When 3 years ago, for some reason, my life kinda stopped.. i don't know why but something changed. I stopped trying in school, i broke up with m boyfriend and i just wanted to sit my friends down and tell them it was over, i didn't want to be around them anymore. I couldn't lose my friends though, i didn't have the strength to tell them & its a good job really because they were good to me, even though they had no idea what was going on inside my head. That lasted a few months, but since then I've had ongoing feelings that resemble those. I have phases, that last a few months at a time where i really can't function properly, my body feels drained and lifeless and I'm stuck. No one knows about how i feel, i don't want to be a burden but since starting university, its got worse. I'm alone, and have only a few friends. The thing is, in person, I'm this outgoing character who is happy and confident. But underneath that, i worry about everything and i can't stop. I don't know about social anxiety, but I'm pretty sure that must at least be part of it. What n one knows is, i come home from university after a day of being the smiley girl & i sit in the corner of my room and cry. The thing is, i don't know why it happens so i can't talk to anyone. I feel so empty, lost and alone right now and i just don't know how to cope anymore.
I might be in the wrong place, i don't know, but can someone at least give me some guidance on how i should deal with this? or maybe I'm just being a fool.
Maybe I'm just not happy? Maybe i wrote all this for nothing?
thank you.
Written by
happybutlying
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
I am sorry to hear that things are so difficult for you at the moment. It could be you are suffering from depression or anxiety or a mixture of both , maybe tied in with all the feelings that go along with being a young person of 18 and being in University education.
Have you thought about talking it over with someone such as a counsellor at the University to try and sort out where your feelings are coming from? Sometimes being able to discuss things with someone in this way can make things clearer for you.
Also it may be worth going to your GP at some point in the future as medication may be able to help you. However I would suggest first talking to a counsellor and looking up advice from the posts on here as there are people on here who have similar experiences to yourself. There is all sorts of "self help" stuff available on the internet nowadays as I'm sure you are aware also. Mind have a good website for example with information about different conditions.
if your university has a counselling service you should definitely try going to them for some help, support, or even just pointers. I was at uni for four years and used the counselling service for advice about a friend who had an eating disorder and they were very helpful; ironically I never connected the depressive feelings I was having with something that I should maybe talk to them about, and now I regret that.
I can relate to what you say about being the 'smiley girl' and then coming home to cry. It's exhausting, isn't it?
Anyway, I feel a bit of a fraud for just joining the site and then trying to give advice, but I wanted to help.
Hi everyone, on tuesday i took myself off to the student wellbeing centre here at university for a drop in session. I went to find out whether i needed to stop being silly or what, the lovely Heather was very calm and reassuring. She is putting me into some counselling sessions. Thank you for getting me to do this, for now though I'm keeping it t myself as i feel thats the best choice. Thanks.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.