I finally went to the psychiatrist today and wasn't feeling well at all. I had a lot on my mind and was completely overwhelmed. My blood pressure was high, even though I take medication to control it. I also would not talk much, but my psychiatrist knew right away that something was wrong. She kept on asking questions about how I was thinking and feeling. When I finally told her, she asked me how long I have been this way. She also said that she was really concerned for me and told me to continue going to counseling once a week (which is difficult considering that the new therapist doesn't have availability and I don't see her for another two weeks). My psychiatrist asked me when I am going to see my primary next, since I am in the process of switching and she wants me to call her next week to check in with her. I have been taking Cymbalta 60 mg each day, Diazepam for anxiety as needed (I need it more often than I have been taking it considering I can't take it at work) and Mirtazapine for sleeping as needed. She increased my Cymbalta to 90 mg and gave me something else for sleeping that I can take without feeling "hungover" from the drug the next day. I definitely need to pick up the prescriptions later on today. I made an appointment to see her next month.
On another note, yesterday I got reprimanded by my co-teacher because when I left work early on Thursday to go to my appointment, (which was during nap time and she was on break) the classroom was a mess. Hello?!! I was trying to get a child to sleep and needed to leave to go to this appointment. The other employee who was there with me was playing on her phone the whole time (even though we were told not to by our supervisors or else we will get written up). What an empty threat that is! I always see people playing with/talking on their phones in their classrooms instead of tending to the children. I never play with my phone during work hours and I am always attentive to my children. Then, another employee comes in and starts chatting away non stop to her and doesn't even ask me to help clean up. Why am I the one getting reprimanded all of the time?!!!! I go above and beyond in my job and I take it very seriously. When I see other employees not doing their jobs (which happens daily) and they don't even get in trouble, it aggravates me.
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Kakee83
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I so understand your frustration about other employees not working but playing on their phones while you work! It's not at all fair, is it? And you might have to write up these other employees and you don't want to do that, do you?
Your psychiatrist is concerned for you so this must be important. But you have to work and your counselor doesn't seem to have enough openings for you. You need to schedule appointments way out many weeks ahead of time or you won't get in to see her/him. It sounds like your psych doc is doing a good job for you. I hope your counselor is, too.
Thanks for your reply to my post, Bonnie Sue. These employees definitely deserve to get written up. Not only is it very unprofessional for employees talking on /playing with their cellphones when they are supposed to watch the children but also these children in the classroom could be put in danger from the ignorance of the employees. I wish that I could snich on them, but that would create a whole new set of problems. I am barely holding on to this job as it is.
My psychiatrist does really care about my well being and I am glad to have her in my life.
I am going to change therapists. I have to for my sake. Things are getting bad again. If she is not available to meet with me, then I need to go to some one else who will be available.
I see the wisdom in what you're saying. I guess you will be ahead if you change therapists, but you'll be starting over again and I wish you didn't have to. I'm the one dragging her feet over this and you're the one making the sensible decision! You're also the only one who knows whether it's wise to report other employees who play with their phones when they should be watching the children. You have to do what you think you must do (or should I say not do?)
I'm glad you're confident that your psyche doctor has your best interests at heart. That's important. I hope you get a great therapist!
Thanks for your advice and support, BonnieSue. I definitely see your point and I wish that I didn't change therapists in the first place. I only saw this current therapist 3 times since I changed in February due to the other therapist that I have seen for over a year going on maternity leave, so there really isn't any relationship formed with her. It's difficult to open up period, let alone to a professional who sees me every three weeks. I told the therapist that I saw for more than a year things that I never told anyone. Not even my husband. It took me a while to open up to her. I was told before I switched by her that I needed someone who could see me on a weekly basis and since she was going on maternity leave, it was best to transfer me. Since I am unable to see this other therapist that I was transferred to on a weekly basis because of her availability, there is no point continuing with her.
It was a pretty bad session with my psychiatrist and she was very concerned about my behavior. I will follow what she told me about her recommendation that I see a therapist once a week, because I really don't want to be hospitalized again. Things have been really going downhill and I don't want to get to that point.
Right, we don't want to get to that point at all. Do what you have to do to avoid that hospitalization since your psychiatrist is in favor of you staying out.
Sorry that happened. It sure is tough when nepotism prevails on the job. The good news is that you have a job, but you are dealing with other issues as well and it sounds like your health is also at risk. Is it possible to consider switching jobs? I know they are hard to come by- but maybe something else is out there for you as well. It sounds like you are a hard worker who is good at the job. I also wanted to give you a warm line number that has been
helpful to me as well: NYC Well- 1-888-692-9355. You can talk to a counselor or a peer. I chose the peer.
I last saw my psychiatrist in April and I have an appointment to see her at the end of June.
I was prescribed medication to control my stress level and these crying spell, in additiin to what I take on a daily basis. My psychiatrist told me to take this medication every day also until I could get the uncontrollable crying and unbearable stress/anxiety under control. Unfortunately, the site director and HR confronted me about this because they noticed me spacing out. So, I stopped taking it before going to work. It seems that I can't win.
I also see a new PCP and a new therapist that I switched to in May later on this month.
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