I feel like its my mind that talks me... - Mental Health Sup...

Mental Health Support

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I feel like its my mind that talks me out of doing anything.


Had a back injury in 2000, had a few fusions and then a medtronics stimulator, thats when you know they are giving up, and of course the constant refills of meds, methadone, Roxycodone, soma, ambien, lyrica, and blood pressure med, and I have worked as an electrician for same company for last 13 yrs, but I feel like a robot, not enjoying anything, I have an old corvette that I loved to drive and wotk on, have not touched it in over 10 yrs, my house needs repairs that I can do but cant make myself get up and do them, I find excuses to stay home when wife and kids go to movies or anything really, I wait till really the last minute to get uo to get to an appointment and completly stressed about getting there on time and driving fast, just have not energy and lost the drive I used to have to be able to do anything, even if never did it before I could figure out how, but all that is gone, I love the night time when all is asleep but me, I sleep for a couple hours then up and feel calm and safe at night, during day I will not even answer door if someone knocks, once there was a car crash in front of my house , I could hear everything but I could not make myself get up, I told myself if I heard a kid screaming I would get up, just dont have energy to put the mask on, it takes to much energy that I dont have to be lively and smile and fake, Im currently waiting on another back surgey to upgrade the medtronics stemulator, but workers comp dragging feet, and its been over a year and I had to get an attorney to hopefully push it thru and get some pain relief and get back to work before my employer lets me go for beimg off so long, Im surprised it hasnt happened already, I know this is long, but needed to let you know I have not always been this way, Before I broke my back I was a electrician in the USAF worked on B52 bombers and KC135 tankers and two tours in gulf, and I enjoyed life and doing things, but for last 15 yrs I have lost it, I can still get around and for most part I keep up with others that have no injuries, but Im still so tired and talk myself out of getting up and doing even the things I used to be up all night enjoying doing, if anyone else geels like this please let me know what worked for you, Im so tired of feeling this way, its like a Im carrying 200 lbs in a pack everytime I sit up, Thanks for reading this and if anyone else feels this way or had in past, Im hoping someone has a way out of this and I csn get back to enjoying life and looking forward to completing taskes and enjoying life, Thanks

2 Replies

It sounds like you've been dealing with a lot and I'm sorry to hear it. I've felt similar before - didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone. Things are better now but it took some help and time.

Have you ever talked to a counselor? A good one can be really helpful.


I have a Chronic condition that effects most parts of my body, I also have a chronic Short Term Memory Disorder and associated Reactive Depression. I have been disabled now since 1980, and I have been on most pain medications. In a way I was lucky I was sent to Pain Clinic and they sent me on various courses to learn how to control nerve and joint damage. My condition also effects my skin and I am scarred over most of my body, so I need to get treatment in Dermatology, PsA. joint damage So I have a great deal going on even though I was shown h ow to manage my medications and using a TENS Machine, the later may help you in some way yo control your Pain, the Tens, a duel system works on my spine, although sometimes the pain is moderated and I still suffer. However something like that may act as a temporary piece of kit to reduce your painful condition. There is another piece of kit that may tone your muscles around the problem areas, they are called EMS. They tone the areas of the muscles and that helps as well. You can get a multi Tens with two channels and more different frequencies than the cheaper machines. You can wear these machines and treat two different areas at the same time, even at work. Discuss with your GP or Specialist.

When it comes to a Reactive depression, A Pain Clinic can arrange CBT and other coping exercises to help you control your pain. Some people in our case, UK get a nurse and trick cyclists who will help you move through the complexity of your mental health concerns.

I gather you live in the USA, therefore we have restricted understanding of your health system.

We have an adapted bungalow to help me get around and perform various tasks around the house, both bathrooms are adapted. In my bedroom we have a Hydro Shower with seven spray heads that adjust to six different water patern. The bath is full Spa water and air with chromo lighting. It also has adjustable seat that lowers me and lifts me out of the bath, it also has a six spray type shower head.

The bed has 6 massage and fully adjustable.so I have full support, that helps my spine

The living room and kitchens are also adapted for my disability as well. Most of the equipment needs to be paid for, although we get all the tax back, our rates are also reduced because of chronic disability. Most activities in the garden are made easier with various tools etc.

They also fitted all the rails I needed and also adjustments for the toilet and walking aids

If you are having real problems you will need to consider above possibly yo allow you to get around and live your Life. Even if you go on holiday in the UK there are properties that have disability needs fitted so above is not unusual


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