I'm new to depression and didn't think I would have to post here but here I am..

Hi everyone, im keyleigh.

My story goes as follows..

I have always suffered with anxiety but the past few months it come down like a ton of bricks on me because of various life events. But now I'm experiencing depression and it's absolutely petrifying I've never felt like this in my whole life. I feel like I'm questioning everything. I can still go to work and do things but if I'm thinking about how low I am then I don't enjoy things. I feel in a real vicious cycle. I don't want to tell my mom or my dad because I'll just make them worry. I've been to the doctors about a month ago but that was about my anxiety and she prescribed me sertraline but I haven't taken it because I don't want to rely on tablets and if I take them and feel worse then I really don't know what I'm going to do because they're my last resort. I feel like I'm making myself worse because I'm consantly recognising my low mood and concentrating on it but I don't want to concentrate on it I just want to feel better!!! I'm only 19, I should be enjoying my life so much but im not at the minute. I wake up in the morning and dread the day ahead of me. As in writing this my stomach is churning I hate it so much please can someone just tell me this is just a phase and it gets better because I can't imagine being able to cope with feeling like this much longer it's absolutely dreadful I feel so scared

Thanks xx

[1darkangel]

I too suffer anxiety(GAD) and depression and I was scared to tell anyone but it got worse so I had to confide in my Doctor. If you find it difficult talking to your Doctor like I did you could take a copy of this and give them it and they would be able to help you in the best possible way. Just remember that 1 in 4 people suffer some kind of mental health in their life. I know you are scared to take medication I was too but I didn't read the side effects and if there was any they were mild and only lasted a few days which is so much better than suffering inside. It does get better with the right help it just takes time to heal the mind like it would take time to heal a broken leg it is exactly the same but you just can't see it. I found a lot of useful information about anxiety and depression on the MIND Website, you could read this yourself or if you want family members to understand your pain inside then this might help them understand. I hope I have helped in some way.

[Anxietyang]

Hi,

I take Sertraline. I too didn't take it the first two times I was prescribed but eventually I did and I'm glad I did too. It's nothing to be ashamed of and like darkangel says its more common than you realise.

It does get better, believe me.

Ang

[Jamie186]

Hi Keyleigh and welcome, I have suffered from depression usually after a period of stress and anxiety, but after seeing my GP and being referred to a clinic and trying various drug reg[mes, we found the ones that got me feeling back to normal so please don't feel as if the world is going to come crashing down, things will get better, I promise you, try not to get stressed out and it's easy to say but try and take things at your pace. If you find you start to feel blue, go back to your GP, and if your like me and a little forgetful write down some bullet points to remind you what to say, You will be fine, I hope I have been of some use to you, but you will always find, friendly useful help and advice from the kind people on this forum.

With my best wishes

Jamie

[Hidden]

Hello

First thing personally I would take your medications, they can take several weeks before they work, so do not feel that there is a slur if people know that you need to take them as one in seven people will take medications for Depression and other associated problems.

Generally people who take these medications may only need to take them for a short period of time and that will be it.

The sooner you take them, look upon them the sooner will get off them, the longer you take the longer you may have to take them.

You do not explain why you are feeling so depressed, although you mention something has happened to cause your problems. You mention been in a circle of depression that you cannot break, this is how Specialists try and explain the conditions that you are suffering from.

One way of looking at above is your are on this treadmill and you want to get off, the best way is to look for something positive in your life that you enjoy, or something in life you want to do, then concentrate the positive and try to forget or walk away from what is upsetting you.

One thing that may make you ill can be if you have negative thoughts any more than five the brain becomes cluttered and it becomes unable to sort out those problems. The best way is to concentrate on one problem, leave the others alone. You just need to find one little bite of that cherry and that problem becomes less, forget that for the moment and look and take a look at another problem and do the same, carry on through the problems and just take little bites until the problems become less daunting, it is important not to let the brain to wander, take small bites.

Sometimes you may find that you may need to talk to someone be selective as some people may throw it back in your face, you will always find someone here who will not judge. Try and put your worries into compartments and only open them one at a time, when you close one then only open the next.

We are always here for a chat

BOB

[Photogeek]

Hi Kayleigh you really are not helping yourself. Please take the tablets that were prescribed for you, otherwise you will stay like this. Try not to get caught up

With " relying on tablets". Diabetics take their insulin So take it from me , just

Decide that you are going to manage your depression. Take the Meds prescribed and

Make a few other changes. It's not rocket science.you are -a young lady and

Should be enjoying your life.

Hugs

Hannah x

[Jamie186 in reply to Photogeek]

Hi Hannah, where have you been,? missed you

Jamie

[Photogeek in reply to Jamie186]

Hi Jamie thanks for asking, I have been going through a down

Time, will probably do a limitless post tomorrow . How are you keeping? Talk soon.

Hannah

[gardengnome]

hi keyleigh, if you are not keen on meds have you taken a look at cognitive based self-help . The cci site has some great resourses.

cci.health.wa.gov.au/resour...

it's about changing the automatic thoughts in your head that keep on churning over in your brain.

Check out mindfulness as well, it is a more meditative type approach.

I know what you mean about getting into a viscous circle, I had a rubbish november because i was continually ruminating on stuff that was bugging me, till i got to the point of exhaustion, and am really scared of having another month like that.

For me changing my pill and a few weeks of fluoxetine at a decent dose did the trick, but without using some of the ideas from C.B.T. I don't think the meds would have done it on their own.

hope you find a style of self-help that suits, shame we are not taught this stuff at school, learning algebra has its' uses, but learning to handle life is more essential,

[gardengnome in reply to gardengnome]

cci.health.wa.gov.au/resour...

meant to post link to this page instead.

[Golfer15 in reply to gardengnome]

I agree about we need to be taught this 'stuff at school'. unfortunately the government hasnt put it on the curriculum! I am a teaching assistant and also suffer with depression so I can help the children I work with in various ways to prepare them to 'handle life'. We do Social and Moral education which covers self esteem and acceptance issues. We use something called 'Heart Math' which helps children lower stress levels. See heartmath.org/ This is a very good system and can be used with any age. I work with 7/8 yr olds.

We have a long way to go in educating about mental health issues. It will take at least one generation. Primary school age are starting being taught about well-being so I suppose it is when this generation are running the country!

We will keep trying.

David

[Suzie40]

I agree with Hannah. Taking tablets is not a weakness, it's a sign that you've recognised a need and addressed it. Let them see you through this difficult time and if it's not for you, look for non-medicine based alternatives x

[Golfer15]

Hi Keyleigh, You certainly arent alone in feeling this way. You have made a big step in writing this all down on here. You really need to talk to a doctor to get some medication. Im on 10mg of citalopram which is very mild but it helps my mood swings. It is an illness so we need medication. Dont let this worry you. Once you have this you can then control your moods and get some counselling. You may be put on a Cognitive Behavour Therapy course which helps us how we look at various situations. This feeling you describe does go away but it needs a great deal of self help. You have a long and challenging time ahead of you. Keep in touch, you will get lots of support and advice here. It has certainly helped me!

David

[Hidden]

Hi guys thanks for all the responses I'm due to start cbt in the next couple of weeks so hopefully that will work because I really don't know what's going on in my head at the minute I'm all over the place and it's not me it's really frightening! I really do appreciate all the responses. As for medication I'm scared that I take it and it won't work, as that's my last resort I really don't know how I'm going to work if that don't work. I just really need to know that other people have felt like me and that it has gotten better I really don't know how I've got this bad it's ridiculous I can't help but feel angry at myself because of the way I feel I've been strong all my life so why now am I being so weak? I don't understand it, I just want to feel better again. I'm currently around friends, but ive still had to resort to this website just feel so rubbish just wanna enjoy my life again or even wake up and feel excited about my day I wouldn't mind if I got a weeks break from this low feeling but it's everyday for the past month I'm scared really scared I just want to enjoy my life again xxx

[WorriedTheyllFindOut]

Hi. I'm 52 and I get worried, scared even so you're not alone. Also you should take the tablets. - very important. Try getting some exercise too. It's proven to improve things and a walk or jog is free have a lol at parkrun, a free organised 5K run. Find a friend and talk to them. Also look up local volunteer groups. Plenty out there to talk to. Good luck and don't be frightened :0)

[Holly101]

First of all, welcome Keyleigh, you're in the right place!

As you can see you're not alone, I hope that's made you feel a bit better for starters... And I agree with

the others, take your medication, why suffer and deny yourself that help if it could make you feel better?

There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking medication, and who's to say it's forever, it might just be you

need them for a while and then you might be able to do without again, but give it a chance at least..

I so recognise that feeling of dread and fear and impending doom when you wake up in the morning..

It's awful isn't it.. I do find it eases off a bit after a few hours, but it still stays with me all day, but it's defo at

it';s worst as soon as I open my eyes and wake up..

So you're not alone there either..

I can't give you much advice as I don't have any answers or solutions (or I'd be using em and be cured ;), but

what I can say is, keep posting on here how you feel and give the medication a try..

Things will get better again at some point, they say what goes up must come down, so it must work the other

way about as well!

In the meantime try and stay strong hun, sending you a big warm hug,

Holly xxx