New Member... Lost and Lonely

[pug_girl]

I wake up every morning dreading the day ahead. I don't stay still for too long, however, because that leaves me time to think about how pathetic my life feels. I'm a college student currently applying to graduate school. This alone adds so much stress to my life but when you add in everything else, it's a recipe for disaster. I feel so alone all the time. My friends don't want to hear about my problems. They think I'm being "dramatic" and "annoying" (yes, those are their exact words). Because of this, I try to find a boyfriend that will be there for me even on my bad days. These guys either get denied by me because I'm scared to share with them how "messed up" I am or they deny me... and when they deny me I go into a downward spiral. Just recently, I was talking to a guy that's a freshman in college (I'm a senior). He denied me. This made me feel SO pathetic. How could a guy 3 years younger than me say that he didn't want to be with me? He told me that it's because I leave for graduate school in a year and he doesn't want to get hurt when I leave, but I didn't believe it. Instead, I took that as "something's wrong with you.. no one wants to be with you." I'm just so lonely. No one to talk to. And this loneliness makes me feel so lost in this world. I just want to be loved. I want to be listened to. I want someone to WANT to be with me and listen to me. I want to feel happy again. I hate feeling like this...

[Hidden]

I'm am so saddened for you. I think right now you need to focus on you. Do you like yourself? I'm wondering about that. I'm here for you if you need me. I sure wish you all the best. Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!!!

[pug_girl in reply to Hidden]

I like some things about myself... I'm actually pretty smart and I do care very deeply for people. Most things about myself, however, I absolutely hate. I feel annoying, needy, ugly, weird and way too emotional. Thank you for reaching out. It truly means a lot.

[Hidden in reply to pug_girl]

You have got to start feeding positive into your brain..positive breeds positive & negative breeds negative. It's like you have to retrain your brain when things happen or thoughts come in. Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!!!

[pug_girl in reply to Hidden]

But how do you do that...?

[Hidden in reply to pug_girl]

You do just that...when you get a negative thought, say no..push it away & take your mind to a happy place. Do you like music? Put some tunes on & dance away. Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!!!

[pug_girl in reply to Hidden]

Dance it out! Just like Meredith and Cristina in Grey's Anatomy! I will definitely try that. Thank you so much.

[Hidden in reply to pug_girl]

Yes go for it!!! Love, peace, joy, light & hugs!!!

[smilezz in reply to pug_girl]

You are definitely Not Ugly and Not Weird.. Some people just don't deserve to be in your life so they just left it's not because you have anything wrong.. And Just Try To focus On Your Talents and spend More Time improving it and learn alot of good things about your self.. Just focus on the good not the bad at all.. And try to ignore the negativity around you.. YOU ARE DOING GREAT BY COMING IN HERE and this is the firs step. TO Care And love Your Pretty self More And More.. Love Ya 🙆❤

[pug_girl in reply to smilezz]

Thank you! I am loving the support everyone gives on here. Your response truly means a lot to me.

[vinman12]

Hiya, I'm happy your applying toward graduate school, you should be happy about that, and of course it's gonna make you feel like that but I bet you will overcome it. I would not let the freshman get you down you should put yourself first set up your future with finnishing school those are what's going to bring you Joy when you finally succeed , plus a new school and new guys lol. Glad you joined I will chat with you anytime! We all accept you here and care for you 😘

[6ixtyon1]

Firstly, you are to be commended for continuing on to graduate school...secondly, I ran into the issue of immature dates for a long, long time, myself...I am sure, with my stress issues, I know I was coming off as nervous and doubtful...but, determined. Like you, I knew I deserved better. I think that's what brought you here, and i think that was the right move. There are many movies, stories and tv shows that depict college as a jovial--even rowdy--rite-of-passage, with a few incidents of anxiety thrown in, to remind the audience that college is still "a serious business." That, it is--you are paving the road to your future, pretty much single-handedly--and that is a lonely business, a lot of the time...like having to be the captain of a ghost ship. You know, no one else is going to do this for you; and yet, how lonely the struggle is, just can't be ignored. That's the down side; but, here's the good news: the loneliness and school grind won't last forever, and with your determination and focus, you will be a success at what you love..and, there will be time to find that right partner, in the future. Take a breath and remember what your priorities are, just for now...be kind to yourself, stay focused on caring for your future--as well as yourself--and I think you will be seeing light at the end of the tunnel, before long. Blessings and light on your journey!

[pug_girl in reply to 6ixtyon1]

Thank you so much. I really needed this response to my post. And as good news... I got an interview at the graduate school I applied to! One step closer to my future.

[6ixtyon1 in reply to pug_girl]

Most excellent--keep it up, and don't look back! :>) I see a lot of light in your future! :>) Keep us posted--and keep your faith!

[BonnieSue]

Hi pug_girl,

You have so many awesome replies I will add only 1 thing to them...always remember that depression itself almost always brings a strong feeling of loneliness...depression is essentially a Big Liar and will tell you you aren't okay and you're horribly lonely or life isn't worth living...whether true or not. Don't believe the Lies...believe in yourself and what you know is true and good about yourself. Think positively about yourself and the Lies will quiet down significantly.

Oh yeah, 1 more thing: If you need to, make an index card with a few words that remind you of what I've said, even months from now. You can do this with any helpful things people have told you...I found this helped me. You can flip through them from time to time because you'll be so busy learning new things that you may forget some really helpful things people have told you, you know what I mean? Take care and blessings to you!

[SuzyQ1948]

Hello, i just got back on Health Unlocked and saw you post and reminds me of my life. It really hurts to turned down but there will be another guy in your life. I didn't marry until I was 31 but he was worth the wait.

Just wanted to say hello.

SuzyQ

[hospitalityhr14]

Hey there. I am really touched by your post since it roughly describes the way I feel all the time. I am here if you need someone to chat to. Really hope you feel better soon.