Just wanting to vent...

[ellybelle03]

It is so tiring to fight every day to stay above water. It is tiring taking loads of medication that only sometimes work, and other times don't help at all. Its tiring eating right, exercising, and doing self care, just to have it lead to depression. I'm very tired, I don't want to do this anymore. My husband and kiddos deserve so much better. This isn't a life, its just feels like a constant struggle. And I refuse to believe that we were put on this earth to constantly struggle. Looking for a way out...

[Interstellar2017]

I hear you, same situation. Have you tried self help books and positive affirmations? When I first started doing this it helped a lot but after time it started to lose its effect since I have this issue with things getting old... meditation and eating Whole Foods are a way to keep you balanced for a good base to start off with. Any passions that you may have lost in the past that you could somehow get back into? Just thought I would throw some ideas out there for you..

[ellybelle03 in reply to Interstellar2017]

Thank you for your kind words, encouragement and support. I really appreciate it.

I have tried everything suggested, prescribed or that I could think of. I so desperately want to be happy. I think this week is just a hard week, I am spent...

[BonnieSue]

How is your depression being treated? Because it's not being treated enough. You need to address that situation now. Now! You're basically saying you're exhausted from your depression. Your depression has won. Your meds aren't working if you have meds. Do you have a doctor you can call? This MUST be addressed. Are you getting enough sleep? Do you have sleep apnea? Have you been treated for it? What else have I missed?

Please take a few minutes to think over your health to realize that you aren't okay. What have we missed besides your depression and possible sleep apnea? Are you deficient in any vitamin? Have you been tested for hypothyroidism? These are very possible. Has your GP tested you for these? Has any Dr. tested you for these? These are all realistic possibilities for your exhaustion. Please take a few minutes to consider these and make an app't. if you need to to rule out any of these possibilities for your exhaustion. Take care of you!

[ellybelle03 in reply to BonnieSue]

Thank you for your suggestions and kindness. At this point, yes my depression has won. I no longer want to participate in life, in fact I could die today and be ok with it.

I have an appointment with my Dr. next week. He doesn't do over the phone calls or anything of that sort. So I'll have to save these questions for him next week. Thank you again so much for listening, supporting, and offering great advice. I truly appreciate it. Love & Light

[BonnieSue in reply to ellybelle03]

You're very welcome; I just hope you get some solid answers and a direction to move in that's helpful to you. Will you please let us know what you learn? Then we can tell you if we've been through anything similar and how it did or didn't work out. You don't have to go it alone!

[ellybelle03 in reply to BonnieSue]

Ok so what I learned...my hormone levels are fine, I am only calcium deficient and my thyroid is fine. So next on the list is a test for sleep apnea, I'll let you know how that goes. Thank you again for all your helpful suggestions. Happy Friday!~

[TAPNewEngland]

If you haven't done so, look for something positive every day. Try volunteering as this can lead to opportunities to do some good and be very appreciated. Staying busy and being in the right environment can really help. You may be up for a change in your routine too. Take breaks from eating right, exercising, etc. I do the same things as you and I go crazy if I don't break up my routine.

[Meggspeggs]

Hi. I found you under the section of "finding others close to you." I am in Northern California. We sound very similar. I'm a 36 year old mom fighting severe anxiety and depression. I'm so tired of fighting too. Reach out to me if you would like. I would love to have someone to talk to who understands.

[Hidden]

Just to put that out there Meg's & Elle we actually are quite close to eachother I also am in NorCal. Of course we want anonymity but it lets you know who is near you & you both were 78 & 5 miles from me, being Elle. I am not advocating in person meetings but it's comforting to know there are woman close by & I also share your situations I am a mother suffer from many ailments physical & mental & have for years there's way more to the story how I got to this place, but just know I relate, I get it completely am here if you ever want to reach out & talk. Life is hard but we must find a way to conquer this . Best to you both

[ellybelle03 in reply to Hidden]

I agree Pennygirl 52, it is nice to know that there are others close by. I can't believe we are 5 miles apart! We might even already know each other. Love to here from you more often.

Agreed we must find a way to conquer this, living this way is no way to live. Love & Light

[Hidden]

We might & that's a little scary, lol. I would be more than happy to always be an ear for you

I'm glad you are open to communication, apart from weekly counseling I am not from here so I could have seen you in passing & might recognize you

If we met. Otherwise it's pretty unlikely we know eachother personally, as I'm a loner, & don't have any close friends, just day to day acquaintances, (trust issues) (betrayals, residual hurt from so-called "friends"), but I'm more than open to being your friend. Nice to meet you & good to know you & here's to many more interactions 😀

[Hidden]

We could be great support for eachother as well as in networking. I have yet to find a psychiatrist up here & drive to a major city for my care. I see a local counselor but

My Rheumy won't prescribe my anti anxiety after this refill is finished so I'm going to be hurting. It is very hard to find a psychiatrist here. Anything I can ever help you with, just let me know. 😀 Xx

Read your former post

I hope you're feeling better today

You do matter so much & you are an asset to this world always remember that.

There maybe times when you don't love yourself or even like yourself very much, but you are everything to some people. If I read correctly you have 3 kids. You are their life, reason to have hope & face the day. I lost my mom before 20 a horrible tragedy. I miss her everyday. A mother's love is everything❤️

Much Love Xx

[Hidden]

I'm also on your town 👍🏼

[Hidden]

In your town, lol

[ellybelle03]

Unfortunately I am not sure if the one on Breslauer is good. I go to Therapeutic Solutions in Chico, only place that will take my insurance. Have to say so far I'm not impressed w/the one in Chico. I was getting farther with my family doctor. My family doctor highly recommends the one off Hartnell Ave. I'd give them a try if I were you. Good luck!

[Hidden]

Feeling the same way right now. It's exhausting. I think in talking about it, getting it out, maybe it will help lessen the intensity. What I have been trying to do is separate myself from it as much as I can, realizing this is not who I am, its my illness. And creating some space for my head to not identify with it so strongly. But yes I hear you, exactly how I'm feeling in this moment. Just frustrated and like ENOUGH already