I'm so afraid: I need help. I'm all... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support
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I'm so afraid


I need help. I'm all alone. I'm 52 years old, never been married, I don't have a significant other in my life. My depression and anxiety have caused me to isolate myself from others. I worry constantly about what will become of me. I'm always alone, except when I'm at work and I'm tired of being this way. Does anyone else feel this way? I do see a phychiatrist for med. management. I'm on Effexor, Xanax XR, and mirtazapine to help me sleep. I usually wake up nervous with constant worrying thoughts. I would like to see a therapist but my insurance is the problem. I also work and that limits my time. Do most who see a therapist go weekly or more? I miss all the people I used to have in my life, some have passed away others have moved on with their lives. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that I'm not alone. That there are others who because of anxiety and depression find themselves alone.

Thank you.

18 Replies

Hello. Hearing your story helps me realise im not alone. I would love to give you a cuddle but up all the way over in the uk just outside london so ill have to post it but only if you return one as im in desperate need. I wake scared every morning and cry, struggle through the day and anxiety at night. I feel i have no future what so ever. I live with my elderly mum becouse she cant cope without my father being alive. My life stopped before it got started due to this. I have no friends, family think im mad cos i have anxiety, depression and some agoraphobia. I work from home as i work for myself. Life really is bad for me, i dont know how much more i can take. Here in the uk we have the nhs which is great but the mental health departments just dont care. Theres no hope and ive always said that once certain things have happend i am free to die.

No you and I are definitely not alone. What you described, the anxiety, depression, isolation from others is my life. I grew up an only child and only had a few friends growing up, but I was fine with that. I have lots of cousins but they are all grown, got married, and have kids that are now starting college. I just feel I have nothing in common with them. On FB they post pics of their kids and their achievements. Again nothing in common. It's scary because I now feel that so much of my life I wasted.

You are not alone. I know how the isolation caused anxiety and depression slowly takes apart our lives. Most people don't understand.

Do you take meds? There not for everyone, and I've been on just about all of them. They do help me reduce the anxiety.

I'm here if you want to talk. So here's a ((((hug))))

Thank you for your post.

My heart breaks for you poppet36. Life can be very hard and cruel and lonely. I am glad you are here posting.

It's difficult but sometimes we have to be proactive and give ourselves the best possible chance for managing this disease. Sometimes we do things that un consciously work against and sabatsge our other treatments.

These are some of the tools I use. These are suggestions that work for me. Your results may vary but there are no negative side effects Only positive side effects Take what u like, leave the rest

- excercise releases your brains natural anti anxiety/ depessant chemicals. Rigorous enough to get to heavy breathing and blood flow. It can be as simple as jogging in place or climbing stairs

- diet changes. Caffeine and sugar are fuel for anxiety. Processed foods, greasy foods, fried foods and artificial sweeteners work against you. A clean diet can do wonders .

- avoid alcohol, it's a depressant.

- meditation , I use podcasts and YouTube videos to find guided meditations, self hypnosis and inspirational self affirmation. Use the search bar. Get a podcast app

- stay connected, don't isolate. Find forums like this one, recovery programs, church, etc to express your feeling and get feedback

- social connection - Create a free profile at Meetup.com and attend meet ups with others who share similar hobbies and interests.

-Volunteer or support or encourage others is a good practice. doing things for others gets you out of ruminating about yourself. "Don't think less of yourself, think of yourself less"

- attitude of gratitude. As hard as it is, it could always be worse. I make gratitude list to remind myself of my blessings.

- write it down. Keep a journal, dig deep. Write letters to yourself, to god, your resentments, your fears, your inner child etc. be your own therapist. It's cheap

- professional therapy or counceling. Although it's cost prohibitive, sometimes it takes a professional to dig up the right questions.

-Avoid news, politics, and all forms of advertisements. They all use fear to control your emotions to generate a reaction.

-Avoid social media. Don't fall into the trap of comparing your insides with other people's outsides.

-Try natural supplements like Q96 brain supplements or others. Google it. I have not gotten dramatic results but I know people who have

These tips have no negative side effects. They are worth a try before resorting to drastic measures.

Good luck ✌️

PS- watch this video when you need inspiration

in reply to Meeasy

Thank you for the great advice. I will try some of your suggestions. I need to start making some changes, but that's never been easy for me.

Hi........I'm sorry u feel this way !BUT the REALITY of life is that , we are born alone & leave alone. In between, we MIGHT have someone called ?LOVE BUT u REALLY question that,......it's a compromise most of partnerships & marriages . For a while , there might be passion due to out hormones.................The rest .....some manage to compromise better than others so......u are DEFINITELY not alone in this life . Read Dr. Eben Alexander or Dr Brian Weiss. U have to isolate what makes u happy & go make it happen. All of us are in the same boat. So cheer up........... J

Hi Shutterbug65. Have you mentioned to your psych that the drugs you are taking do not relieve you of your anxiety? What are they doing for you?

in reply to hannah821

Hi hannah,

Thank you for your suggestion that Shutterbug65 talk to his doctor about his meds not relieving his anxiety. But I don't think there is much more in the medication form that can help.

I am married but am in a similar situation as Shutterbug65 due to not working, my husband is a good man and still enjoys his work, but I had no children, his are a nightmare, and all my extended family is 900 miles away. We moved to a new neighborhood to downsize, some of my friends have died and others like "lilaclill"'s are preoccupied with their children and grandchildren. I get lonely and depressed about it at times.

To treat my anxiety related to PTSD, my neuropsychiatrist had me on the extended release Xanax that Shutterbug65 is taking....and now am on regular Xanax 1 mg twice a day. But I have to keep busy or the loneliness sets in, so I really don't think there really is much to relieve us from the feeling of being isolated....It's our situation, not our brains causing a great deal of the anxiety.

But I do appreciate that you noticed no one had suggested talking to his doctor about the meds. Maybe there is something that can be done. In my case, I know the medication for the anxiety from my PTSD is about at the limit an adult can take (I have Xanax .5 for bad anxiety break through times).

I have to keep myself with my service dog out of the house for at least 5 hours a day doing something or the anxiety/depression kicks in. It hard to figure out where to go and what to do.

And my faithful buddy of 12 years is suffering now from end-stage congestive heart failure, and we don't know now if each day is going to be his last....so I am starting to grieve now.....but first thought it was depression getting worse and my doctor suggested I take extra Cymbalta in the morning....only made me sleepier....so at least I have learned that the grieving is natural...don't like it, really hurts, but natural due to my situation and I have to start now figuring out what I am going to do once Scooter is gone. Taking the extra Cymbalta isn't going to help.

Again thanks for mentioning the medication. It let me share that my lifestyle situation at this time of life has to change, and THAT's the challenge I can't figure out how to conquer.....Think that's what I gathering from some others who have replied. :)

in reply to Hidden

Wouldn't be absolutely WONDERFUL we all had the financial resources to meet somewhere in the world once a month for several days. To check on one another in between, What a "family" or "club" that would be! :)

Hi Hannah821 The Xanax XR and Effexor do seem to help after an hour or two. I don't like the way Mirtazapine makes me feel in the morning so I stopped taking it. I'm getting tired of taking meds though.

Thank you for your reply.

Hi Shutterbug65. I had the same reaction with Mertazapine when I was first prescribed; doctor downgraded to a half. After a few months i went back to a whole one. Now I take it at bedtime and it helps me sleep with a .5 xanax also.

You have yourself. I am here also . Is there a NAMI support group in your area?

Hi Thanks for the suggestion. What is NAMI ? I would love to join a support group.

NAMI is the National Alliance on mental illness. I am looking for a support group closer to me. The nearest one is 30 miles!

Shutterbug, you are not alone. I am 60, never married, not in a relationship. I am on meds for depression , OCD and anxiety. The worst thing for us is to isolate. I am in therapy 2 times a week and it definitely helps. Your insurance won't cover any therapy? I am a care giver for my Mom and that can be very hard and isolating, it's hard to get her Out. I would reach out to the people you work with and try to make a connection. That is really important. Join a group for support or just to meet people. God bless


in reply to Ddorne

Thank you for responding. That's the problem as the years went by I found myself more and more alone. My girlfriend passed away in 2010 and I haven't been in a relationship since. We. Had each other and after her passing I found myself unable to move forward. I do at times go out with the people at work, but they just don't feel like real friends. They have their own lives. It's so hard being isolated with anxiety and depression. But everyday I press on. You know how it feels.


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