Feeling worthless

[Moonpie-50]

I’m feeling so depressed today. I wonder why I’m even here. All I do is feel pain. I’m normally a strong person who tries to think on the bright side but it just isn’t working lately. This time of year is rough anyways and I’m adjusting to new meds. I feel like I’m on a roller coaster ride of moods (I’m bipolar 1). I’ve been out of work due to all of this and my doctor doesn’t think I’m ready to return to work for awhile and I just feel so worthless. Is anyone else going through this??? Please reach out. I feel so alone

[gajh]

You are not alone. You are here with all of us. You said you are adjusting to new meds. Remember those can take a while to start working. Hang in there. Do you agree with your doctor that you aren't ready to return to work, or do you think you are ready?

[barlock in reply to gajh]

dont work. retired and pretty much house bound. getty out is a panic attack

[gajh in reply to barlock]

It is very, very difficult being house bound. Do you have a therapist?

[Moonpie-50 in reply to gajh]

yes and she agrees with my doctor about returning to work. They both say that I need this time to adjust to meds and work on some things. I was always used to working.

[Moonpie-50 in reply to gajh]

Sometimes I do and then other times I fear that I’ll have another meltdown. I’m also seeing a therapist and she agrees with my doctor about taking more time.

[gajh in reply to Moonpie-50]

I am so glad to hear that you have a therapist. If both your doctor and your therapist support you being out of work, you should try to be gentle with yourself. You are certainly not worthless because you don't work. You are far from the only one. Besides you do have a job right now. That job is taking care of yourself. If this time of year is rough because of the holidays, please know that you can spend your time here with us on Christmas day. I will be here a bit during the day and then I will be here for hours at night. I know that other people are going to be here all day. You don't have to get through the day on your own. There will be people here for support.

[Moonpie-50 in reply to gajh]

Thank you ❤️

[Midori]

Hi Moonpie,

Welcome to the Community! New meds just before the Hols can be miserable.

My son is similar, as he's recently been diagnosed with diabetes. He is not looking forward to not being able to eat and drink his usual things, and I'm tearing out my hair trying to find sugar free (or low sugar) substitutes for him.

It's going to be an Experimental Christmas!

Cheers, Midori

[MaggieSylvie]

You are not worthless. Your doctor has observed that you need to rest and has signed you off from work for a while. This is valuable time when you can take stock of the positive things in your life and make some decisiions about your work situation. More importantly, take some time out to rest. Come on. Your doctor is on your side and is giving you what you need. Most of us are chasing our tails. The downside of taking time out is that you may not want to return to work!

[Oshunlvr]

I know exactly how you feel and I'm sorry that you are feeling that pain. You get tired of putting on a brave face. You can have the best family or friends near you but still feel alone. I don't have any advice, just want to let you know that you are not alone here..

[SameTimeTomorrow7]

Perhaps you've lost sight of what's good about you. Take an inventory of the positive things in your life: your talents, your friends, things that can give you a boost every now and then. You're doing the right thing by looking on the bright side of life, what I would call positive thinking. Check out a book by Norman Vincent Peale titled "The Power of Positive Thinking." I read it many years ago and sometimes re-read parts of it. That book changed my life. I hope it helps with yours.

[Oshunlvr in reply to SameTimeTomorrow7]

Taking inventory put me back in my dark place again. I've been so positive and a cheerleader to others for as long as I can remember. I don't choose friends well. I'm the one who calls, sets up plans and volunteers to help. About every 15 years or so I stop doing all of the work and they just stop hanging out with me. It's easier not to have friends anymore. I couldn't have children so I don't have that. My only sibling told me this year that my illness is too exhausting for her. Funny thing is I rarely talk about it because I'm busy hiding it.So your advice was well meaning but doesn't fit for me. I have nothing to good or positive about me.

[mizzou7016]

You are working on quite a few adjustments.....combine that with the fact that it is the holiday season.....man that's tough. give the meds time to work....you can do anything you set your mind to....you've got this...hopefully you will be able to work again soon....in the meantime just work on things you have control over

[Moonpie-50]

Just now tonight I’m feeling the same way. I’ve been praying and praying asking forgiveness for what I’ve done to deserve this..I feel like I don’t measure up and everyone around me is having positive experiences in their lives and here I am struggling day to day trying to think positive. I had a breakdown on Christmas Eve and have been crying since.