I'm screaming for help

[desiree294]

This month marks one year of trying different medications to get my anxiety and depression under control so I can function in society (I can't hold a job). Well, here I am sitting in my room crying because yet another medication has done nothing for me. Over the course of one year I have gone through easily eight different medications (both for anxiety and depression) yet here I am with no progress. Because medication hasn't been doing much, I have also been seeing a therapist that honestly doesn't do much either. Sure, its nice to have someone listen to my struggles but really, its just a human that sits there and listens. I also have started group therapy and SURPRISE that doesn't do much else for me besides help me to not feel as alone.

You see, I do everything right... I've been exploring medications, I go to two types of therapy, I even exercise and try to go out in nature daily. Yet, here I am... right where I started. Crying because I am severely depressed and shaking from uncontrollable anxiety.

I have put so much time, energy, and money into this illness and I have nothing to show for it. I feel like I have wasted an entire year of my life struggling through these medications to find not a single one that does any good for me. I feel like nothing in this word can help me.

[Cdoubleyou]

Sorry Desiree, that's a tough place to be. I wish I had the answer for you, but I've been working to manage a similar experience. Look forward to hearing from others to see if someone has some sage advice for us.

[desiree294 in reply to Cdoubleyou]

I'm so sorry to hear you're experiencing similar. On the bright side, at least we are not giving up and we are actively trying. I guess that's really all you can do at this point... is to just keep trying.

[pennymama in reply to desiree294]

Also on the bright side, you are an inspiration to the rest of us for the fact that you keep trying. I think something will click for you, and then it will all be worth it.

[desiree294 in reply to pennymama]

Thank you so much for your kind words! I hope something clicks soon.

[Hidden]

I'm in the same place. I can't hold a job or even get off my butt to get one because the anxiety cripples me. I only tried one antidepressant and completely hated it so I'm trying desperately to treat myself without it. It's okay to feel weak but you are very very strong! As for your therapy my therapist takes a different approach which I questioned at first but is working little by little. She really works with me to find the underlying cause to my problems but then also teaches me to look at my feelings and thoughts without judgment. I go to a center where they focus on things like meditation and what not. I thought there was no way this could work for me but to my surprise it's doing something so I highly recommend looking into meditation if you haven't already. I'm going through the same thing as you and hope we can work through some things together.

[desiree294 in reply to Hidden]

It's the most frustrating thing to not be able to hold a job but I'm very happy you have found something that is helping you. I always heard meditation is great for anxiety, I just haven't had the opportunity to try it yet.

[Hidden in reply to desiree294]

It is very frustrating and not being able to make money can set the anxiety off even more. I go on YouTube and look up guided meditation and mindfulness meditations they work really well and it's easier to meditate when someone walks you through it. Some of the people's voices are either hilarious or irritating but still helpful nonetheless!

[Hidden]

Have you tried citalopram thats what im on and it seems to be working for me they had to increase the dosage a couple of times but i like tge affects it gives me

[desiree294 in reply to Hidden]

I have not tried that. My doctor just upped my dosage on the four medications I'm currently taking. I'm hoping that does something for me.

[plzmybabies in reply to desiree294]

how are you doing today?

[desiree294 in reply to plzmybabies]

I'm doing a bit better. I went back to my psychiatrist and got my medication altered. Every time we change my medication I get a little hopeful that it'll work this time. I guess we'll see soon if these changes have worked. The only downside is I have extreme fatigue and feel as though I can't even lift my arms. I slept 14 hours the past 2 days.

[plzmybabies in reply to desiree294]

I understand how you feel, been doing the same thing as you for over a year and I can't seem to get anywhere. Hopefully it will ease up and you'll be on that yellow brick road, I wish I was but my psychiatrist does not know what else to try.

[mlc55]

I never felt like a psychiatrist did more than just prescribe medications, which has a definite place in treatment. A psychotherapist has helping me figure out how to channel my coping abilities by learning to dismiss negative thoughts and replace them with positives. It is really difficult but has helped me. It is hard work. It is so much easier to think negatively than it is positively.

[Starrlight]

So sorry you are going through this. It’s hard to keep up hope but you are and that is huge. I also try to get out into nature and exercise. Even if it does not heal us completely it does help. I bet you would like guided meditation. Look up Tara Brach. She does reflections as well. I have found it helpful. Best to you!

[Sillysausage234]

Hope things have improved for you🙏

[dreamywriter]

Desiree, I don’t know if this has anything to do with your situation but have you ever heard of “highly sensitive people?”

I’m reading a book currently on how to deal with it as I am a highly sensitive person and because of my sensitivity, my depression and anxiety are much worse (or perhaps it’s even a main contributing factor)

Again, I don’t know if this is relatable to your situation at all but if you’re interested to learn more about HSP, or learn the signs of it, you can check out this link (or just google it :))

introvertdear.com/news/high...

Hope everything goes better for you. And hey, you’re doing a great job. You’ve continued to fight and try again and again and that takes a lot of work and dedication.

[Clynn34]

Same here, I feel like I am running out of time. I been in this up and down pattern for about 7 yrs now. And I have to stop and start therapy as I go cause I can't afford it. I know im in depression but no help is available.I hope you get a breakthrough and I pray things will get better for you.