I haven't posted on here for a long time, i don't know why, I just don't feel like posting on here can help any more, i feel hopeless. All of the symptoms I didn't have have gone into place, I am now not motivated to do anything that I wanted to before (this may sound stupid but i first realized this when I didn't care about series 8 of Doctor Who) i have also had the opportunity to be in a play at the Shakespeare theatre and i didn't take it. I want to care about them but I just don't, I don't want to go out or see friends because I don't see any reason to. Also, I have started cutting and I can't stop. That's pretty much the only reason I came back here, I am scared of the power I have over myself but I don't know who to talk to, I have started contemplating suicide and seriously taken it into consideration but at the same time i don't want to do any of these things. My stomach and chest are covered in blood and cuts and i feel faint, i just don't know what to do and i don't really know what I'm asking, I have to stop typing now because my head feels heavy.