Depressed constantly

[brwniegirl]

Hi. I'm new here. I have no one to talk to. I'm a person who has psoriasis and 5 years ago had a flesh eating disease. My husband doesn't even want to be with me. He says he hates how my skin looks and feels. I believe can't get dressed in front of him and he always looks at me with disgust. When out in public, he walks away from me so we aren't seen together. I hate this feeling. I sometimes think that I would like to go to sleep and never wake up. I know he is embarrassed to be seen with me. I just have no one to talk to about this. I feel so ugly and I am sure that is how people see me too. I miss feeling like I'm pretty. It sucks.

[mysmugcat]

I am so sorry to hear this. You can always pm me. Your husband is being emotionally abusive and obviously you do not deserve this. Look up domestic violence, find a helpline.

[brwniegirl in reply to mysmugcat]

Thank you. I have no one I can talk to. My family wants nothing to do with me and it is so hard to find someone who is not afraid to be seen in public with me.

[mysmugcat in reply to brwniegirl]

What a shame. If I was there I'd go out with you. If you ever have a plan of action to harm yourself please go straight t accident and emergency at the hospital. Please keep checking in.

[brwniegirl in reply to mysmugcat]

I will do that. And if you ever need to talk you can always talk to me. Btw...Where are you located?

[mysmugcat in reply to brwniegirl]

I'm. In the UK,you're in the US?!

[brwniegirl in reply to mysmugcat]

Yes I'm in California

[ElJared91 in reply to brwniegirl]

Hey, I'm in California as well!! Any chance you can go outside and take a nice walk in the sunshine?!?! A little jaunt around the neighborhood goes a long way in making you feel even just a little bit better.

[brwniegirl in reply to ElJared91]

I do do that often. It does help a little.

[ElJared91 in reply to brwniegirl]

Awesome! It's all about taking baby steps and making small changes in our daily lives that begin to add up over time and to change our outlook on life. Although you're seeming to encounter a lot of negative experiences throughout the day, try and focus on staying positive and realizing there is sooo much beauty in life and being alive. It would probably also help you a lot to be able to speak with someone about how you're feeling. If it can't be a friend or family member, there should be plenty of medical professionals or therapists in your area that you can hopefully see.

[Depressed1996]

You are beautiful. I'm sorry to hear you are going through so much pain. I'm always here to talk if you want or just need to vent. I'm sure many other people on here would love to help you aswell.

[Hidden]

Oh my goodness. I have an answer though to get back your self esteem. That is to ditch that lousy rotten husband of yours! This is total emotional abuse so instead of feeling ugly etc. get angry and tell him to shove it where the sun don't shine. Awful.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Ps sorry if I am too blunt but your post made me so angry for you. You don't deserve any of this s...t. If I was near you I would also go out with you anytime and I would also tell your husband where to go as well.

[brwniegirl in reply to Hidden]

You are not too blunt. I have thought so many times I should leave and then I don't. I know how pathetic I am sounding. It just sucks when I have no one here to be supportive of me. I know I need to get some help. I think I need to do it now. He thinks therapy is stupid but I know I need to do it.

[Hidden in reply to brwniegirl]

You are not pathetic at all, you are just living with an abuser who has run your self esteem down so much it's not suprising you find it hard to be more positive.

Do you have to tell him you are going to therapy? I think that's a great decision by the way so do it. Meantime stay with us on here and we will support and help you all we can.

You come over as a lovely person and you deserve someone who will love you for who you are and will see past your scars.

[Theaveragejoe]

I'm glad you reached out and are seeking help in this forum. You are worth more than your husband makes you feel. I'm sure you are an amazing person. Detach your self from that negativity and psychological abuse. Engulf your self with something that makes you feel positive about yourself.. Whether those positive things come in the form of music, friends, books, exercise... Seek out the little positive things in life and positive will find you back. The journey won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

[Betty30]

Hi Brwniegirl,

How in the world do you manage to stay with this man??!! .... Please, you really and truly need to be in contact with a therapist...someone who can help you to help yourself to get OUT of your miserable situation....and to help you with your self-esteem so you find the courage to leave this man. We can help you with our sympathy and understanding...but you need real, live, in person guidance from a professional who can make specific suggestions as to what steps to start taking. Things will NOT get better 'in time'...if you need to, contact your physician and work SOMETHING out so that you can receive therapy...you deserve this. And yes, there ARE ways to help you financially...Best wishes to you.

[Hidden]

Honestly your husband is an asshole true beauty comes from within and shines out and if he cant get past the physical view then hes not worthy of you im here if you need to chat

[brwniegirl in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. It's nice to know that someone cares

[brwniegirl]

Thanks for your support. It's so hard to go through this alone. I really appreciate you.

[menagerie11]

Your husband has a problem and it isn't you. He is not behaving like a caring person. Have you thought of joining a support group? You could get help with your depression. I guarantee that there are people who would be fine with being seen with you. You could also call a support line. Find people who are more understanding.

[VirgoMum13]

Hey brwniegirl

I'm sorry you're going thru this. Your husband is an animal for treating you this way. . When you really love someone, love is unconditional. He needs to realize that if he loved you prior to this happening, nothing has changed you're still the same beautiful woman he fell in love with. Don't let him treat you like that. Let him know that you're strong enough to do this on your own and if you need to leave you will!!! Don't feel the need to stay because he's your husband. If he can't continue to love and cherish you then he's not a real man.

Remember love yourself before loving someone else. You will get thru this one step at a time.

Sending much love to you from Miami Fl. You can Dm me anytime beautiful ❤️

[brwniegirl in reply to VirgoMum13]

Thanks for the kind words. I feel so alone. I just wish I was stronger.