“Westchester dad in shocking murder-suicide was ‘under a lot of stress‘“
Another apparently mentally well man stands accused of murdering his family and self after years providing for his family and being a decent Dad.
If this was caused by a bite from a newly invasive bug my assumption is the whole town would be quarantined, inhabitants checked for bites and the whole area fumigated to kill the species.
But what will the psychological community do I. This situation? Will they go door to door pleading with people in the area to get mental check ups? Will they call a press conference to worn the community of the absolutely dangerous and at times fatal consequences of pent up stress? Will they plead to the mayor and governor on live TV at a vigil for the family the absolute despearate crisis America is in, tears roll down my cheeks, so that children do not have to suffer the same fate as their mentally ill parents?
I hate to say it but no, fuck no.
Our country has had its over-boil moments, marriage for any two adults that want it, gender liberation, race equality movements, anti-misogyny revolution and people are seeing that the soda, meats, grains and alcohols we have been advertised to are not the healthy food choices we need. And guns - guns first debated and after hundreds of mass shootings a small echo of the term mentally ill.
You see without some mentally ill being responsible for mass shootings mental illness would not have news coverage at all with any sort of seriousness. 43,000 people commit suicide each year, nothing severe done by government , no outcry from psychologist/psychiatrist, no Martin Luther king moments for those people and there families.
The mentally ill are marginalized, we are outcasts, we are discriminated against and once our conditions are revealed we are ostracized by society. We now may live in a society where millions of our fellow sufferers are in the closet and they can’t come out. So they sit there sick, unhappy, unable to move forward and then the pain becomes so unbearable they take their lives or stay stuck in them miserable!
If they divulge a mental illness they could lose their job, their friends, and there family. And, AND, too many of these people have no one to turn to.
There are no first meds for people who are mentally unwell, no hey I just want to check to see if I’m having a bad day or maybe something is really off with my mind. No clinics for people who are angry, sad, and anxious.
We create conditions in this country that drive people mad then charge them 500 dollars an hour to hash it all out. Working class people can’t afford mental health care and it’s not part of American culture to even seek help when our minds are our at odds with our best spirit. There are people of all ages who still say, “I don’t believe in that stuff”
As a mental health sufferer I can attest ‘that stuff’, when I can afford, it keeps me alive. It helps me function in society.
I don’t want to sound ungrateful but our Mental Health Professionals are too quiet. They are losing the opportunity to have a Me Too moment of the own. When they stop allowing their professions to be marginalized in society then we will not be marginalized and if they need any inspiration just look at this poor family in Westchester who will never have a chance to be helped by them.
I love the Mental Health Community and I know they are trying to help, and it’s tough, but you have so many families behind you if ever need the support to perhaps just be more outspoken about the Mental Health Crisis in the USA.
Thanks.
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Tikirob
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I feel like that should be submitted and published somewhere.
You covered everything. Now, where do we go from here??
Years ago the hospital I worked at had a special unit called crisis intervention. It was for mental health patients. It phased out do to " no need". Seriously?? I assume it was just another budget cut.
Where I live we recently had a man kill himself and his whole family. Mental health issue, depression from being out of work for so long.
That’s so sad to hear, both stories. I bet cutting that program was a loss for both the patients who could end up hurting themselves and for the staff too.
My neighbor, who was hard working, quiet had three children killed him self and wounded his son in front of his wife, a very sweet lady. His first two sons were smart, obedient, went on to great schools, jobs, but his third son he had much later with his wife and was rebellious and not as studious.
The stress of that somehow got to him and one day in an argument he pulled out a shotgun and pointed it at his son. He pulled the trigger but at the last moment pulled away and did not kill him but decided to kill himself I guess in reaction to his own actions.
We both know of people in our areas who had situations like these. Now that’s crazy and I bet you there are plenty of these stories to go around.
Thanks for the publishing sentiment! - I would be so scared to be put under that attention but if it could get the doctors motivated to speak out a little more it would be worth it. You think I should send it somewhere anonymously???
I always now feel in both the UK and America Mental Health Matters are the poor relation when associated with other health concerns.
The main problem is the health services cannot pick up soon enough when a person is mentally ill. So the main problem is people become more and more ill and something bad happens
I agree with that. I also think some people don't realize what is going on with them. People around them don't " notice" changes. People refuse treatment.
Some people don't have the money or the insurance to seek help if they want it.
There are a lot of factors.
But what can't be denied is the fact that there is not enough money or attention given to the illness until something bad happens.
It great news that some celebrities are out there admitting to mental health issues. That brings awareness to the illness.
Dolphin that’s so true. With my specific disorder the time from onset to diagnoses can be as long as 12 years. In my case I believe it was 30 years or more. I remember being devastated by the fact it took that long to be diagnosed. All the time wasted, all the days thinking I was just not able to keep up with society because I was a lazy loser.
I see celebrities admitting to going to therapists or having disorders and that’s great. But being mentally ill in America is something wealthy people can afford to treat, for the working poor, it’s not as easy.
Nor am I and due to my anxiety disorder to think of it gives me worse symptoms but I am willing if it will get the message out to help others. I am not that Linear A person and although I can write okay and speak well getting constructive things done is really tough for me. If you would like to send this anonymously maybe that the way to go. I’ve been struggling with mental health coverage and issues for 4 years. I’ve made what seems like a thousand of phonecalls to advocate treatment for myself but I feel the system does not ease the struggle within the struggle. I had a friend read this and she said maybe I should include more stats. But in that time people like you and others are already sharing their painful personal stories. Maybe if enough people come forward we will have enough to show that the need for mental health advocacy is more dire than anyone is acknowledging.
I just want to add that the details about actually happened to my neighbor may not be 100 accurate I am recalling what I remember what another neighbor had told me but the occurrence and circumstances are 100 percent true.
My viewpoint on this is that in the USA it's a much wider issue than mental health. If you think of the stresses which can exacerbate mental health problems ie poverty, lack of employment, homelessness etc. These are all contributory factors towards pushing people over the edge. Without a more comprehensive system of welfare, such as in the UK, this will continue unabated.
Doesn't this come down to the idea of American freedom and the old pioneer spirit? Stand on your own 2 feet etc? To say nothing of your gun lobby...
I am not criticising your country as each to their own. I am grateful to be a Brit when I hear stories like these. x
In the UK the lack and the rationing of mental health care now is a real problem. Basic mental health care is taking to long too treat, While the rationing of Services is very marked even when a course of CBT May Help.
In my case my concerns were diagnosed, several appointments were given as explanations and then the final appointment with a known CPN was offered, t hat because of my memory was not recognised because of my My discharge was complete on the understanding I could always make further appointments when needed. The problem with that they get rid of you quick and it takes a long time to get them back.
Great point and thanks for sharing this. I think I’m the UK you may have the struggle within the struggle just as bad by that I mean this. There is getting the treatment (struggle) then there is all the case management self advocacy to follow up with paperwork, medications, denials, anxiety inducing tasks a person with a MI has to do (struggle within struggle). I am amazed the amount of responsibility is placed at times on the patient to connect all the dots. I hope it gets easier for you there and I hope you feel better.
I think chronic anger is the number one mental health problem in the USA. I asked many psychologists and psychiatrist if anger or chronic anger is a mental health issue and I have never been given a definitive answer by any of them. But I am not an expert so who am I to speculate. That’s why we need a serious reevaluation of mental health needs by an outstanding clinical panel that is then mediated by an outspoken group of Mental Health professionals to the public. The thing that hurts all good causes in the USA are self serving bureaucracies. They should be put on the spectrum by the board. Then they could speak freely without retribution fron such agencies.
First off..hello my friend😊
1000 percent right...
I personally think the govt just wants us all to go away or die.Its more to put in there political agendas..lets help those with mental illness,but we get pushed aside after an election because we have bigger fish to fry than helping fellow Americans heal from an illness we all never wanted to have in the first place.
I also think mental health professionals r out of touch on alot of subjects ESPECIALLY related to medical marijuana.
Thanks to pharmaceutical companies making dangerous drugs for us..killed alot of us or tried to...the opioid crisis has mental health been REALLY spoken about.
No different than illnesses not many know about,no cure..n silent to the world.But not to some of us😂
Excellent post..go public with this post my friend...be the cheerleader for us.
👏👏👏👏☺☺
I'll be first on board to help but I've been bedbound over week now,sorry
Hey!!!! Thanks for the support and great points!!! You are right about the lack of support by those in office or running for office. Mental illness effects us all and if we were all more happier and more productive wouldn’t this be a plus for the economy and quality of life in our country??? The people in office now have family members with mental illnesses how many of them are going out on a limb for it, I am sure some are and do speak out and legislate on our behalf but it’s never a hot bed issues in debates or a war cry from anyone in high power. I will do my best to be supportive thanks Hippolove!
Couldn't agree more. I was just told by my therapist that the mental health dept (go to Kaiser Permanente hospital) is going on a week long strike... the week before Christmas. The need for these services are huge... it get it they are under staffed... still sucks. Especially since holidays are hard for many of us. This disease is horrible & lonely. Many of us keep it to ourselves... afraid to be outclassed if people knew. Hopefully this can change.
Oh myyyyy! Perfect huh...so sorry to hear this. Unfortunate likely story more strikes for those treating patients. They get paid peanuts for what they do I am sure. My friend works in emergency psych. she is required to hold a masters degree and is subjected to physical harm on a yearly basis by violent mentally ill patients. Those who are not able to communicate and have the self control we have. I’m not trying to marginalize them here but working at a psychological ward can be very dangerous. Anyways my friend gets paid less than a sanitation worker and she has to spend money every year on hours of conferences to get her licenses recertified. They are trying to squeeze out the mental health staff by underpaying them. So strikes instead of raises happen. And what will you do now? Stay in touch with all of us please so we can help at least by listening.
I know all about neglect with mental health illness.My son wanted to kill himself,I phoned for mental health team to come to his home.Basically they assumed he was ok...7 hrs later he jumped from a high rise building and killed himself.That happened 15weeks ago.No apology or support but I’m not letting it rest until they admit liability
This horrific, I can’t even imagine the heartache you feel right now after losing your son.
It’s exactly what I was trying to address here. In our community of mentally ill and their families we need better resources and reliable services.
I don’t know how to ease the pain but please message me if you ever want to talk. Thanks for sharing your loss with us I hope it never happens to anyone else and I hope the psychological personnel involved takes advocates for you soon to prevent you from going through further heartache.
Thank you for your concern Tikirob,We all know mental health authorities are failing us. I’m waiting to receive the outcome of inquest this week. I’m sure it’s only going to be an apology and nothing more. They can’t even say it was lack of resources as the crisis team listened to my son crying for help and they did nothing when they visited him. He was only 34yrs.
I liked the Martin Luther king jr. comparison. That's one of our biggest problems is that we dont have those strong voices like that. When black people were fighting for their rights(and they still are ofcourse) they had strong voices who were ready to sacrifice themselves for the cause. The mentally ill need to get healthy before they can be strong and fight these type of issues. So we struggle to bring people in from the outside who understand and are ready to sacrifice for the cause and fight for us. Thanks tikirob for speaking up.
Well said and great comment thanks so much. I feel one thing every mental health patient or patient guardian can do to start sticking up for themselves is inquiring about the success rates where they are being treated. What is the success rate of treatment for my disorder here? It May be seen as abrasive but at the very least we should know about the quality of care we will get before committing thousands of dollars to it.
Slowly , Behavioral health services are starting to hear our cries. I think Hackensack Meridian Health has opened recently new locations Strictly for Behavioral Health Emergencies. I hope other Hospitals catch onto this also!
Here's the link for the urgent care center if your interested. 😊
Just want to mention that I am now looking to submit this to a publication. Hopefully it helps.
As a Therapist myself who's not working anymore due to being in disability I think that yes some have become complacent and some have not. I think that as with any profession, we have people who barely do their jobs well and others who are very committed and not complacent. In regards to anyone's treatment, we have to be major advocates for ourselves. I am thinking of leaving my Psychiatric Nurse who prescribes my medicine for anxiety and depression because quite honestly, I think she's become complacent. I do see a great Therapist and she helped me find another Psychiatric Nurse who I'm meeting today. If things go well I will be ending that relationship today.
Hi Gia7 hope everything works out with Nurse situation. I appreciate the feed back. Seeing others advocating for themselves gives me hope too! You are brave!
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by the board. Then they could speak freely without retribution fron such agencies. 
WHO DO YOU HANG WITH ?
Mental health therapists come in all shapes and sizes........
How many people feel they have been failed with the mental health team?
Working with stress and poor mental health - is it burn out?
