Sorry Guys: Hey I know probably... - Mental Health Sup...

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Sorry Guys

Charmerbluegirl
Charmerbluegirl
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Hey I know probably everyone is sick of hearing my problems over and over. It's I just don't know what to do I can't really explain how I feel. I wanna cry but can't I feel like I just wasted 10 months of my life. 10 months I can't get back nor can I forget. The person just forgot about me after getting a girlfriend. I know I might be the wrong one but I miss them you know. How do you unmiss someone or even better forget about someone?. So if your a bit lost I'd explain OK. I met this dude on a social network last year December an we were talking ever since then we grew a bit close doing phone calls at late hours of the night and stuff. It was like he made me happy you know but I just couldn't see a life with him. So I just kept it as friends throughout it all. But dispite talking to him for 10 months he just forgot about me after getting a girlfriend. An I don't know how to feel I do miss talking to them yes but I don't wanna get in the way of his relationship. He finally has someone in his life so I don't wanna ruin anything for him. I'm just messed up at this point in life I just have one regret about this and it's responding to him when he messaged me in December last year. If I didn't I wouldn't be feeling the way I am today. I just thought we would have always been friends I guess but not anymore :'( . I'm lost not sure how to move on feel like my heart is hurt and I don't know why. I can't bare the trouble I need help. I'm so so sorry everyone I know probably all my posts concern the same problem but I'm just not sure if I'd be able to get over this. I've never been in this kind of situation before.

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sweetiepye

You can write about this all you want or need to. It's how you are working through it. I think you have invested more into this relationship than you know, and perhaps it meant more to you than it did to your friend. It really isn't realistic to think someone would choose a cyber relationship over a real one. You are hurting for whatever reason and it takes time to get past it. Now is the time to be around other people and keep yourself busy. It won't be easy, but you have to give your mind something else to think about. Pam

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Charmerbluegirl

Yes I know everything your saying is true. I do have regrets of letting this happen but I don't know it seems hard to let go. I know I have to so I will slowly try to get there and forget about my past. It's just I don't feel like I'd ever get that close to someone ever again but thank you so much your words were very effective. Stay blessed 🙂🙏🏾

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MattBuckland

Hi Charmer

The whole unrequited love thing is tough and some people handle it better than others. Don't worry about sharing, that is what the forum is here for. In late teens this happened a few times and affected me deeply and then about 3 years ago it happened again and was hard but I got through it much easier than I had done in the past. When you have worked your way though it you will be able to tackle it when/if it happens again.

Pam is right, it has gone now so best to refocus on something else (note I say something rather than someone).

Your heart is hurt because you thought you were building something that unfortunately didn't exist, when you invest emotionally in something or someone for a long time, it is always going to be hard if it ends whether you want it to or not. A broken heart is a horrible thing, but they can heal and sometimes beat even stronger than before.

First things first though, go and do something nice just for yourself aNd focus on that activity. Then start again. Over analysing will probably not be good but if you need to do a bit to move one then write a few examples of what is upsetting you and why, look at what is real actual fact and what is perception. This can help to put perspective on things and mind reading other people is really unhealthy so avoid that if at all possible.

Hope this process is not too painful.

Look after yourself, Matt

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Charmerbluegirl

All I can say is I'd try my best to accomplish this task. Hope all is well on your side and thank you so much for your help. God bless 😇

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Frozenimages

I agree with sweetie and Matt. When you get emotionally involved with people, no matter if it's best friends, casual fling, love interest, someone you can just talk to. It hurts like hell when that person stops talking to you, stops showing attention, makes you feel like you have been replaced. You miss them, something awful. It's right though, everyone works through loss differently. You can come on here and write the same thing over and over if that is what helps you get through this difficult time. Nobody has the right to judge you on how you are dealing with this loss of a very close friend. Even if you didn't have a love interest in this guy, it sounds like he just made you happy in general. Then it's gone in an instant.

One of the things that can be the toughest to deal with is regret. Thinking if you had just never met this person, you wouldn't feel the way you are feeling. When you say "I've never been in this kind of situation before", it means that you gained a new experience. Not a good one, but you learned something new, as painful as it may be. One of the ways I try to cope with those kind of feelings is I try to look at it like a life lesson. Learning the hard way so to speak. There is no guarantee that it won't happen again however. That's the beauty and tragedy of life. Sometimes you need to make the same mistake over and over before you can learn from it. When I say that, I mean, there may be slight differences each time that you hadn't had to deal with before.

Allow yourself time to grieve for the loss of this guy's friendship. There is no time limit on when to "get over" losing someone. One thing I can leave you with, don't let these hurt feelings, shut you away from getting attached to people. As you get older, you will have many more experiences like this one, but you will also have wonderful ones as well. There is always a risk you will lose people, but then you find the ones that are always there, no matter where life takes you.

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Charmerbluegirl

You know you are just simply amazing you just motivated me to another level thank you so much for that. Your really great at helping thank you so much and God bless. Hope all is well on your side. :)

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Frozenimages

I'm glad I could help. It's not always easy and from personal experience, having people that give outside perspective and encourage me through my hard times helps out greatly. I too recently lost a friend. She passed away. I miss her something terrible and I find myself waiting for her to show up at my door, just to say hi. You sound like a wonderful woman who has a lot to give. Keep on being nice and caring about others, the world can be tough and it can always use kinder people.

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Charmerbluegirl

Oh my you lost someone my condolences are with you and just know she's in a better place now. Keep fighting the good fight my dear and keep a positive mind set. God bless and thanks once again. ^_^

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Clarebear86

It’s strange as I find myself being a perpetrator of this same situation. I seemed to be a bit of a socialite before I met my now husband. When we met and got together everyone else just seemed to drift away or if i’m honest just didn’t bother with anymore. We were so into one another no one else seemed to matter. I think this happens a lot when people start relationships. We just get so wrapped up in the now. I know it’s probably hard but give him time, he may come back into your life when it settles down. I reached out to friends I haven’t seen in 8 years or more and they are here for me now. It may work out, but then again it may not? Living with this and accepting it can be difficult.

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Charmerbluegirl

Hmm thanks and I'm glad all worked out well for you hope all is well on your side. An referring to if they decide to return to my life which I doubt would happen cause he seems happy so I'd be happy too cause he's at peace and I don't wanna get in between that and I doubt I'd ever be able to talk to him again like we use to before it just wouldn't be the same but thanks for the response. God bless :)

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Frozenimages

That is a good point. Sometimes people drift apart, but may end up coming back together later on. The good ones always end up back in your life.

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Charmerbluegirl

Thanks, but there's no chance of us being as close as we were before the past is in the past. I can't, even if they do return which I know wouldn't happen I'd have to let them go but thank you so much for caring.

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Frozenimages

And sometimes that's for the best as well. :)

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Charmerbluegirl

I guess, but I'm just taking sometime to move on but I'd get through this in a due season and thanks for the help. God bless

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