I finally went to the psychiatrist today and wasn't feeling well at all. I had a lot on my mind and was completely overwhelmed. My blood pressure was high, even though I take medication to control it. I also would not talk much, but my psychiatrist knew right away that something was wrong. She kept on asking questions about how I was thinking and feeling. When I finally told her, she asked me how long I have been this way. She also said that she was really concerned for me and told me to continue going to counseling once a week (which is difficult considering that the new therapist doesn't have availability and I don't see her for another two weeks). My psychiatrist asked me when I am going to see my primary next, since I am in the process of switching and she wants me to call her next week to check in with her. I have been taking Cymbalta 60 mg each day, Diazepam for anxiety as needed (I need it more often than I have been taking it considering I can't take it at work) and Mirtazapine for sleeping as needed. She increased my Cymbalta to 90 mg and gave me something else for sleeping that I can take without feeling "hungover" from the drug the next day. I definitely need to pick up the prescriptions later on today. I made an appointment to see her next month.
On another note, yesterday I got reprimanded by my co-teacher because when I left work early on Thursday to go to my appointment, (which was during nap time and she was on break) the classroom was a mess. Hello?!! I was trying to get a child to sleep and needed to leave to go to this appointment. The other employee who was there with me was playing on her phone the whole time (even though we were told not to by our supervisors or else we will get written up). What an empty threat that is! I always see people playing with/talking on their phones in their classrooms instead of tending to the children. I never play with my phone during work hours and I am always attentive to my children. Then, another employee comes in and starts chatting away non stop to her and doesn't even ask me to help clean up. Why am I the one getting reprimanded all of the time?!!!! I go above and beyond in my job and I take it very seriously. When I see other employees not doing their jobs (which happens daily) and they don't even get in trouble, it aggravates me.