysmorphic disorder[1]

MedicationCognitive behavioral therapy, clomipramine[3]

Frequency~2%[2][3]

Trichotillomania

[Missnoname]

You need to have your mother read this comment. My 16 year old had anxiety and compulsive issues, and I discussed punishment by taking away priveledges for bad behavior (no phone if you don't go to school, etc.). His therapist asked me why I would think taking a coping mechanism away from someone who is in distress is a good idea, and she was absolutely right. I never thought of it that way until she framed it that way. Taking away your phone and your ability to socialize is likely to make your condition much worse. I'm sorry you are going through this.

And please tell them you'd like to see a therapist if you aren't already.

[fauxartist in reply to Missnoname]

your a good mom for taking the therapists advice and changing how to handle your child's anxiety issues.....and a good person to allow yourself to learn and change what you need to do to best help and understand your child's behavior. Your one of the good ones, many parents just don't want to deal with anything, and remain uneducated and don't care because they have so many of their own problems. Or they blame themselves and project that shame onto their kids.....you took a head on approach to making sure you were there for your child, that is awesome....

[Missnoname in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you. I have 2 little ones, my older one is 19 now. He was 7 when my fiance of 4 years committed suicide (not his father), and he was with me when I found him. He had far less issues than I thought he would as a result of that, but he did have some anxiety issues which resulted in severe insomnia. He is also extremely gifted, which was another school issue.

The thing is, children are a clean slate, and any issues that they have are usually the result of something we did or exposed them to, purposely or otherwise. So time outs and whatnot for minor infractions I get, but punishment for an issue that is beyond a child's control doesn't make sense to me. It's our job to teach our children...how would any of us respond if we walked in a class and the instructor started taking away our things and smacking our hand with a ruler when we made a mistake? I doubt it would be conducive to learning. Just my 2 cents 😉

[fauxartist in reply to Missnoname]

Four times in my life I had a teacher humiliate me as a kid, and on top of being an abused child, I can tell you it's devastating. I can be other influence in kids life's for sure other than parents, but growing up with a one parent, no father, and a sociopath for a mother certainly moulded me as well.

The first time, my stomach was growling in class, I was in 4th grade, and I was always sent to school without anything to eat in the morning, and often no lunch either. There was no school lunch program. So the teacher said in front of the entire class....go outside you are disrupting the class.... she then came out and chided me for making so much noise.....and asked why I didn't eat my breakfast, I told her I didn't get one...so while I was sitting outside alone at a lunch table she brought me out a rotten red apple she had sitting on her desk all week, I won't eat them to this day.

The second time, I was in fifth grade, a teacher said to me in front of the whole class again, why didn't my mother dress me better as I came to school in the same cloths everyday, and the whole class laughed at me. I told her that was all I had to wear but washed them so I was at least clean. She never apologized, and turned around and kept talking to the class.

Those are the kinds of things that destroy kids...so I know very well how what adults can do that change a kids life forever....

[Missnoname in reply to fauxartist]

That is horrible. Unfortunately things like that happen often. Why people with attitudes like that go into a field where they work with children, I will never know. But I've pretty much become of the opinion that children are wonderful and most adults are terrible people.

[fauxartist in reply to Missnoname]

me too.....

[rach1402]

It sounds to me like your parents are making your anxiety worse with their controlling behaviour. I wouldn't be surprised if that's what caused your hair pulling in the first, or at least it's probably causing a vicious circle. Talking therapy or CBT would probably help you a lot!

[Essentiallyfree]

How are you feeling today? I'm so sorry you're experiencing these struggles right now. I've had similar situations with family members when I would self harm as a teenager. It's something they don't understand and as a parent, seeing your child in such distress is completely baffling and heartbreaking. I want to think you're parents are trying to cope and help you the only way they know possible. But if you're willing, now would be a great time to take charge of your life and your circumstances. Speak with your parents about getting an appointment with a therapist. It will be the best thing you can give yourself in this season. I am praying for you to have peace of mind and heart. That you will be lead to a place of healing and will know how truly loved and beautiful you are. Take care.

[LonelySunflower]

I use to do the same and now I bearly have any hair left, I really regret it.