1 I grew up in a religious house and I believe the things I am being taught but I hate when they push religion on me to solve all my problems still for example If my mom knew I cut myself tonight for the first time (I have scratched myself but never actually cut) she would say something like the devil makes me think negative things about myself or something like that
And 2 even though I often like to be alone (or maybe I really don't and I just believe I do) I think maybe I often fight people because it is the only way I feel I can get attention anymore and I do not like to share my friends because I do not like to share the attention. My mom would say that this is not true and there are other ways of getting their attention and that might be true they are good parents but it just kinda makes sense
"A beach at 1st glance may seem like a happy place, but what if you look below the surface"
-By Me
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teen_anxiety
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Your beach picture is what first struck me about your post. I have quite a big one very similar on my sitting room wall.
Your sentence about the beach made me think. Yet I can't think of a beach as anything other than happy.
I think I associate it with happy childhood summer days I spent there with my cousins who were only around in the summers. I lived within walking distance of the beach.
Now I am still pretty near a beach and go there with my dog almost every day. It usually brings me joy and sets me up for the day.
I know well it would not be a happy place for some, yet I am once again struck by the fact you chose that particular beach picture that brings me so much solace
As regards religion I think a little does no harm and can give us guidance, but I am not into hard and fast rules. I draw the positives from it.
I think other humans can make us think negative things about ourselves. I think I am succeeding in building up self-confidence after a very negative year due a lot to support I found on this site as well as doing some online courses I enjoy.
In your sentence about the beach, are you saying you seem happy on the surface, but really are not?
I think parents have a tendency to back themselves on religion when their kids are having a hard time. When I was 9 I was diagnosed with a disease, now I am 22 and it was solved a month ago. After 6 surgeries depresión anxiety and the list goes on… in the past I have been in your position and the only thing I can tell you is you mom tells you that because she loves you and she cannot do anything more than ask to something greater for you to be better and in her mind is God. Thus, the bad the pain the cutting yourself the devil
I would recommend you to read “the energy codes by dr sue morter” it can really help you to get out of having bad/negative feelings and start a happy and enlightening journey with your life!
I've always looked straight out at the ovean. I look to the part I cannot see. That's where all my hopes and dreams lived when I was young. It helped me survive. I knew somewhere out there peace would come.
What's under anything? Even people? Under the surface can be positive or negative. I like your thought in this.
I let religious comments roll off me. I respect everyone's choices but I've made my own. I suppose it depends on how old you are. You can't set the boundaries of conversation if you are young. But you can form your own thought. Parents aren't always right. I am one so know that.
Faith is best not to be thrust down peoples throats, it is always best for the person to make their own choices. You need to talk out your feelings with your Mother, Reigious Faith you wil have your own ideas and associated expectations.
If you are attempting to cut yourself, I personaly have the concern my attempts would over time become more serious so you need t talk out your problems and expectations in Life.
You have been on these sites now for some tile, have you talked to your Doctor.
You need to gain support and understanding
We take our Pax down to the beach nearby, and the air and smell of the air makes the three of us more positive in our outlook, the same applies to walking in a wood, the smell of the trees and fresh air can lift our negative feelings, however I feel worried you seem to relate to the beach as one negative place. Can you explain why this is with you ??
The problem is when we are depressed or low we can feel so alone, even when we are with people we know and love they can pick up on our negative vibes and that then becomes more of a problem. We withdraw from those around us and they in turn can walk away from us and that becomes self fulfilling.
no I have not discussed anything with a doctor because my mom chooses not to leave the room during my checkups and I do not like her reaction to how I feel she saw my scratches once and asked if I was experimenting and she does not like that I am on this site. I just hold myself together on my own.
I think that is the clue...at first glance it may seem like a happy place...the real issue here is your urge to cut. Feeling helpless and out of control of your living situation is just one of the reasons to feel cutting is a way to take back some control and letting out the frustration of the situation. It often can be one of the root issues behind an urge to cut. This is not a healthy way to express anger or frustration as you already know, as this can become an addiction or compulsion and you need to get some outside help. Check online for your area for any youth groups dealing with emotional stuff, but be careful, I had a group tell me I just wasn’t praying enough, that wasn’t helpful. Any school counseling that is confidential and they will help you first, not just turn it over to your parents. Just keep trying, your not alone.
for now the cut is small because I am scared someone will see it so I think I am safe from it becoming anything major for now thanks for the concern though
I hope you know that is always the concern and becomes a whole big thing learning to hide the scares and all the shame around it that follows. All that just adds onto the root issues of why. Please get some help, you are writing asking for it from people here who are not professionals and can only share their own experiences, many of whom are in denial themselves and looking for help as well. You’re not alone, and I'm glad your sharing, but you need un-biased professional guidance to help you understand and heal.
hi teen_anxiety. People are focusing on the self harm implied in your post. That is only a symptom of what is causing the problem. You are feeling trapped I sense by expectations and pressures that don't coincide with how you feel or want to feel. In a very physical sense I totally understand the ocean metaphor. As a child growing up I loved the beach but would never venture in the sea. My imagination saw all sorts of things below the surface and I didn't want to find out what they were. That's why it took till my teens before I ever learnt to swim. None of us ever truly know what another person really thinks or feels. Those with strong empathy may deduce much of another persons intent and sometimes we open up and pour out our real feelings, but that is hard to do and you have to really trust that the person you are telling won't judge you as a result. That's a rare quality in a person, and if you find someone like that keep them close. They are like gold dust. That's why we internalize our stress and it builds until we eventually seek an outlet. Fighting, arguments, anger, self harm, rejection, refusing to do things, whatever route they end in some form of confrontation or conflict. Be gentle with yourself, and as to religion!!! I choose to let others believe what comforts them. I believe in myself and my ability to make choices which meet my needs without affecting others. I live by the guidelines of do unto others as you would wish to be done to. More simply live and let live. Help where needed or wanted but don't interfere unless requested or vital to do so. Good luck with your journey in life.
thanks no matter how late the advice is still helpful and lately I have been thinking about coming back on here to vent so this was inspired and came at the right time.
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