Hi all, just checking in as I've been busy moving - to a new town and in with my fella (who smokes). Been a bit stressed and anxious because I feel like a fish out of water. I'm currently still at my old job and commuting 55 miles to work, which is pretty exhausting, but I have a job interview this afternoon for somewhere much closer. It's in a nursery. I haven't worked with children for about 3 years now, although it's what I'm qualified in, so I'm a bit nervous and hoping my knowledge isn't too out of date.
I suppose the reason I'm on today is that I'm dealing with an awful lot of change and instability at the moment - and it will all be fine! - but cigarettes have been my crutch for so long.... and I've had a couple of really bad cravings over the last few days, to the point where I've seriously considered smoking. I tried to breathe through the craving and it did pass, so I'm very happy that I managed to weather it, but this is the closest I've been to breaking and I don't feel safe at all.
Just feel a bit tested at the moment: New home, new routine, job hunting, my stuff is all over so I spend ages looking for it, I get lost EVERY day, worried about money, blah blah blah. I know I'm moaning. Everyone around me is telling me to relax and let it be, that things will come right, and I know this is how I should feel - there's an awful lot of positive and exciting stuff happening here - but this is my 6th move in three years and I think my shock absorbers need replacing.
Sorry for the long rambly post. I'm not even sure what I'm aiming at really. I know what I can do to help myself and I am taking steps to gain a bit more stability in life, it's just going to take time. I suppose I'm just a bit.... weary with my quit, it's sheer bloody-mindedness that is pushing me on at the moment (one week away from 5 months now). I'm sure I'm not the only person who's ever felt like this though, so that is why I'm subjecting you to this essay (you're welcome! Haha! :D). I know there's a way through and it is probably just to keep going, but it helps to know you're not alone, even if you are lost.
Hope the day is working out wherever you are