Feeling Low + Stressed

Hello y’all!

I was feeling pretty good the last few weeks, and today I think I put too much on my plate. Job hunting online, while also trying to lay low and just work on myself. Got an email from an old high school teacher who wanted me to come in and help his kids (music related) but I have been actively letting go of that part of myself due to trauma I experienced years ago. Not doing music things and doing new things has helped me in the now. It’s an opportunity to help kids outside of myself, but I am not in a position right not mentally or emotionally to do something like that right now. I don’t even want to revisit that part of myself. And a lot of shame and depression is hitting me right now. Like I should be jumping to help, but I don’t want to reopen wounds. When I don’t think about it, when I let go of it, life is easier. It was a part of me that isn’t me anymore. I’m not a musician anymore, and it’s one experience someone is asking me to be a part of, but I feel lower than dirt right now. I think it’s time to actively seek therapy again. This is too much. I wish that I was more confident and reassured in myself, but I am not in that capacity right now.

[Agora1]

anxiousbuthopeful1, we all get to that point in the road where we feel the tug as to which way to go with our lives. I think therapy at this time would be helpful in reducing your stress, working on the issues that brought you to this point as well as finding answers how to proceed forward. You know what you need to do for yourself. Good Luck xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Thanks Agora! Appreciate the support. Early I just sat in the library crying. Not sobbing, but just like quietly crying and it was so liberating. I normally get embarrassed, but it like a safe place to

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

I no longer get embarrassed when I cry. For me it is a release. Our emotions are

so strong at times that we feel as if we will explode. Think of it as being a volcano when the center core builds so much, it over spills. When it's over, all is calm again.

Hope you can relax some now when you get home. xx

[Hidden]

Thanks Angora. I don’t mind crying alone when no one is around. But in public I normally feel so exposed. Going to have some tea later and read a book I think

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Sounds good to me

Breathe xx