Psychiatrist appointment

[Meli1992]

So, it took me 3 weeks to finally see a psychiatrist. I have already attended 3 psychologist sessions and 4 yoga sessions. The long wait finally ended today and I felt relieve to finally get medication. The appointment was at 9am but they didn't see me until 10:30am and I came in at 8am, which is something that annoys me about most doctors appointment, they never see you at the time you requested.

When I finally got to see the psychiatrist, I soon realized that I did not like her very much. This might be a little bit upsetting for some but over the last few years I have lost my faith in God due to my traumatic experiences throughout my life. I have seen more pain and suffering than happiness. I have met too many people throughout my life who have had such terrible childhood that made me question my faith.

It is not to say that I am angry at God but I have lost my belief in one. It has not made me sad or anything. This is just another stage in my life where I am discovering who I am.

The psychiatrist asked me if I believe in a religion and I told her no. She gave a very judgemental look and if she was trying to hide it, she failed miserably. Soon gave me an almost 30 minutes long lecture on the importance of God and why I should believe in it. She also went on to say that I should be happy to live in a progressive place like the U.S and not the jungle where I came from which is Peru. The religion lecture did not offend me as much as how she talked about my birthplace as less.

I would like to call myself open minded and I do respect that other people have religious views and I would never try to lecture them on athiesm. I would have liked the same respect from a professional. She also basically told me that there is no hope in my recovery since I don't believe in anything greater than myself.

I apologise in advance if my lack of faith offends some. I still live by a moral compass. I just haven't had the Devine intervention some people have.

I also gave my doctor an address to the nearest pharmacist to see if she can send my prescription there electronically. She gave me a bad attitude and told me that she has no time for that. I am afraid that I offended her with my views.

I am considering changing psychiatrist but not sure yet. My sister was mad with her behavior and urged me to look for another psychiatrist. The issues is that it was so hard to find this psychiatrist because my health insurance is bad and not many doctors accept it. Most of the doctors listed have bad reviews. One doctor had a couple of reviews where patient commented that he was prejudice towards people that wore sweaters and called them criminals to their face. Another review was about a mother who had a son dealing with depression and the doctor treated him like trash and offered no help and her son left the office feeling suicidal and hopeless. It sucks because my insurance doesn't offer good doctors and I can't afford better insurance. I am already paying to see a psychologist out of pocket because all the psychologist on my insurance weren't accepting new patients.

To those the read the whole thing, thank you for listening to my rants and I apologise again if some got offended. It is not my intention.

[Lyn842]

How you were treated was so wrong. Was the place you went to in any way referred to Christian based? To turn her personal beliefs onto you was so unprofessional, not to mention all the other things she said. I do understand the frustration with insurance and having limited choices. Are you going by a directory the insurance gave you? If so, I suggest you call your ins co because the directories are not always up to date. I have called Drs in the directory only to find out they no longer take it. Just the opposite has happened also, they had other Drs names not in the directory. Its worth a shot. If she gave you a presc for meds, go ahead and start them. Then look around. Some Drs will go by a sliding scale. Call around. I know it takes a lot of effort on your behalf. I'm so sorry for this trouble. Like you need more aggravation! Let me know how it goes.

[Meli1992 in reply to Lyn842]

No it is a federal behavioral clinic. I called my insurance company and unfortunately these were the psychiatrists they had. They did tell me to call again if I needed more. I'll call again later today and see if I can find a better psychiatrist. The lady just caught me by surprise because I did not do anything to hurt her feelings. She also went on to tell me that the reason why I lost my faith is because I did not go to church enough lol.

It made me feel uncomfortable since 1. I use to go to church every Sunday for years, 2. I had a religion teacher who would gave me classes 3 times a week and 3. I was the most religious person in my family. I didn't lost my faith in one go, it was years and years of physical and emotional abuse that made me questioned it.

I also volunteered at nursing homes and cancer clinics and the stories I would hear from the patients would break my heart.

[Lostandbroken]

Finding someone to talk to that youre comfortable with is hard, I am currently in the process of finding one myself; however based off of what you have said I personally would try looking for someone else to talk to. I don't think it was very processional of her to rant at you about your beliefs. Everyone is raised differently some believe some don't or some do and it changes vice versa. It was not her place to do that to you at all especially when you went to seek help for yourself. I've been one recently to test my faith my beliefs have changed due my experiences as well and it happens. You're not in the wrong to think differently but personally if it were me and I was paying out of pocket I would rather have someone I liked and that listened to me rather than someone that is judgemental.. You deserve wayyyy better!

[Meli1992 in reply to Lostandbroken]

I hope you find a good one to talk to. Nowadays it seems hard to find one who actually cares. My beliefs changed little by little. I am very curious and I like testing my own beliefs. I think it is important to discover yourself without having people telling you what to believe in. Athiesm does not make you a bad person. There is good and bad in every beliefs but I feel like there is more stigma towards athiesm.

I am still young and just started finding my way. My mom tried manipulating me alot with religion throughout my life and it did alot of harm.

[Lostandbroken in reply to Meli1992]

There's nothing wrong with that, you're figuring yourself out and that all you really can do right now. There are things we need to figure out alone and that is one most everyone starts figuring out once they move out or surpass the age of " being an adult" I'm only 21 I understand.

[Meli1992 in reply to Lostandbroken]

I am almost 26 and I feel like a child because my parents controlled every aspect of my life, the way I dressed, my opinions, my friends and curfews. I wasn't allowed to think for myself. Right I am learning who I am without my parents. I am figuring out my identity.

[Stilltrying_]

Her attitude was absolutely awful and unforgiveable though I understand how it must be with you with the health insurance etc. It is all wrong. It is awful the way she insulted your birthplace (Peru) and tried to make light of your problems or suggest that other people elsewhere had problems worse than yours. Believe me I know what it is like to suffer with depression and mental health problems and it is the worst because people believe we can just change our attitude and we can change but we can't change our attitude because we are damaged by what other (nasty) people have done to us.

This is a free forum and i suggest you keep writing on here and hopefully people will listen and respond. I still get frustrated with the lack of continuity on forums like this. People tend to post once and then not much after. I don't really understand why as if we all stayed around we could all support each other.

I don't have any words of wisdom for you except to say i understand that you are in pain like so many others on here and it is so hard for us to get the help we need and deserve. I don't believe in a God either; you are right; too much has gone wrong for that. How could anyone in their right mind believe anyway?( I know it helps some to have "a faith" but it all seems ridiculous to me when you look at the way of the world. Prayers are not answered I'm afraid. It's everyone for themselves and you have to stick up for yourself and the nice people will support you. There ARE nice people in the world many of whom are on sites like these. Not much nastiness amongst us sufferers. Sending positive vibes from the UK xxxx Gemma x

[Meli1992 in reply to Stilltrying_]

Thank you for your kind words Gemma I appreciate it. The doctor prescribed me Venlafaxine. I searched that medication online and it seems like it does more harm than good. I read so many bad reviews that scared me. I don't think I'll be taking it. The withdrawal symptoms are awful.

[Lyn842]

I am so sorry to hear that a few of you seem to have lost your faith in God. I would never put you down for it or shove it down your throats like that so called Dr did. She's damaging any chance that your faith could be restored. I have Faith in God. God gave us humans free will. We can choose right or wrong and unfortunately many have chosen evil over good. The world is such a mess. I wish I could say it will get better but the Bible teaches it will get worse! But the good news is good Will conquer. I don't want to sound like a fanatic and please don't be offended. Man is at fault, not God. When God has had enough of the evil this world will change big time. So much more I could go into but I have to stop. God loves us and those that have made our world a scary evil place will be judged. Its getting harder and harder to find the good in this world but take heart. God is just and justice will be served. We are all seeking love and God is waiting for as many as possible will turn to Him.

[Meli1992 in reply to Lyn842]

Thank you for the kind words and I can understand your point of view. The doctor was rude and I won't be seeing her again. I am sure not all religious people are like that. You haven't offended me since I know you have good intentions.