I don't think I could possibly feel anymore depressed or sucidial right now. My husband just told me he hates me, he doesn't care about my feelings because he doesn't love me. And he only married me for our son. I just don't think I could feel any worse. Whenever we fight he always says the most hurtful things but all this at once, my body can't handle this right now. I'm mentally drained , I want so hard to have the perfect family. I want my husband to love me more than anything. But I know he doesn't , he tells me all the time the truth comes out when he's mad. This all started over something ridiculous . I opened a small tub of play dough for my son (non toxic play dough) and after having a wonderful morning playing outside with my son. My husband woke up and I immediately got tense and nervous. He then sees the open play dough and asks " where you even watching him?". This made me angry , sad actually because of course I was watching him. I try so hard to be a good mother and he always seems to find a way to put me down. Sometimes I get sick of it and stick up for myself. He knows I'm having some mental health issues right now , depression and anxiety . And it seems like whenever he's mad at me he always throws the "your crazy" card at me . But I guess it's because he doesn't love me like he said and doesn't care about my feelings. I just feel so lost and alone. I locked myself in my bathroom after I put my son to sleep and I just feel so physically and mentally sick. I want to throw up, cry, and huddle into a ball and call my mom and tell her everything and have her come save me. But I would never tell her these things because it's super embarrassing . I just feel so helpless and hopeless. I have no job and I depend financially on my husband and I only went to high school no college. I can't just walk out and leave. And I still love him despite everything , and I'm mad at myself for how weak I am.