Life is so cruel: Hi all I have many... - Mental Health Sup...

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Life is so cruel

Drooper
Drooper

Hi all I have many problems at the moment I’ve had anxiety most of my life now 47, I had a panic attack at 16 never been the same since . Lots of family trauma heart attack uncle aunts dying of cancer etc over my life time . I had a marriage break up after 22 years of being together came as quiet a shock my daughter went with my wife and I have not seen her for 16 months , my son lives with me he is 19 which has been difficult in itself. My mum has recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer aswell finding it really hard to cope I’ve had medication didn’t work tried mindfulness meditation exercise nothing seems to lift my depression and anxiety. I also suffer from bad flushing in social situations any help will be appreciated thanks .

15 Replies
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That is a lot to deal with my friend! Make another appt. with your Dr. and explain everything to them. Therapy can help. A lot of times you won’t find a med that works right until the 3rd or 4th try. There IS something out there that will help. Stay as positive as you can and remember to breathe!

Drooper
Drooper in reply to PrimoB

Thank you for your reply much appreciated I’m waiting for cbt therapy just so hard right now .

PrimoB
PrimoB in reply to Drooper

I can’t relate to everything you’ve been through but I can relate to the anxiety and pain it’s causing you. It’s very very hard. BUT you can get through it. 4 years ago I thought my life had no meaning and now things are different. Not perfect but much better.

Drooper
Drooper in reply to PrimoB

Thanks I really hope I can come out the other side because this is no life the pain and torture is unbearable

You are really on the rule of five, when I was doing voluntary work they there would saty the rule of five problems, that can make anyone sit up and understand they are having problems to cope. You need to address each problem on its own and try and address that concern in small bites. However the stress and depression you have had with the sick and those moving on needs to be talked out possibly by family members or very good friends. If this is not possible talk to your GP and He will arrange a treatment pathway so you are given time or suggestions to move on. with your life and those concerns you are suffering from with the break up of your marriage.

In the past I had to deal with many of my Aunts, Uncles and Grandparent as they were passing over. You should never be alone with these concerns you need to talk. The age of family members, passing over seems to fall in some form of age groups so everything seems to happen, in groups, generations. So you are not alone and eventually you will be able to move onto better times.

If you need to talk we are here for you, you could also contact McMillan, they deal with cancer sufferers and also those who will be left behind. Cruise also deals with people who have lost close family members. You will get information who to contact on the Internet or at the library, even the GP Surgery

BOB

Drooper
Drooper in reply to borderriever

Thank you for your reply it is a lot to deal with I will look into the things you have suggested any help would be good thanks again all the best .

Hi all I would just like to ask people when your life has been turned on it’s head like a nuclear bomb going off and on a daily basis you suffer the torture and pain everyday,the thoughts never stop neither does the pain ,anxiety and depression top it all,where do you find the energy let alone the will power to keep going and pushing on. I’ve tried many things to try and help myself nothing seems to change. My mums at chemo today 4th time I feel pathetic that I can’t just move on and get out of this mess thanks for listening.

Hi all I would just like to ask people when your life has been turned on it’s head like a nuclear bomb going off and on a daily basis you suffer the torture and pain everyday,the thoughts never stop neither does the pain ,anxiety and depression top it all,where do you find the energy let alone the will power to keep going and pushing on. I’ve tried many things to try and help myself nothing seems to change. My mums at chemo today 4th time I feel pathetic that I can’t just move on and get out of this mess thanks for listening.

Sry seem to have posted it twice .

borderriever
borderriever in reply to Drooper

You need to consider diversions, like hobbies or sports you like doing. I am Chronic Disabled, with Reactive Depression and I try and take my mind of what is going on.

Like now I have had a Flair up of my disability, my immune system, White Blood Cells become low and now I am coming down with my second cold in the last four weeks or so

I love History and Travel Books, I took delivery of a book full of Painted Church interiors fro Eastern Europe, it is an old book, although the photographs are fantastic, so I have been reading and looking at photographs of church walls , that has helped me today. Whatever interests go for it

BOB

Drooper
Drooper in reply to borderriever

Thanks i do go out cycling and read a lot but it doesn’t take away my thoughts and feelings of sadness and anxiety . Hope your cold goes not nice especially two in a short space of time take care wish you well soon .

borderriever
borderriever in reply to Drooper

Drooper

Thank you.

You will hopefully find given time and patience, when you understand fully your situation, depression. You will be able to concentrate more on Diversions you love and enjoy.

You need to be strong enough to approach you health concern and know what you need to do to loosen the grip of your Depression. You will hopefully begin to move on and live your life with more intensity as you address your concerns.

I have had depression and anxiety for the 40 years... 2 years ago my father was diagnosed with bowel cancer and we did all the hospital trips and with help I managed to get him home as his wish was to die at home.. Thanks to Macmillan and some magnificent carers he died peacefully surrounded by his family. He got to see all his grandchildren and great-grandchildren and I even managed to find some of his old friends who visited. Obviously I was grieving for him but I wasn’t depressed,although I think my family were concerned about my mental health.

But I am having a bad patch of anxiety at the moment am not sure why which is common and am finding the nights difficult as usual. But I have discovered audiobooks and find them a great help when I wake up in the early hours. I have also started doing counted cross stitch and of course colouring and crosswords...

As I have other health conditions I don’t go out much at the moment and the days seem long. But I keep telling myself that I have been like this many times before and have come through.

The last time I had a breakdown I was an inpatient on off for 2 years I had 3 lots of ECT and they were considering psycho surgery at one point but they tried a new cocktail of drugs and they helped. Because I had been in hospital for a time I suffered terribly from aggro-phobia when I left hospital and had full blown panic attacks just standing in the open front doorway but my therapist helped me plan steps to overcome the panic and with determination after a year I managed my goal which was to go by train from Essex to Winchester to visit my daughter who was a uni there. I even felt ok on the tube which was the part I fretted about.

Years and years ago I was advised to read Claire Weekes books and they really help. She’s even on YouTube now. You can also get audiobooks.

CBT can help, it helped me... It’s not easy tho but stick with it. Ionly hope you don’t have to wait too long.

Best Wishes

Thanks for your reply and suggestions I really think it’s amazing what you have done and are still managing to do and have the strength and willpower to carry on. I’m sorry for your loss take care and I wish you well .

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