Somebody would maybe say it's postnatal depression(had a baby 4 months ago)but I don't know because I honestly can't remember in my life where I felt"normal"for two days in a row. It seems it's always been Monday-good, Tuesday-bad, Wednesday-good etc. Hormone birth control made me more emotional, I'm quitting it. I don't want antidepressants and I'm getting ready to go to first therapy app but have no clue what to say why I came to therapy or what's the problem.
At the moment husband and I are struggling with infidelity issues and after discovery we left everything in the air, which as you may assume wasn't really what I wanted. So that's the first thing, second are my suicidal feelings. If there weren't for my son, I would possibly make an attempt by now, but those thoughts are not as new. And lastly I'm scared I might become agressive toward my son in those irritable moments. I don't want to hurt him, yell at him or slap him(I haven't)but it seems I can't control my anger and I feel like I shouldn't be angry at all at him, especially since he's a baby. It all feels too much at once and I have a huge feeling of inadequacy.