it’s been a while since I posted but I’m really struggling with debilitating anxiety, bipolar and depression. I have gone on and off on so many meds. Klonopin has been helping me with my anxiety and sometimes I take 2-3 mgs when that’s over the limit but it helps decrease that crazy overwhelming anxiety that keeps me from functioning like a regular adult. I tend to self isolate sabotage my friendships and stay away from social outings due to everything I’m going thru.
I also am struggling with pre diabetes, being overweight not eating the right foods to keep me healthy.. and it has led me down a rabbit hole. I’m a 40 year old female who feels stuck, all alone, and even with therapy and pills, the depression and anxiety keep me from functioning and carrying out daily chores and important responsibilities like laundry/ doing my career related paperwork and even not going to work and staying home bec it feels safe to stay away from others.
I also hate the way I look which also contributes to me not wanting to really live life. I just go thru the motions and have days where I feel I can do things but usually takes days to get out of the brain fog and darkness that overcomes me.
I also don’t want to put in the hard work necessary to feel better. Maybe I like feeling this way it’s comfortable as my therapist says. What to do? Feel like a lost cause
Who else has these experiences and what has helped?
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reinventingmyself36
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I have those experiences and feel quite unhappy. I also have Bipolar. I am doing minimum chores at the moment. and feel guilty. I don't wanna put in the hard work either, but hate being the way I am. I'm certainly not happy being like this. I doubt you are either. I do force myself to go for a reasonably regular walk and do a couple of easy basic exercises. I am exploring books on anxiety and depression too.
I def think it’s due to depression/ bipolar. I can feel myself sinking down and I try to pull myself up but keep sinking. Today is better. Have u taken meds for bipolar? There’s a new one lybalvi .. I haven’t tried it yet
It worked in a week. It's for bipolar. Its similar to an old drug called Mellerill. It is an antipsychotic. At the moment l am on an extra tablet of it during the day to help with my anxiety. It helps a bit.
I'm a 48 yo female going through perimenopause. I'm a lifelong sufferer of ADHD, TRD, GAD, Panic attacks, disorderd eating & body dysmorphia issues, past obesity, childhood trauma and sexual abuse survivor, recovery from addiction and substance abuse of meth, cocaine & cigarettes.
I understand your challenges to my core. I've LIVED this cycle for decades. Hated myself more than anyone could EVER dislike me. I've been in the dark recesses of depression and crippling anxiety for YEARS without end.
But I've also self educated through it all. Today my life looks nothing like the above description. I live a clean organic lifestyle built on the 3 pillars of General Health. Diet is #1. Without that commitment, your body cannot support your mind and your mind cannot support your body. Exercise is #2. My dogs (and hubby) keep me motivated to get outside every day. What better bonding time than a good walk with your Best Friend. #3 Lifestyle/Sleep I require 9+ hrs a day....period. Sometimes MORE. Sleeping is my superpower 😴! In a depressive episode I can sleep 20 hrs a day every day.
I require TMS 🧲🧠 (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) treatment monthly to maintain my remission from TRD (treatment resistant depression). I've been receiving treatment since last Feb as I was suicidal with a plan prior to starting this life saving therapy. That is why I'm on this site.
I finally committed myself 100% to doing WHATEVER it takes to get the quality of life I deserve. That meant changing every bad habit and conditioning of my lifetime in order to find balance and peace. I'm on a journey worth the effort. The results have been nothing short of miraculous. But I had to stop relying on outside sources and meds and turn that focus inward and motivate myself from WITHIN.
Ask me anything you want...I can only share what I've done. It probably won't work for you in the same way, but it might open a door for you that you never knew existed and THAT might be your key. Find what motivates you.
wow! Congratulations on finding what works for you. I think we differ in that you were willing to do the work needed to get thru those dark periods. I barely can care for myself. Men aren’t attracted to me and ones I meet are so self centered and toxic. I def think if I had a significant other or great supportive friend I would be motivated to work on myself. Maybe that’s my laziness!
I am working on getting my diet under control which is the hardest. I go from days of not eating healthy within a week to guilt and shame for doing so and now trying again to eat healthy again. Sleep is a big issue for me and I have taken a variety of meds to help me with my sleep but they either worked for short period of time or helped me sleep 5 hours a night or less which I can now do without meds.
I've had 4 spine fusions, both rotator cuffs surgically repaired and gallbladder removed from Oct 2016-april 2022...5 1/2 years and 7 major procedures, countless days of physical therapy and rehab, financial distress, suicidal ideation and rampant mental health decline.
I was told I'd never walk again without assistance. I had a walker and cane for 2+ years. My life was over in many ways. I'll be 49 this Nov and if I didn't start changing my lifestyle and habits, I'd be dead. I can't tell you where the motivation came/comes from or why. But at the point when I believed my only option was ☠️ Death, something inside me chose LIFE. And I started researching EVERYTHING I could find about depression anxiety trauma and how I could influence my life for positive outcomes instead of choosing to follow the same destructive path I've walked for decades.
I was tired of following shitty advice from a broken medical system based on archaic and barbaric meds that only cause more problems. Pills don't cure anything, but they're a way to get us mentally motivated to DO the work we cannot when suffering Active Symptoms of our diseases and conditions in order to heal ourselves from the damage that has been done to our brains over many many years. That was my realization. It is up to ME. No one else will do it for me but me.
although for me its opposite- i IMMERSE myself in chores, tasks at home, cooking cleanin etc, to take my mind off and distract me from the misery that rears its ugly head daily. Im totally OCD about it all and i know its unhealthy--- but for me its a coping mechanism.
Isnt life so darn hard and impossible?
For me, I have found the only way we can do this is with the Lord. Journaling, bible reading, wine all helps me😊
interesting how all those things you immerse yourself in which I think are amazing and healthy coping mechanisms help u. They cause me debilitating anxiety and not doing them causes guilt and peace at same time. I wish I had such ocd issues.
I need to become more spiritual with God and I’m Jewish an it’s so hard. Wine is great but too much sugar and I tend to over drink lol
Thank you for responding and letting Me know what helps you and I wish you well
I also feel like yourself more often than not and I must admit it is extremely difficult to motivate myself.
I have to force myself just to get out of bed at times. All I can say is try to stay positive keep up with any meds and also try to do something that you enjoy even if it’s once a week.
I hear you and life is hard. If you are overwhelmed with things you want to change, it’s too difficult and will discourage you from trying anything. I suggest small incremental changes. Start with adding in some raw veggies as a snack each day. Some celery and cucumber and carrots. Take a walk around the block or even throughout your home. Don’t try to radically change your diet. One day at a time do a couple is small things. Eat an apple or a banana. Listen to some music or a podcast while walking. This is what works for me. On a very bad day I stay in bed and maybe tomorrow I’ll be a bit better. You may have to force it to start but you may find it motivating.
hi there, so sorry to hear you’re going through this. I unfortunately have been able to relate at times in my life. As someone who has worked as a nutritionist & lost ~40 lbs in a year myself, my main tip is tackle your physical health first. I wish diet/exercise weren’t just presented as a way to lose weight, but for what they really are. They genuinely help you feel better, both physically and mentally. I don’t recommend super restrictive diets, although with the concern of pre-diabetes I would focus on your carb sources coming from whole grains (brown rice, whole wheat bread/pasta/tortillas, etc.) and really making sure get good, lean protein options (chicken, fish, lean beef, etc). The general recommendation is ~50 g of protein per day. Lots of fruits/veggies & water is great too. Every meal should be balanced (1 carb, 1 protein, 1 f/v). I would ask a Dr/nutritionist for more specific values for your carbs/protein since they know your height/weight or medical history. Overall, just everything in moderation! Don’t look at it as “I’m on a diet, so I can never eat ______ again.” That is a recipe for disordered eating. As for exercise, small, realistic goals are best. Walking is awesome exercise. Start there. Do some low impact exercises at home (there’s ton of free YouTube videos). I promise you when your body feels better, your brain in turn feels better. Hope this helps!
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