Hello Everyone. I'm New Here

[Lost-and-Stuck]

Hello Everyone,

I'm a 44 year old male who resides in New Jersey, U.S. and have been waging a war with severe anxiety, OCD and depression for 26 years. As I type this post, it's very difficult to accept the fact that 26 years of my life have been spent fighting these demons and the amount of pain that I endured can only be understood by those that have also fought the war against anxiety, OCD and depression.

In 2018, I was diagnosed with having OCD, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder and major depression. From 2016 up to the present, I have never experienced such consistent, severe anxiety and depression; it has completely taken over my life and it has shattered any hope of getting better. In 2020, I started to utilize alcohol for the first time as a coping mechanism against the severe anxiety and OCD which resulted in me being forced to resign from my place of employment in 2021 after 14 years of service.

I am currently living at home with my parents since I rely on them for support and I would not be able to live on my own. In addition to my anxiety disorders and major depression, I struggle with crippling self-doubt as well as a lack of confidence and assertiveness. My world has incredibly diminished in size; I am either at work or at home with my parents. I do not have any friends in my hometown so as a result, the only social interaction that I have is at work or at home with my parents. Also, my depression and anxiety forces me to withdraw from society and to live mostly in isolation. Lastly, I am afraid to go to bed every night because I am afraid of what awaits me the next day and I know how torturous morning anxiety can be for me.

I have become terrified of the future and truly do not see any light at the end of the tunnel.

I hope that by joining this forum, I can connect with others who can relate to me any maybe share any insight they may have.

Thank you for reading.

[Hotmessmama]

Man I feel every single word you wrote I live at home with my parents as well I have one friend no social life other than living thru my parents sad really here to chat exchange strategies or just shoot the breeze with the you if you'd like I'm new to this as well

[Lost-and-Stuck in reply to Hotmessmama]

Thank you for responding.

[Russellb73]

I was like this many years ago I was suicidal, severally depressed with no hope in sight, I was £50,000 in debt and didn’t have any answers I used alcohol and drugs and prescribed medication to get me through and they worked until they stopped working I tried to stop on my own and things just got worse.

I ended up going to rehab and then restated my life going to many AA meetings NA meetings and other support groups for my mental health. 11 years on I’m still sober and clean and life is far better than it ever was, I still have rough days especially when the weather is bad I can’t get out and do things but I have a group of friends who do understand me and get me ! My tribe !! There are lots of support groups for addiction and mental health please try them listen to the similarities not the differences !! I’m not religious but the refer to GOD (good orally direction the Great Out Doors but not the religious god. I learnt to listen and over time things changed and life is so much better I also suffer with other health issues but that’s because of my past but I manage on a daily basis I have my kids back in my life and I work helping others who are struggling ! Please reach out.talk you are not alone although we think there is no one else who could understand we all feel unique I was pleased to know I was unwell and needed help.

Message me if you want to chat there are also lots of Groups on face book try them be honest open and willing to change good things will happen 🙏🏻💖👍🏼

[Lost-and-Stuck in reply to Russellb73]

Thank you for the reply. It means a lot

[Figgins42]

I'm 48 and live with my Mother. I've never had a consistent career and I barely leave the house.I will likely end up alone and it terrifies me. My Mother is my best friend and my whole life I've been afraid to lose her. I see her getting older and more infirmed and it's destroying me. My point is, I know where you're coming from and I understand your self-doubt.

But I also think you're being very hard on yourself. My request is that you be a little kinder to you.

All these things you're coming to terms with are difficult, but not impossible to to at least get a little relief from.I haven't been taking my usual walks (it's been weeks) and I see a very drastic downturn in my mental health. When I walk or get just a little exercise, I feel I have more control. I also have OCD so feeling in control is key for people like us.

I swear walking and getting those endorphins going and knowing it's the ONE thing I can do for myself helps.

Please try taking walks. Even if you start with 5 minutes. It will help.

And know you're not alone. You're not a loser. You're a good person who deserves happiness. I'm here if you want to talk.

[Alivefor1320 in reply to Figgins42]

Great Advice! Exercise is so important. Walking clears the brain. We were not meant to stand still. Also, no doubt your mom loves having you close to her.

[Figgins42 in reply to Alivefor1320]

Thank you Alive! It definitely does clear the brain. Great way to put it. I'll be inconsistent for a bit and then I'll take a walk and my brain instantly goes "ahhh" or "you need this, how did you forget?" There are a couple of people in my neighborhood who walk almost everyday and they walk miles. Their consistency is so admirable. I really wish I could be that committed but perhaps I'm not designed that way and that's ok. But I will certainly keep trying.

And thank you for saying that about my Mom. Sometimes I think it helps her, me being with her. Sometimes I think I bring her down. But I'd never be ok with leaving her alone. Especially not now.

Thanks again 🩷

[Alivefor1320 in reply to Figgins42]

I used to walk 5-12 miles a week. What I didn't recognize at the time was that I was instinct. I was fighting off impending depression tendencies. Lately, I just haven't found the time and I'm on the east coast and we've hit a major heat wave. In regards to your mom, never doubt how comforting it is to have your children close. I'm sure she worries about you but, she just wants you to be ok.

[Alivefor1320 in reply to Figgins42]

I have two sons. One exercises every day for a minimum of an hour. He's a happy camper. The other needs to but doesn't recognize that. He's brilliant but, isn't doing so well. Genetics are a tough.....keep moving