I'm new to this site and not sure how it works, but i guess ill vent for a second. im not the type to talk to anyone about this. I'm surprised to find myself here actually. I use to be suicidal and self harm and i had a few attempts and spent some time in a psychiatric hospital when i was young. I got through it. Now 10 years later, self harming again. Having thoughts of suicide every single day. Its to the point i want to do it so bad but my mom is the only thing stopping me. Its hard... because i just want to go. I'm done with this life. But I'm trying to be strong for her. And for the very few people who actually care. At my age self harming seems so silly. Because i use to do it in highschool and i grew out of it and thought how young and dumb i was. But here i am. Doing it again. I guess its the need to feel something. I'm all cried out. There are no tears, no smiles. No nothing. I feel nothing. And harming myself lets me feel something. Even if its pain i need... something... idk..
I normally write in my journal or read a good book to help me cope. But latley it just isn't working. I'm trying to be strong..