I just need to vent, any helpful advice? - Anxiety and Depre...

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I just need to vent, any helpful advice?

IcanIwill profile image
13 Replies

Hi everyone,

I decided to join an online support group because I'm still too shy to talk about my feelings in person. The reason i joined is because for the past several months I have been in a state of anxiety and depression and have always tried to brush it under the rug thinking i can easily get through this. But I can't and right now the anxiety is hitting so hard.

To give some background info on myself, Im a female, 23 years old and have recently been kicked out of my nursing program. I failed by 2% and it pains me to think about that. That's where all my trauma anxiety etc. all began. This was in april of this year. I feel like a failure. Every single one of my friends has graduated college or are starting programs and here I am beginning from square one. Not to mention I am working a really crap job and my coworkers are mostly high school students. I try not to let all this get to me, but some days it's just really difficult and I break down. I don't know anyone else who is in my position and I don't like talking about this with people because they will never understand even though I know they try to. I feel like a disappointment. I am trying to better myself even though I know starting from square one will be hard I can push through. It's those days where I want to give up that make me rethink everything in my life. Today was a bad day and I just want to stop crying about my situation. I wish it wasn't like this, but I know I just need to dig deep down to get the strength I need.

God bless

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IcanIwill profile image
IcanIwill
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13 Replies
Stilltrying_ profile image
Stilltrying_

Ah bless you; you know something ? Another way to look at your results is that you nearly passed! Failing by 2% is nearly a pass in my book! I struggled for years and years and years trying to master British sign language (I am in the UK and it is the language that many Deaf people here use). It took me longer than anyone else to learn and the first time I took my level 3 exam I failed part of it, by about 2% ! I felt I had given it my all and could do no better. I was so despondent for months, thinking well if that was my best shot then there's no point in taking it again and I hated myself and felt like a total failure. In the end a friend persuaded me to try again. I got lots of training and in the end I passed literally by just obtaining the pass mark, but I passed! I have my certificate to prove it!

I don't know whether it's possible to contact your college for a reconsideration? Or if this is not possible could you think of doing something similar to what you wanted to do before but just a slightly different course?

Please don't give up hope. It sounds like you did pretty well in your exams even though it was a marginal fail that still means you know a lot. Keep you head high no matter what, even if you are having to mix with high school students in your job. Be proud of you, and if you can ,like I said try and have another go at your chosen profession. Write a passionate letter to your college saying how much you want to do this and are willing to give 110% effort should they give you another chance.

Hope this helps,

Gemma x

IcanIwill profile image
IcanIwill in reply to Stilltrying_

Thank you for such a thoughtful reply. I seriously burst into happy tears this time around because I didn't expect anyone to respond to my post. That's awesome you got your certificate!

Unfortunately for me, the school wouldn't allow me back in but I'm looking towards other places to apply so fingers crossed until I receive another acceptance.

best wishes

sallyann94 profile image
sallyann94

Hey, I feel like we are on the completely same page. I'm 24 and I'm from England and have spent 5 years in University studying fashion. I set myself a goal and I tried so hard to keep up with deadlines and projects even though I was juggling being a single parent and depression/anxiety at the same time.

Last year, I had no choice but to drop out, 2 months before graduation. My depression hit that hard that I saw no future for myself. I was almost done! I had almost cracked it and achieved a goal. But I let emotions get the better of me and I threw mine and my daughters future away.

Whereas you, you have potential. You failed by 2%! That's marginal! You clearly have drive and ambition or you wouldn't have seen it through to the end. There are options I'm sure to resit the year.

Just like you, my friends are graduated, in happy jobs and relationships etc. and here I am, 24 and stuck in square 1. But there is a way out and only you can change your own future.

There's not many successful people who will be able to say they didn't suffer or make sacrifices or face failures before they reached their goals and success. So don't give up.

You've got a goal, I'd suggest writing down a plan for what you wish to achieve within the next month, the next 3 months, next year and so on... and take it in stages. Before you know it everything will fall into place.

You can do it!

IcanIwill profile image
IcanIwill in reply to sallyann94

Wow, I find your story so admirable especially with being a mum and having to deal with anxiety and depression.

I hope you find it in you to go back to school as well and finish off that degree, you are a star! and your daughter is lucky to have a mum like you. And thank you for the advice about writing down my goals, I sometimes get so caught up in my own thoughts I forget there's more out there for me than I believe.

We can get through this!

Best wishes to us both girl :)

sallyann94 profile image
sallyann94 in reply to IcanIwill

no matter how small the goal might seem, write it down...

One issue I was facing was being able to get up out of bed in the morning and I made a goal 'wake up to my first alarm'... imagine if someone else read that goal, they'd have laughed at me! But in stages, before I knew it I became healthier.

I was waking up early, feeling fresh, eating breakfast, completing work and having a productive day.

So no matter how small or even how unrealistic your goal may seem write it down and in time you'll be smashing life.

We're still so young, sometimes it's just hard to see a way out when things are so dark!

Good luck x x

h_mayhem profile image
h_mayhem

I’m 26 and failed out of community college twice!!!! Because of my anxiety problems. And some days I really regret it but all you can do is keep pushing forward , take it one day at a time and try not to compare yourself to others, I do that at times and it’s really not healthy because everyone has their own path to walk and no one is perfect. Don’t be so hard on yourself you’ve done more at 23 then a lot of people !! You can do whatever you put your mind to and just try to look at your failures as lessons and don’t dwell on them. I know more than anyone is easier said then done but positive self talk is soooo important that’s one thing my therapist told me. Negative self talk is really bad for you. Idk if any of this helped but just know you’re not alone and you’re still really young you have a lot of time to get where you want to be and no matter how old you are you are allowed to fail and make mistakes. Wishing you the best and sending you good vibes <3

IcanIwill profile image
IcanIwill in reply to h_mayhem

I totally agree with the negative self talk really putting a damper on everything.

Thank you for taking the time to reply, it means a lot to me because tbh I don't even get this support from my own friends when I did talk to them about my anxiety so I don't talk about it with them anymore.

I hope you can go back to community college and persevere through it too! I know it can be rough as well because I am also back to community college.

Sending good vibes your way as well :)

ReardenSt33l profile image
ReardenSt33l

Wow this speaks to me on a deep level. I’m 22, finishing my business degree and then going back to get my nursing degree next summer. I’m so nervous about nursing school it’s ridiculous. Last month I would wake up every other morning and throw up from nerves (and I’m still a year away from starting the program! Lol)

Know this: no one has life figured out. Sure some people might be happy but no one is totally satisfied. Everyone wants that next thing. If they could only have that next thing THEN they would be happy. Continue to push through and run towards your passions. Good luck with your figure endeavors :)

ReardenSt33l profile image
ReardenSt33l in reply to ReardenSt33l

*future endeavors

IcanIwill profile image
IcanIwill in reply to ReardenSt33l

Hi, I'm happy to hear that you are finishing your degree and going on to nursing. That is wonderful. Honestly I totally understand the nerves, I mean look at my story lol, but thank you for the kind words.

Nursing school is a completely different beast, but just know as long as you persevere you're going to make a great nurse! Learn from me, don't let your fear cripple you from doing well. You will get nervous, but you will also learn so so much. I can sense the compassion you have just from your reply and that is such an important trait as a nurse. Good luck to you my friend!

God bless you..it's ok to feel the way you do..obviously you care about yourself and want to better yourself and you will..you are working on finding your path..this was meant to happen so you can move on to something else..it will happen..it's happening..be kind to yourself..it's just an obstacle which you will gwt through in the right track...good luck

IcanIwill profile image
IcanIwill in reply to

Thank you so much for the encouraging words. I really find so much value in what you've said. I hope that whatever you are battling, you will get through them as well. Take care

blessings xx

Itzallgood1 profile image
Itzallgood1

I tried to go to college when I was younger. I ended up going one year because of my anxiety of being in front of people. I found jobs where I didn't have to deal with people much. I'm at a job now where I was accepted for how I am and slowly moved a bit out of my shell. When everything is done and my job title changed, I will be a manager of a warehouse where I work. To me that is success. Keep trying. I know in my heart you can pass the course and be on your way to being a nurse. Missing by 2 percent isn't much. Just put more emphasis on your studies and you'll be just fine. Good luck and keep us posted.🙂

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