First time for everything I guess...I'm new but here goes

[Ree36]

Hi, I'm not going into loads of detail but basically I have been suffocating with anxiety and depression for 4 yrs on and off. This year has seen it get worse, I'm not supported at work and am forcing myself to go in everyday (in fact I've just received a warning for my sickness levels), I don't feel supported by the Psychiatrist I saw today, I'm a burden to everyone who I come into contact with or at least that's how I feel, ugh I could go on but I won't bore you. My poor fiancé didn't sign up for this and neither did my family. Why can't I just get on with stuff and not constantly feel like I'm drowning and just managing to keep my head above water. It's got to be better than this hasn't it? I'm medicated to my eyeballs nobody tells me what it is that is happening to me, half the time I feel like I'm being passed from pillar to post, not a person just a name on some medical notes... Nobody really helps it's just a long , drawn out process of appointment after appointment and the odd referral to the crisis team. How I'm still here I just don't know...help!!! 😢😢

[Celtic27]

Hi ree please stop there you are not a burden to anyone ! Please also remember your employer as to the duty of care they have to show ! have you asked your employer for help ? I bet your fiance and family are more understanding than you think have you sat them down and had a heart to heart if not it might be worth while ! If your not happy with the help you are getting with your phyciatrist ask for a second opinion only ploblem you may have to wait to see some one else ! Can you please take one day at a time and i hope you get well soon david

[Hidden]

Hi Ree how awful for you. It sounds like everything has just got on top of you and I don't blame you. Now for your job - are you in the UK? And have you been at your job for at least 2 years? You have certain rights and I let you know what as soon as I hear back from you. x

[Ree36 in reply to Hidden]

Hi, Yup that's how it feels....I've worked in the UK all my life and for this employer the last 9 yrs x

[Ree36]

Just wanted to say thanks guys this is the most I've felt supported in a long time x

[Depresseddorset]

Hi Dee. I've been living with depression most of my life with my current episode lasting nearly 4 years.

The worse thing for me is that my illness was takingcontrol away from me. my employer wanted me to cut my hours and I was sent toocchealth. The doctor listened to me and understood why I must go to work, it gives me a focus, something that I have to do every week day. My boss wasn't happy but I had just taken control of a small part of my life. I take meds and I am revised by my psychiatrist regularly. My suicidal thoughts are getting fewer and I haven't self harmed for a few months. Recovery takes time, you cannot rush it. But remember that you are a human being with a chronic illness, you just can't see it. I am no longer ashamed to admit that i have depression, that was a liberating experience. Sit down with your fiance, he is the most important person in your life after you. Explain to him that you have depression and to explain what that means show him I have a black dog it's name is depression' on YouTube. It's just under 5 mins but explains exactly what your illness is. Did you know that Winston Churchill lived with depression all his life and look at what he achieved. Take care, take time and learn as much as you can about your illness. All t!e best