Wanting to Die

[puppypancakes3]

I don't have any plans, but I always have such an urge to end it all. I probably won't do anything, but I just have these persistent thoughts of wanting to die all the time. Every time I wake up, every time I go to class, every time I eat, or go to sleep. I'm afraid that if I get impulsive I'll do it. Or if another terrible thing goes wrong in my life, that I'll just find some way to end it all. Does anyone else feel this way? Maybe it's just the nature of depression. I feel like the difference between being sad and depressed is that when you're depressed you just don't want to go on anymore. You feel hopeless, worthless, even in the best conditions. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe my definition of depression is only true to me. Is it normal to feel this suicidal? Should I be worried? Like I said, I don't have plans. Deep down, I don't think I want to end it all. But the thoughts are still there, and I'm afraid that my net breakdown will end in an attempt. I don't think it will, but I'm scared. It's happened in the past. I just get so impulsive and upset that I just find a way in that very moment to try and end my life. I'm scared of my own impulsiveness. Am I in the minority here?

[EleanorRose]

I don’t know if it’s the minority or more common if I’m honest. What I do know is that I have definitely felt like this in the (recent) past. The suicidal feelings seem to have passed for now but I too have had similar thoughts but, like you, no plan to do it and I’m not sure I ever really would. I am quite impulsive by nature too and have caused myself harm on impulse in the past which I have then immediately regretted.

Perhaps you could create a plan to help yourself? Just in case you ever do feel like you’re going to act on the thoughts - have a plan now for what you would do to prevent it.

I don’t know quite what else to say but just wanted you to know you’re not alone in feeling like this.

Take care of yourself.

Eleanor

[misslillie]

No you are not alone in this. The ideation comes and goes. Usually if you verbalize it the urge will go way. Perhaps when the urge comes you can talk about here and it will diminsh fade another good thought will take its place

[Hidden]

No matter what dont end your life !

GOD LOVES YOU

[Rachel2535]

For years thats all I wanted to do was end it all, all the time. At that point I didn’t love myself. I was broken from abuse that went on as a small child and I didn’t understand it. It took so many years but for over 10 years now I can say I am no longer suicidal. I have a thirst for life that I never had before. My faith in Jesus saved me from my self hatred and shame. So yes it is not a good place to be and there is so many of us out there that are suffering. Look for a good therapist, mentor or pastor to talk to about what you are going through. You are worth the fight it takes to get to a healthy state of being. Reach out and keep talking about it, this is so helpful. I am praying for you. -Rachel

[Sprinkle1]

Sorry about your Mother, she needs help. That is not the way to treat your daughter, she is lacking in herself and needs therapy.

I have been suicidal it goes along with my clinical depression, I even tried it twice and got caught. Do not do it, the body is not easy to kill.

Thru therapy and the right medication, I am happy and free.

There are people out there to help you, call 988, they are there 24/7 and will do their best to help you sort out your feelings.

Write to us here, we will do our best to offer you love and support....I am sending you love,, peace, strength, love of self, acceptance of self, you are a special person in your own rights, I would hug you if I can, they are great, make one feel cozy inside.

Sprinkle 1.......