After seeing a different doctor last week and giving them a list with all my symptoms and feelings on after a year of depression that isn't getting any better despite trying numerous antidepressants and trying cbt (waiting for counselling but I have to wait for 90 days) they instantly said they were urgently referring me to the mental health team.
I'm quite scared because does this mean I'm suffering from something more than depression? I have recently been wondering if I have cyclothymia due to my ridiculous mood swings that have nothing to do with what is actually going on at the time and not even realising my husband has to tell me.
What are they going to do when I go? They phoned me the next day to give me emergency numbers in case I needed help before I see them due to having suicidal feelings which again scares me due to the urgency of it all and I already have an appointment to see them.
Does anyone have any advice or info about what I should expect as at the moment even though I know I probably need to go and get help its making me feel even lower thinking that the docs must be worried, they've even called in the morning a few times to make sure I don't need an appointment...
Please help!!!
L x
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Lx91
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Please don't be scared - you are brave for reaching out. I really mean that. It's standard (or should be) for a GP to refer you to a local mental health team. Different people do things slightly differently...and GPs are people too. It sounds good they're taking you seriously. Be proud of yourself for doing it.
If you are depressed this is serious. If you had breathing difficulties or any other health issue - it's just the same. Please don't worry about something, anything 'else' - it's someone hearing you and taking your symptoms and attempts to get better seriously. To be a broken record - this is a good thing!
Try to take a breath. They are likely to ask you questions. How long have you been feeling this way etc, you may be asked to describe symptoms or feelings, probably similar, hopefully, to questions any GP has asked over the past year. This may be frustrating, upsetting, or not, depending on how you're feeling. It might be hard to discuss things that are usually kept private and might be difficult to explain. If in doubt, ask. If uncomfortable, trust yourself and if you feel able, say so. If they're not listening in the way you want to be heard, please have the confidence to say so. If at any time you don't know how to respond, again, say so, it's up to the person you see to do the hard work, not you! They may suggest treatment like medication or counselling, they may suggest a further appointment. If it seems a blur and they're too rushed, take a breath if you can, and ask!! They're there to help you. If you feel uncomfortable with anything, you have a right to say so, check their thinking and think about it for a while.
If it's possible to debrief with someone who knows you well and you trust, this is good. Will you go with someone? Sometimes good to have someone there.
Please say if you need to ask anything else I wanted to reply quickly
Oh my gosh, you just gave me the exact reply I needed to hear, I actually had a little tear then!
You have said everything so perfectly and alltho I'm still feeling scared you have given me so many ways of how to deal with it.
I think it's just all so overwhelming and seems to be moving so quick with them ringing me so soon and getting an appointment so soon it's like am I even worse than I think I am?
And I'm really bad for closing up when I see people and I know for this I need to tell them everything and I don't know if I'll be able to and then I won't get the right help.
Is it worth me mentioning the cyclothymia or do I just let them make they're judgement cos I feel like my symptoms fit so well with this but also I don't wanna skew their decision?
My husband will come with me for support but I don't want him to come with me as he is already so worried about me from what I tell him so if he came in I wouldn't be able to be completely honest as I don't want him worrying even more (I don't lie to him but don't want him worrying more if you know what I mean). I might ask if he can come in at the end if they have lots to say as I can't take much info in and forget things really easily at the mo.
Is it something you have had experience with if you don't mind me asking?
As you can see from my long reply I'm basically just so confused and it's messing with my feelings even more.
Thanks again so much for your speedy reply, I am going to keep reading it when I get nervous, it was such a kind and honest answer.
You're very sweet - it was just luck I'm online :-). I'm really genuinely pleased if it helped though.
It probably is overwhelming and none of us are great at being articulate when overwhelmed!! You're doing really well at expressing yourself so take heart. You might be worse, but, more likely you're in tune with yourself and they're hearing. That reponse can be a shock, especially as mental health is famously the cinderella part of the NHS and under resourced etc and takes ages...
Tell them what you can - if you can bear to try jotting down the things you really don't want to forget. Let's face it - telling a complete stranger something difficult, that's affecting your life, in a brief time, with unknown outcomes and a bunch of stigma and fear possibly? If you don't get the right help it's also not your fault. Clamming up would be a sensible reaction - noone's perfect at this. Ironically when I've been struggling I often appear so together it takes someone good to spot that I'm not.
Mention anything you want, but, it seems the more I know, it depends on the person hearing and them not feeling challenged. Sometimes clinicians/healthcare professionals feel a little challenged if you suggest your own diagnosis. But then some of them might like your input. Play it by ear, and please don't feel bad if you choose either way (easier said than done I know). If you believe their decision is reflective of you, go with it, if it seems utterly off, then skew it back. You can do this gently and assertively - have faith in yourself. Trust your gut if you can? Good professionals in every field will respect you, and your concerns. And you're allowed to ask - what's their background or training? Are they a Psychiatrist etc?
Good call on your husband - you can call him in when/if you need. See? You're making a lot of good calls
I've had experience of this. From several perspectives! I've had a few medical issues lately and because of the rather poor services not talking much I've seen and explained things to far too many people. I had an awful experience a few weeks back and it didn't go well, so think that's probably why I'm so keen you feel more confident. I've had other very good experiences though, so don't want to skew your views in advance and inaccurately.
The best of luck, trust yourself, and treat yourself afterwards!!!
I don't really have much to say only thanks again for your long detailed response. You really have put my mind at rest...for now (you know what it's like!) I am definitely going to read through this again and write out some of the tips you have given, andna list of all my symptoms so that if I can't cope anymore I can be like read this and leave me alone. Hopefully it's someone I can connect with (I find I'm one of those people that can instantly dislike someone and clam right up) because that will make a massive difference...and being able to sleep would be nice so I'm not a gibbering wreck of a zombie...she says replying ar 3.20am wondering how she may get back to sleep ready for her 6am start...thanks once again for your reply, you may see it as being sweet but it's true your advice has been spot on.
L x
Hi great reply 0101. I agree with you and will say I reckon it's because you said you have suicidal feelings. They tend to see that as a red flag.
Well done for finally getting the help you need. That was very brave of you. x
Hi, I have been trying for months just getting different tablets and told previous docs that I feel this way but they've always just replied with do you have a plan...in my head I take this as what do you want me to say 'at 6.46 on January 25th I'm going to do...' so always say no and they brush it off. Think it was just luck of the drawer with who I saw and writing EVERYTHING down that I have been feeling.
As I mentioned above I'm just feeling very overwhelmed and scared about how fast everything is going, I keep thinking is it even worse than I thought it was...and it's making me feel like I'm trying to trudge through a thicker and thicker fog the more I think about it and the more time goes on... I don't feel very brave like I said just feel like it's because it was a different doc...
Sleeping would also help so much as I'm currently a walking talking zombie at the mo having not slept at all or properly for over a month now which doesn't really doesn't help!
Hi it was very brave of you to write everything down and tell a different doctor everything. I don't think I could do that. As for the rest of it you are allowed to be 'not brave' and of course you are apprehensive and worried about it.
Just try and see it as getting the help you need and deserve sooner so you will start to recover a lot quicker.
We humans are contrary creatures! When we are not taken seriously we are not happy, but when we are we worry it is serious...
Take care of yourself and keep us updated please. xx
That's very true we never seem to be happy even with the smallest things, eg. It's too cold or too hot!! Thankyou for your help I go in about 2 weeks so will let you know.
Hi just wanted to reassure you this happened with me last year and I am so glad it did as I have a fantastic CPN and psychiatrist and counsellor who have helped me. I still have a long road ahead but they always listen never judge and if I need them they are a phone call away. My CPN will come to see me if I'm struggling to go out of the house. Try to be as honest as you can with them. They do ask questions you might not like to answer but if you can try it will help you. Please don't worry they were talking about a hospital stay for me last year but it was all handled in a way I could cope with. Hugs to you remember they are there to help
Thankyou for your advice. It's nice to hear from someone that's been through it and had a good outcome from it with the extra support being put in place.
I'm worried I'm going to get overwhelmed and not be able to answer everything properly because I tend to completely zone out and I won't know what they are saying or how to answer if it gets too much and I'll end up just going along with whatever they say.
I feel like I should be hospitalised, I genuinly feel like I'm losing the plot my emotions are ridiculously heightened and maybe it would be the best place for me and the people that love me...at least they wouldn't have to worry about me then. I've had the worst day ever and come the closest I ever have to...ending it...I would if it wasn't for my husband, I love him too much to do that to him I don't care about myself but it would destroy him... but what if it's not enough soon?
That's just where I was tbh going bk 5/6 months, with manic depression for the last cpl of years after a cpl of changes with my circumstances. Also been dealing with a lot of suicidal feelings and urges basically especially over the past 6/7months to where I get very agitated and very 'short fused' it feels like and so I have been increasingly getting worried about something pushing me over that line. After a long wait of 4 nearly 5months I was seen by my nearest Mental Health Team, or at least went for the 'initial assessment'. Now I don't say this to dishearten you, because it's just been my experience! But I was there and the lady I saw was lovely- no complaints about her personally, but I left after an hour basically feeling like I don't think I was asked too much about how I've been feeling Recently (the last 6months or so) day to day, it felt like I was asked more about the circumstances that changed and the death of my father just over 4years ago. Now to anyone who looks from the outside in, this sounds a simple reason or an obvious reason for my feelings, but no disrespect or whatever but yes this affected me, I was only 22 at the time! But the way I've been feeling the last cpl of years with my depression is more about my life and the fact I am not in a good place and haven't been for these past 2years since my depression seemed to come bk to light. Anyways I left there with very mixed emotions, happy because I'd made 'the first step' and felt good because I had done that, but my guy was telling me that the lady didn't seem too concerned or something?! It's hard to explain tbh! Anyways I was assured all of what I had said to her was going to be took into a meeting and she would ring me 'in a couple of days'. After just over a week I had to chase them and straight away the lady apologised, to which I said I had been waiting desperately to hear bk from them. (I also live on my own and so made me feel more anxious not getting bk to me when they said they would) anyway the lady said they were going to send me out a letter to refer me to a 'dealing with stress' type therapy? My face dropped tbh. After the darkness and feelings of complete loneliness etc I've been feeling I told her that 'stress' was the last of my worries right now and that I felt very brushed off! Anyway I had to push my point before she said they would get me an appt with one of their doctors there. I mean I have been going to my gp, tried all sorts of medication with no joy and I just couldn't believe the treatment of having to chase them (bear in mind they cancelled my first appt with them after 3months and I had to chase chase chase them for a new one). I ended up sending an email of complaint to the necessary lines, to which I've had a reply saying they will be getting in touch with the senior clinical manager there and getting them to review my concerns etc....So sorry about the long reply (or rant) but my advice is explained everything as if it's your worst day, don't beat around the bush because none of us go there out of choice. As someone else quite rightly said we're referred there because of suicidal tendencies and that's not cool, so just explain how low and how bad you feel and I'm hoping you do not have this same blasé treatment
I had a poor experience with mental health crisis team. There were 2 psychiatric nurses there, one man, one woman. The man did all of talking and kept leaning forward and staring intently at me but the worst thing was that he had this weird tongue waggle thing that he did after each sentence that freaked me out! Think it was probably a tic or mannerism but it completely threw me! Basically the end result of meeting with crisis team was that as I'm not on drugs, an alcoholic and am working I wasn't "bad enough" to get their help. Walked home from there and phoned the Samaritans. I'm still here but consider suicide every day, I'm now getting ACT therapy along with CBT and it might keep me existing for a bit longer! My advice is try to get the most you can from meeting. Tell or write it all down beforehand and just had paper to them. It'll get you started!
Ajrimmer that is horrendous. If that's the same as here they won't be helping me either, I have to work else I would be homeless (maybe they'd care then!) I was signed off for a month last month and had to borrow money to pay my bills! These places sound so hit and miss, I'm hoping mines a good one.
Surely if you're feeling that suicidal that's all they need to know and is the biggest possible way you could ask for help.
Don't give up, keep fighting day by day, I live for the hope that 1 day I'll get the help. Like seeing that different doctor has led to me beinf sent here...
What is ACT? I've had CBT but never heard of that?
It's acceptance and commitment therapy, very like CBT. Accepting that we have nice and not so nice thoughts etc and doing things that commit to our life plan. I have been suicidal on and off and on venlafaxine for 15 years. I'm 40 this year and never planned to be here! But I keep trying different therapy and the fact we try and ask for help from doc, crisis team shows we want to keep going, just want things to be pleasanter. Probably not a good description but hope it makes sense. I have self help books galore and gain a tiny bit of aid from each. Hope you manage to write notes and tell the team how bad you feel. Hard to, but hope you get a team you can talk to! X
I remember that all to well. "Oh you've made it to work? Great, we can take you off our books!" Forgetting the fact the only reason I was going to work was to avoid family knowing I was home and deducing that something was wrong. Oh and that other reason people tend to go to work when they're poorly - to earn money!
I completely agree I go to work partly because it's the only place I get treat like a normal human being but mainly because I need to pay for shit!! If you told them you were laid at home all the time they'd probably tell you you need to be more active!!!
That sounds awful, the worst possible way to treat a depressed person. They're supposed to be the top dogs, there for the peole suffering in the worst ways seems like you have been treated very badly. It seems reasonable that they would take the death of your father into consideration as it is probably part of the problem but only a PART! They should have asked you about more recent stuff to. I really hope they sort it out and find someone who can give you the treatment you need and deserve.
I am terrified as it's all happening so quick for me, within 3 weeks so I keep thinking they must know something I don't and I'm dreading it as I'm not very assertive and tend to just let the docs get away with saying what they want to say and not challenging it, for example I have been having the most horrendous pain in my back and am taking morphine just to take the edge off, finally went to see a spinal specialist this morning to be told that there is nothing wrong and my depression is causing all my pain and it's not really there...funny how the back pain was there first and it's really swollen, I walked out in tears when really I should have challenged him. How is it fair that as soon as we mention depression any physical problem isn't real and is just 'in our heads'.
Sorry went completely off track then, I had to get it off my chest as I have been so upset and have never felt so close to 'carrying out my thoughts' if it wasn't for my amazing husband I would not be here now.
Feel free to vent anytime, it's good for you and I've just done the same in return!!!
Hello - what amazing replies. (Huge issues with formatting and typing usernames so apologies). Thank you to everyone on this thread, sorry for length of this and that I'm also angry which never helps articulacy! I really feel the need to post again as reading the honest things others have written has given me the courage to get off the fence. By sharing I hope it helps. I'm so glad that
jackie220166 has had good experiences but sadly my experiences reflect what
AJRimmer and
Deeman88 have said. I'm positive, as you should be, but I'd also like to be realistic in addition so that you know what you might face. It's not a great thing to have to warn anyone at the point where understanding and care should be a given. It varies hugely in each service area. I really hope you feel less terrified and comforted. Many in mental health services are trying to change this :-).
I hope their posts have shown that you really need to be fairly confident and clear in your own mind. You will get support to do this - from here and I'm sure elsewhere. So hard to do when under strain, I realise. I'm fairly outraged that you - and others - have had similarly dismissive encounters. I was recently listened to and treated with respect by a hospital consultant (non-psych) and nearly fell off my chair it was so unusual. I've had varieties of 'depression/anxiety/all in your head' on my medical notes prevent me from having the healthcare for very physical, simple to treat issues for decades. Yet, she respected me and listened. And told me of the numbers of patients ending up at her door, easily dismissed for years or fobbed off with pills. This is lazy. If it is psychiatric this should be treated according to guidelines and the latest knowledge. If it's likely not, but you still have symptoms, this also needs treatment. It might also be both. It might need changes to diet or lifestyle, or meds or operations but proper diagnosis is key. I was referred to another consultant who was great a few weeks back. In between the two great appointments I sought help to deal with the huge stress and ramifications of my poor physical health, negligent treatment and sitting on multiple waiting lists for months with zero community support. I saw a psychiatrist I'd never met before, with very poor language and listening skills and was dismissed, interrupted, and he had almost none of my medical information accurately recorded. I'd taken my notes with me so he could get the full picture about any medicine interactions or what his medical colleagues are doing. He was a bully and was slightly unhinged by the fact I stood up for myself. He actually raised his voice and started sighing, then jabbing his hand in the air. He refused to give me a copy of the last assessment letter (which the lovely receptionist printed out for me). What a waste of NHS resources.
There is no excuse for this. We are not little children to be scolded! I was, and am, very concerned but have yet to complain as I don't have the heart to again. I am alive through sheer bloody mindedness, luck and the care of others.
Your GP should be linking this all together and you will have to try to be persistent and strong to get this - as I'm sure you are - even if it doesn't feel like you're able now. I was also freely given morphine, then promptly the pain nurses at hospital tried to get me off it. Then was prescribed more. Then...on and on for months. An MRI revealed the cause. Not in my head funnily enough, but constant incompetence does depress me!!
I hope this isn't too much information - I want me, you and anyone else to have the information and the support to get through - being as little battered by a system meant to help us. I think that's why so many of us come online - sad but great in a way that we can share and support each other
Whatever your symptoms are and what is or isn't your diagnosis - a heart condition, bipolar, anxiety, depression, multiple sclerosis, anorexia - you have my love and support
Thanks again 0101. I'm sorry you have had shitty care but glad you're hopefully getting the best care now. Thanks for your honesty, your nice comments were as helpful as this one.
I now too am going to rant cos I can't keep it in...
After having the worst day of my life today walking out on a spinal specialist, having a screaming match with the most heartless bitch of a doctor then having a friend drag me back to the docs to be treat like a heroin addict and walking out on that doctor in the worst state ever seriously considering my options of whether to fight anymore as I was told twice today by doctors that if I wanted to overdose that was my choice and nothing to do with them, after 4 months ish of temazepam use every night I now have it on record that I'm not allowed anymore and been told to completely stop taking it today even though I'm 90% sure you're supposed to taper yourself off it else it can have serious side effects (he never prescribes it and never will), he wasn't even willing to give me 5 tablets to wean myself down over 1 week he said I was already taking to much over to long a time...not my fault have that argument with the doctors that gave me it don't argue with me for now not wanting to stop this drug with no support in place...funny thing beinf I asked to stop it last week but was told not to right now as I need to be in a more settled place and because they had changed my antidepressant dosage the doctor didn't want to change anything else till that settles. I sat in front of a doctor saying I didn't believe I was safe and that I needed to go somewhere where I could be looked after to be told just go home and chill out, I guarantee you won't kill yourself. When I walked out he said to my friend oh just leave her it's probably for the best if she just goes. Going back to the back specialist I have been told that agonising back pain is because of my depression yet they're still going to give me stong painkillers (morphine) and may give me an epidural or other injections, if it's that much in my head why would they do this? I have physical swelling which I'm pretty sure my depression can't do and this started about 3 yrs before my serious depression started. I wonder what he would have said if I hadn't mentioned my depression, I think I would have been treat completely different.
Right now I have no faith in anyone helping me including the mental health team and think I'm just gonna hafta try ride it out with my husband, friends and family and just hope it doesn't last forever because I really don't know how much longer I can fight.
give the mental health team a try, tell them all that you're telling us on here. Sounds like your health problem is contributing to depression and then vice versa. I'm in similar situation with my health, incurable worsening painful illness making me more depressed but had depression before illness too. I keep trying to get to root of my depression which I believe is that I've never liked myself. Each bout of counselling and therapy helps with a part of it. I.e. Bereavements, awful relationships etc. Maybe this time I'll finally work on core problem. Don't give up! Know in your heart and feel proud that you're trying everything you can to help yourself including talking to mental health team! x
I will go but I'm really not holding out on it being successful after my experience yesterday I have never been treated so badly be health professionals depressed or otherwise, I just feel like giving up noone understands unless they've been there, it's fine sayinf take this and do that and when ita sunny again everything will be better but we know it's not that simple. I just have no trust in the whole care system right now.
But I will try and if they fail to help I will cry, I will get angry, I'll want to hurt myself or runaway from the situation but when I come out that door my husband will be stood there ready to jusy hold me together and I will come home to my family and think maybe just maybe it's worth carrying on for...and I will probably give in for a while but hopefully eventually I will get up again and I'll be that little bit more determined and a little bit stronger to carry on fighting.
(Sorry wrote myself a little bit of a mantra there but I'm keeping it there to remind myself how I felt and that even after the shittiest day at 3.30 in the morning because I don't sleep I can still carry on.)
Aj it is just a vicious cycle isn't is and I'm 100% sure we get brushed off the minute we mention depression, I'm beginning to wonder whether to save up to go private for my physical problems or will it just be the same response...
It is awful for you to realise that thay is the reason but I think that may be a factor for all of us, and now that you have identified it as your main issue you can begin to work on it. Just think when you read this message I must be a kind hearted person to give words that have helped someone in their MOST desperate time of need. Then think of something else at the end of tomorrow that made you feel good and happy about yourself... gradually I hope you will learn to love yourself. We all need to start caring for ourselves that bit more.
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