I have been suffering with depression for years and managed to come off meds.
Then in July last year started again but this time with major panic at tacks total nightmare. Was on citalopram (after many weeks of begging my GP) it made panic attacks worse, then given esticitalopram which did not help but made me gain 2 stone in 8 weeks. Told to stop them side effects were terrible for about 3 weeks. Have not been offered any other meds. I am engaging with talking matters (recovery coach only as waiting list for CBT very long) but not helping.
I am struggling really badly, anxiety is hell on earth and I don't know how much longer I can go on like this, I have sisters but they have been giving me hard time, after telling on sister I was struggling with suicidal thoughts she told me to kill myself in anger. I have no one to talk to no friends I thought my sisters were my friends until now.
Sorry this is so long but I really don't know where to turn, I do have spells of feeling ok then bang back it comes. I am much better but my recovery (if it ever comes) is so slow and I still can't see light at end of tunnel and with no one to talk too I can' go on.
Should I be on medication or try to battle on and is there an end