I need someone

[MNS_04]

So I know my last post was about feeling alone... but I feel even worse. I still haven't told my parents about the depression, but I really don't think that's the problem. The problem is that nobody cares if I am here or not (except parents, they don't count). I just want to fit in and be like everyone else. I have sent out calls for help and every time I do, my "friends" tell me that I am just asking for attention or that I am being too sad. I know they aren't real friends if they are treating me like this, but it's all I have, although I think I rather just be alone because that's what I am now. I deleted all of my social media and hope to take a break for a while because there is also some cyber-bullying happening to me. I just want it to stop. I just want my life to stop, but I'm too scared to end it. I need someone to be there and to listen and to understand and not judge me. None of them care. In fact, about a month ago I told one of my friends that I wanted to kill myself. She didn't even respond. She left me on read and just pretended like it never happened. I just want to end it and prove to them that they should have listened. They shouldn't have bullied me or told me it was for attention, but I can't do that to my parents. Just needing some support and reassurance tonight

Thanks

[Dewdropsxx]

I know how you feel. I think your friend didn't react because that saying is going around so much, in ever class people say kms just because they forgot a pencil so no one is taking it seriously. I totally feel like you. I separated myself from all my close friends a while back, bc my depression just kind of clammed me up and I didn't want to talk or be around anyone and they all kind of just left then I got more depressed because no one would notice me if I was gone, no ones life revolved around me. I was insignificant and meaningless, or so I thought. That is not the case, there are always people who are affected by you daily and you just don't see it. And you don't truthfully want to end your life, but you want to kill the depression and the struggles of your life. I mean imagine the perfect life that you always wish you could have, one where you didn't have this dark cloud always having on your shoulder and you didn't have to feel empty at night just staring into nothing, but a life full of smiles and all your favorite things. Imagine that. You don't want to die but you want the current you to die. So just imagine you as the you, you want to be, and live for that you. It's not a fantasy, you can achieve that dream life you want. Just hold on😋😇 message me whenever you like

[Hidden]

Hi I have been through the 'No one cares about me so I will show them they should have listened and been there for me' And the 'It will serve them right when I kill myself' ' in my younger days. I accept you have genuine problems but trying to get help using this tactic is counter productive and will have the opposite effect as you have found.

The grown up way to get help is to talk to those who love you ie your parents and to see a doctor. You are not asking for help in the right places. I imagine your friends don't respond because they don't know how to and are embarrassed. If you are not careful they will start to avoid you as you are making them uncomfortable. Imagine if the boot was on the other foot? Imagine if you weren't suffering from depression and a friend kept asking you for continual proof of their caring. How would you respond? Would you know how to help them and what to say. No of course you wouldn't. You would probably avoid them as everyone has problems and you would just want to enjoy life without someone continually dragging you down. I guess that's how your friends feel. You are clearly dragging them down and no one wants a friend like that do they?

Also too continual concentrating on how you feel is feeding your illness. You haven't got to keep talking about it and this makes you feel worse.

I find when I am feeling bad, going out with my friends and looking outward rather than inwards means I often enjoy myself and feel better about myself and life without dragging others down.

Seek help from your loved ones and your doctor.

[Vamy76]

I can say I know how you feel. It's hard to accept that the ones you want to hear your cry for help, don't react. I've been there and it's hell! I've cried myself to sleep many times from unanswered texts and calls. You just have to keep moving forward. One step at a time. Start a journal. If you feel the need to cry out, write it down. Don't ask for atttention from the same people who ignore you when you need them the most. I've realized that venting to those people just push them further away. Journaling helps. It puts your feelings in a place that no one can use them against you. No one can tell you it's a cry for attention or that you're "crazy". Sometimes people can't help you because they don't know how and/or they don't care. Have faith hun that things will get better. The storm will pass eventually. Try to stay off social media. I've accredited this to 80% of my problem and the other portion to getting involved with a narcissist. Killing yourself will only hurt those who love you. Not those people that can't reach out to hold you when you need it. Life will go on for them. Don't let anyone steal your life!

[Sweetsoul36]

You have us!

[huskytendo14]

Please please please talk with your parents, or call a suicide hotline. Seeing a psychologist or even your family doctor could be a really great thing for you. It's unfortunate that our society is moving towards constant cyber bullying and always waiting for that text back...it's awful. I think that staying off social media for a while is a great idea. I completely agree with dewdrops that there are more people that love and care about you than you know. You never know whose day you're making just by smiling at them. Forums such as these are wonderful resources because you really aren't alone. There is ALWAYS someone to talk to and listen to you. Friends don't always know what to do or how to help you, especially if they've never experienced anything like what you're going through. Please remember that you are never alone, you are not broken, you are not weird for feeling the way you do. You are strong and you CAN get through this! Praying for you <3