I am new to this forum and I usually do not do this, but I am feeling so sad and alone. My daughter is leaving Monday to be with her grandmother for a month and I feel so alone. I just acquired a position as a teacher so I have the summer before it begins. And, to most people this might sound ideal, to me it sounds like torture. All can think of is the prospect of waking up every day - to what? Nothing is louder than a quiet house! I know that I should look at this time as a time to focus on me, but I just feel alone.
Compounding this I am so nervous about my new position - I have never been a teacher before. I am so anxiety-ridden that I cannot sleep or focus. If I am not falling asleep at 5:30 in the morning, then I am waking up crying or practically hyperventilating. I know that these are the times to pray - and I do - I just still feel alone, albeit a little better....
Sorry about my rant, but I think it helped writing it down, so thank you.
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moseley777
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This disease is cunning and baffling. We can over think and create problems when there was none before. No structure or plan can exacerbate the problem. Volunteering and mentoring helps me get out of myself and feel like part of the solution. It breaks isolation and loneliness. Improves self esteem and worth
Excercise is vital too. It can be as simple as walking briskly or climbing stairs but increasing blood and oxygen flow releases good brain chemicals.
For social connection with others, check out Meetup.com. This is NOT a dating site. It's a place to find groups with similar interest and activities. It's free with no obligations. You have all summer so break out of the comfort zone and have fun.
We have a lot in common. My daughter is also about to move out as she is going to college. My heart is breaking. I am going to be so alone and devastated. However, the upside of all these bad feelings is that I am coming to realize that I need to live my life for me and I obviously have not been doing that. So I plan on getting busy. It's time for me. The other option is withdrawing to the couch and isolating in the depressive self-pity. Now all that was so easy to type, we shall see if I'm able to do it!!
Also Moseley777 I am a teacher albeit not in my first year. The first few years of teaching are pretty stressful but you will be fine. My suggestions include when you are in front of the students, 'fake it til you make it!!' And all other times, keep it simple and ask questions of your mentor colleagues. There are tons of resources online- most everything has been done before so it's not like you have to recreate the wheel. You can do this! Keep posting, I'd like to hear from you again!
Wow! I just read this and it made me cry because your words touched me just when I needed them the most. So, from the bottom of my heart I say thank you.
What you are going through with your daughter I will be going through in 5 SHORT years. It's almost like I'm on countdown - and I am dreading it so much. I know what you are saying about living your life and embracing each moment, but you are right. It is so much easier said than done. In fact, I have been trying to take your advice this summer and do things differently - ask people for lunch, get together - but I have had little success. I know that the older that we get the harder it is to make friends simply because so many people are focused on their families, jobs, etc - but where I live it is even more difficult because it is such a familial town. Everyone seems to come from a big family and refused to allow anyone into that circle. This can feel very isolating...and alone. But, I wish you the best of luck! I am proud of your outlook! This time is for you! I definitely hope that you have greater success than I have.
Regarding teaching, again, your words meant a lot to me because I am so anxiety-ridden. You see, I have never taught before - Ever. They are giving me an opportunity to teach AP Microeconomics because I have a degree in economics (BA), but it has been so long that I am struggling remembering the concepts, etc. I ask myself, 'if I am struggling, how am I going to teach an AP class to the students?' So, consequently I am having difficulty sleeping and have a lot of anxiety. I am also the sole-provider of my daughter and if I fail, what then? So, of course this is compounding my anxiety. But, please know that your words meant the word to me - so again, thank you
I look forward to hearing from you soon. I feel like I found a kindred spirit.
moseley777---today was my first day back because we are on modified year-round. just made me think of you and so i wanted to wish you a happy beginning to your school year! You will be fine. FINE !!!
Let me know how it goes and if you have any ? !!! hang in there
Antioch, Thank you so much for the good wishes! I wish I could say my anxiety has lessened, unfortunately I am still struggling to place it all in God's hand - but I am trying.
I will definitely let you know how it goes and appreciate the offer! You have been very kind and supportive - and that helps.
Have a great school year! I will keep you updated.
I am also struggling. Just super depressed and unmotivated. I am stuffing my feelings and issues with food. So sick of being fat and feeling fat and ugly. I've been contemplating taking action but so far can't get past the thinking stage.
School has been great tho. Just staying busy and occupied. I work with great people. So ya I should shut my mouth and be grateful.
I can't wait to hear about your school year. Let me know and don't forget to ask questions/ for help. Ask me anything !
Antioch, I am sorry that you are feeling that way. I wish you could see what I see when I communicate with you. I see an incredibly kind, good, compassionate - with an incredibly beautiful soul- woman. The weight will come off, if you just believe in yourself. And, if you are having difficulties, then lean on those that believe in you - myself for one - until you can stand on your own. If there is anyway I can help or you just feel like talking (or venting), just let me know and I will give you my number.
You have been incredibly generous with your spirit and it made a difference in my life. I just want you to know that.
Have a great day! And, yes I do have a question. Any recommendations for which supplies to purchase? Everyone seems to be coming to school with carts (yikes - for what?).
Oh my goodness I somehow missed your reply until just now and it has made my day. Thank you so so much for the kind words. It feels like no one says nice things like that to me so reading those words felt like a real hug and true validation. I do hear I love you from my husband, parents, children, siblings, and a few friends. But I either don't believe them or I don't think they mean it. They HAVE to say it because we are related. The truth is I do know in my head that I have some valuable qualities but I can't live in them or feel them in my heart. I need to love myself and treat myself with the same concern that I treat you and my kids and my students.
So carts, huh? Are the carts piled with stuff? That's the only thing I can think of carts being needed for As far as supplies, well office supplies like writing utensils, paper, tape, staples...your school should give you a decent amount of supplies to start. Also I hope you have or can learn basic computer skills. You can find so much online. Also a fellow teacher I ffers extra credit for supplies and now has cabinets full of stuff.
I am still excited to hear how it goes for you. Your last post sounded strong. Maybe your anxiety is lessening a bit? Or maybe reaching out a helping hand to me has made you feel stronger? I am a big believer in the benefits of being of service to others.
There is a support group I can go to for help. Maybe I will get off
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Feeling worthless 
Very sad and feeling darkness
Feeling lifeless
Feeling sad cos my decisions
