I need someone to talk to

[DistressedPoe]

I feel sort of...lonely ? Again. My anxiety has been down and I feel like i might spiral again because I'm overthinking stuff again and getting scared about the future. I desperately want these 5 months to end.

I cooked in the morning today. Played my fav songs. Had a blast. Though...in the morning the house was completely empty. And my friends were all asleep. I spent time watching videos on YouTube but.. sigh. It just. Felt so lonely. I ended up falling asleep at 1pm. And waking up at 8pm.

I spoke to some friends but...only briefly. Obviously everyone has a life and are busy. Plus, I feel like they're running out of things to talk about too. Or maybe...today was just a busy day. Lmao. All I know is that today everyone seemed busy.

I tried sitting and hanging out with my bros. I felt a little left out there too. Not because they were mean or anything but rather because there was this....gap ? They're only 3&5 years younger but for some reason, I just felt left out from their inside jokes and conversations. Makes sense though, they're in high school with friends while I'm just...alone at home.

I was unable to sleep for these past few weeks but ever since I calmed down my anxiety, I've been feeling very very drowsy. I guess...my body's finally feeling tired after all that agitation. Maybe I've worn it out.

Sigh...I feel sad. What if I can never get past this anxiety ? It still rings a little in my head though now I just brush it off. But what if it comes back ? What if it changes me into someone I don't want to be ?

I'm sad because I feel lonely too. I'm sad because I miss my people. And idk. I feel like... I'd be bothering others too much ? If I kept texting. One of my closest friends is already not replying and it's been 2 weeks not that I blame him. He actually is busy.

[Lost1980]

Hello DistressedPoe. I know how you feel. My two best friends have moved on to do greater things in their lives. They both live more than hundreds of miles away. So I too understand the feelings of loneliness.

But even though those times of loneliness sometimes new people will come into your lives. They will not be the same as your other friends. But they will still be there and a source of comfort. Keep holding on and being there for the people you care about and some will be there for you.

[art62grammie]

Sadness is not so great I know. Loneliness is not great either. As I was Anorexic for forty years. I know depression and loneliness too well. I have recovered from the illness just recently. I was so lonely all those years. I was only existing. I hope that all this will pass soon for you. I wish you the best. You stay strong and hang in there.

[DistressedPoe in reply to art62grammie]

Thank you! I hope you're doing better now !

[vanessi]

I feel the same. Sometimes I'd like to have someone to talk but people is so tired of me. It has been more than a year and I still have breakdowns. Sometimes I think I'm going to live with depression and anxiety forever. I feel so lonely and I feel I cannot count on anyone. The things I love doing I don't do them anymore cos it makes me feel sad

If I'm on the couch it makes me feel sad. How small and stupid things can affect so much to someone.

[DistressedPoe in reply to vanessi]

Aw you wanna talk about it ?

[DistressedPoe]

First off, sorry for the late reply. Haven't been on lately.

And yeah I hear you. I'd do anything for anyone and I'd make time if someone said they needed me to. But sometimes ppl I love most can't make time bcs they're very stressed and busy and I get it. So I don't get upset. But I still do feel lonely and while I understand, I just....sigh sometimes maybe they don't care as much as they used to. Maybe it's my brain lying to me who knows.

Then I get apprehensive about talking to them about my issues bcs Im afraid they'll be burdened by it.

It's tough.