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Anxiety and Depression Support
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I need someone to talk to

I have been suffering with depression for years and managed to come off meds.

Then in July last year started again but this time with major panic at tacks total nightmare. Was on citalopram (after many weeks of begging my GP) it made panic attacks worse, then given esticitalopram which did not help but made me gain 2 stone in 8 weeks. Told to stop them side effects were terrible for about 3 weeks. Have not been offered any other meds. I am engaging with talking matters (recovery coach only as waiting list for CBT very long) but not helping.

I am struggling really badly, anxiety is hell on earth and I don't know how much longer I can go on like this, I have sisters but they have been giving me hard time, after telling on sister I was struggling with suicidal thoughts she told me to kill myself in anger. I have no one to talk to no friends I thought my sisters were my friends until now.

Sorry this is so long but I really don't know where to turn, I do have spells of feeling ok then bang back it comes. I am much better but my recovery (if it ever comes) is so slow and I still can't see light at end of tunnel and with no one to talk too I can' go on.

Should I be on medication or try to battle on and is there an end

8 Replies

Julia, I get it.But seldon can we find any sympathy from others that have not walked a mile in our shoes. I have been living with same issues for 30 plus years. Everytime I get off my meds I start back up with the same old feelings. I am on Fluoetine right now with Zanax as needed for panic. This seems to be the best mix for me. I have one of the best therapists in the states,. OHSU DR. James Hancey He is in Portland, Oregon but maybe you could get your doctor to contact him for a referral in your area. Look him up.! He is awseome! He does drug therapy. You can give me hit if you just need to talk. Hope this helps...jewels oh you really need a phycatrist that specializesin axiety and panic. Regular GP's rarely get it and hardley ever what to prescibe the drugs we need.

1 like

When you next see your sister just say: "I forgive you." It will make her think.

In order to understand the present we have to go back to the beginning. What was it that has caused your unquiet mind? Too much worry, stress, over-work, loss, disappointment, grief, guilt? You need to fix it if you can or at least reduce the impact on you. Be ruthless if necessary. Seek advice from a wise and trusted person of your acquaintance if need be.

Chances are the original causes of your disquietude are lost and forgotten. But they set in motion a process that has become self perpetuating. Your nerves became sensitised and this caused your bad feelings. These frighten you, what the hell is happening to me? Fear hormones are released and these continue to sensitise your nervous system. This causes more bad feelings causing more fear hormones causing more sensitisation causing more bad feelings. You are caught in a vicious circle - but there is a way out. And although meds have an important part to play in psychiatry, you can recover without them if you so decide.

You can recover through understanding, reassurance and practicing a method of self help that has given thousands back their lives. Note it involves your participation: expecting to recover by doing nothing is not an option.

UNDERSTAND that frightening though your symptoms are anxiety has its limitations. Anxiety alone cannot kill you, cannot disable you, cannot make you lose your mind. The symptoms you suffer are merely your exhausted nerves misfiring. Terrible as a panic attack is it is no more than that.

REASSURANCE comes from understanding that your mind is waiting to heal itself if you will let it. If you will only stop flooding your nerves with fear hormones causing further sensitisation and more bad feelings.

All you have to do is accept your bad feelings when they come and your panic attacks for the time being. Not for ever, just for now. Do not flinch and seek to evade them, you must pass through them. Do not fight them, which might be your natural instinct, for fighting does not cure you - on the contrary it only causes more stress and tension, the last thing you need.

Do not add second fear to the flash of first fear when anxiety strikes, this way you begin to starve your nerves of the fear hormone that causes over-sensitisation. As nervous sensitisation reduces the bad feelings lessen, the panic attacks start to fade. Not today, not even next week maybe, but some time soon.

And all you have to do is to do nothing. Other than utterly accept the symptoms (for the moment) with masterly inactivity.

If you go to YouTube and search for 'Freedom from nervous suffering' by Claire Weekes you can watch and listen to the woman who first devised the Acceptance method for recovery from anxiety and the depression of nerves depleted by exhaustion.

What Doctor Weekes offers is not a magic bullet that will instantly relieve you of your suffering. But a method that with patience and persistence will restore the serenity of your mind and bring recovery - no matter how long or how deeply you have suffered.

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Jeff it might make her sister think! REALLY! She need comfort and help ! Not forgiving people that do not take her feelings seriously! Screw them!


Emphatically yes, that will make her think. Otherwise anything else said is water off a duck's back. Always do the unexpected if you want a result. What would Jesus have done? O.K. so you may not be into him but he was a pretty cool guy. Easy to say 'Screw them!' when it's not your family. If all else fails then remove them from your life.


Please don't listen to your sister!!! Everyone does understand. or want to understand what we go through on a day to day basis... call 911 if you are thinking of harming yourself!!!


Julia, I know these feelings all too well. I'm sorry and willing to chat as necessary. Since you ask about meds vs. battling on, I think both a are reasonable. I had a similar reaction to celexa and other SSRI drugs. I finally found a different med that worked. I am also working on Dr. Weekes method and believe it's worth trying. Since you asked about trying, perhaps you want to give it a try, AlONG WITH meds, talking with us here, and maybe therapy too. It is work, no doubt, but I'm finding it gives me something to focus my energy on, and that's a good thing. Best wishes, honey. Let us know how you're doing.


Feel free to PM me anytime you need to talk! I’m a good listener. I will always be here if you need someone!


Tonight I seem to be sending the same message out -- go for professional help. GP's aren't trained in the area of anxiety/panic disorder.


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