Breakup 💔

[crysjay1023]

Hello. I am brand new to this group I have been searching left and right for something to get me through this dark time in my life. For 8 years me and my children's father have been on and off I may not be perfect but I tried oh man have I tried. I have my blood, sweat, and tears to this relationship and to have a family with this man. Unfortunately I just haven't been the woman he wants or needs. He never rely wanted to be around or do much with me except the same things sit on the couch and watch tv. That was about it. Dinner here and there but not much to keep us happy. He has been unfaithful for a very long time. Just recently I had left for a couple weeks because I couldn't stand how unhappy he seemed with being with me and he told me after a couple weeks he wanted to get back together and loved me I caved and gave him a list of things I needed from him (which he did not one of them) we had a court date for our daughter for child support and he asked me to lie and say we have always lived together and we're getting married. Well I did as asked because how badly I wanted it to work and 3 days after he ended it and I've been forced to pack up my belongings and move out. Today my mother helped me move everything 😢 first time in years it's back in a storage unit and I am staying with my children at my mother's. I feel like I'm on the verge of ending it all and not being here any longer. I feel lost without him and want to just give up on life. I've never In my life been so depressed where I feel like I'm in a fog. Nightmares every night. I can't shake this! I want to feel strong and move on. I just don't know how.

[blackcat64013]

Hi Crysjay1023,

I am sorry your ex has broken up with you. What you are experiencing is grief for the relationship such as it was. It seems it was pretty much one way and he used you one last time for the court case.

If you can, get back to the court as soon as possible. Ask for a new hearing based on actual facts. Make him accountable! You may have to admit you lied to the court but this is worth it, morally and financially for you.

If you are really not coping, I suggest you visit your doctor for a referral to some psychological counseling to work through the issues.

Of course, the forum is here for you 24/7.

[crysjay1023 in reply to blackcat64013]

I was going to be immediately file a new hearing and object to our last one. He offered 400$ in writing and paying for their insurance without having to go through the court but I feel like it isn't enough. Although he is only paying about 350$ a month for his other child he had durinf our relationship with another female and he never even met that child. So that is very low for a child he has zero time with. So I didn't want to go back to court and get lower than the 400$ and screw myself. I'm in a situation right now where I don't know what to do. I was going to look for help through legal aid and try to get a low income lawyer to help me or give me info on possibly how much he would pay me through the court. I guarantee it wouldn't be much more than he offered me. I do see a counselor once a week every Saturday but after this move I am going to be contacting her sooner to see her sooner because I am in need of help as soon as possible. I've thought of more outside help but I cannot go away anywhere at this time due to my job and leaving my children I wouldn't want to lose my clientele at my salon I work at. Right now I feel like all I have is prayer. And emotional sipport from my mother and counselor once a week.

[Hidden]

I'm sorry you are going through this rough part of your life. I know exactly what you are going through. My first love and father of my kids left me after struggling together for 10 yrs. And he left me for another woman. It was one if the worst times of my entire life, I felt like I couldn't breath without him and couldn't go on and never would be able to and esp with the severe anxiety and depression I've struggled with all my life it was that much harder. But you can and will overcome this, you will come out stronger too. Do it for your beautiful kids, I know my kids were the only reason I kept moving forward. I felt like I wanted to die but I had to live for them. They go on like nothing, well mine did. So I had to be strong and live and thrive for them. If only I could miraculously be cured of anxiety and depression I would much happier, but that's a whole other story lol. On a serious note I hope, pray and wish you the best and that you heal faster than I did. I'm here if you ever need or want to talk to someone who knows your hurt and understands. Take care hun ❤ good vibes your way 🙂

[crysjay1023 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! Yes I feel like he was always going to be apart of my life. Even though he did awful things I still tried I knew I deserved so much better and still do. I cant wait unit the sick feeling is gone. Did he ever end up apologizing or comming back? I keep praying in my mind that maybe we just need a long break and down the road everything will work itself out for us but after everything he's done i don't know why I just cant accept it and let go. He clearly never cared or he wouldn't of been as nasty to me as he has been. And already sleeping with other females like it's nothing. I've never been through so much hurt in my entire life and I literally feel so drained. Thank you for support! At this time I need all I can get. Living for this kids is all I'm doing right now otherwise I wouldn't be here. Or maybe it wouldn't be as hard, but I can barely get out of bed and in struggling to even care for them right now. I'm giving all I have to do this. So I hope in the end something good comes out of this for me!

[Hidden in reply to crysjay1023]

No he never apologized and is still married to the same women. You did and do deserve better and you know it too. That's a very good sign and shows you know your worth. I feel you will do amazing without him and will find someone who will treat and love you like you should. I know its very hard right now even to see that too. You're mother being there is a big blessing. I hope you feel better soon hun 💕

[crysjay1023 in reply to Hidden]

Thank youu!

[blossomgirl]

Hi I can tell u from experience it gets easier. I was married 20 years (cheated on for 14). Dad helped me get my things. Took time but I got over it and it only worries me a little. 😉

[ScottieStyles]

You will get through it. i went through a horrible divorce about 10 years ago, belive it or not , I am back on talking terms with the xwife.

splitting up can be horrible, I plait up with my ex gf last year, and tackling this depression ,anxiety thing is a daily battle, just stay strong.

If you ever want to bend my ear, about anything,ping me a line, we all need each others help.