Pregnant after recurrent miscarriage and feeling scared/anxious

[Hollyhughes]

Hi everyone, it's been a while since I posted after my last miscarriage ( the third one) in January.

I found out today that I'm pregnant.

I've spent the last few months taking everyone advice from here - I've had private tests done and as well as APS I have high NK cells but have a treatment plan in place (started taking aspirin and the clexane injections I have left over from last time on Sat as had a feeling I was), I've been doing fertility acupuncture since Feb, I've been seeing Naava Carmen and have been on tailored herbal preparations from her since June and taking a whole load of supps since Feb (probiotic, omega 3, vit d, B12, high dose folic acid, ubiquinol, liquid iron and l-carnatine) to get my hormone and mineral levels to the right place and to improve the quality of my eggs (I also had my AMH tested and it was very low - although have not had a problem falling pregnant so doctor told me not to worry about this as i'm not doing ivf). I'm under Professor Regan at St Marys recurrent miscarriage clinic (luckily on the NHS) and will see them every two weeks to start and Dr Thum at the Lister clinic privately (to treat the high NK cells).

I got the go ahead from Naava to start ttc after all my tests were showing everything going in the right direction and it's happened quickly.

It's only been a few hours of trying to digest the news and I'm already driving myself crazy with what ifs and the anxiety of it all. I've lost all 3 babies at 8-9 weeks - the first two because of the APS (diagnosed after 2nd) and the third because of turner syndrome (looks like the aps treatment was working as the baby was measuring the right size - just unfortunately she had turners)

I know I've done everything I can and i'm being looked after by the best people in the field and for that I'm very grateful - but how do I get through/cope with the next few weeks - does anyone have any tips with how to do deal with it emotionally/psychologically? I have a feeling the run up to 8-9 weeks is going to be tough. I'm even worrying that its a problem that I fall pregnant quickly!

Any advice, positive stories etc would be most welcome.

Thank you x

[lupus-support1 Administrator]

Congratulations!

I can understand your feelings of anxiety and they are normal. It is impossible NOT to feel anxious. Although no one can tell you everything will be OK - & nothing less will do - I would encourage you to talk to someone about your feelings and by this I don't mean friends or family, but someone unconnected ie a therapist.

People may tell you to relax, try meditation, relaxation etc All this is good, but I also think you need someone with whom you can share your innermost feelings & who is neutral throughout this very stressful time.

If you would like to discuss this further, please PM me.

With good wishes,

Ros

[Hollyhughes in reply to lupus-support1]

Thank you Ros. I would very much like to discuss further with you - will PM you. X

[KellyInTexas Administrator]

Well, here is one positive, I can’t think of a con to falling pregnant quickly.

I could not agree with Ros more in this regard and would encourage you you to avail yourself of her not only kind heart, but super powered brain.

How great it is that she is educationally crafted for just this, but as a patient herself diagnosed with lupus and APS, can further understand and help with your new and emotional / physical journey!

And may I just say.... WOW HollyHughes!

Wow wow wow!!!!

I know you will keep us all up to date. Here with you in Texas!!!!

( by the way... super weird thought- something I saw... since today was first injection, keep it. Start keeping them. I saw a photo of baby’s birth announcement. One of the photos had every discarded shots formed all around the baby in the shape of a heart- you can imagine it, right? With baby in the middle? It was Amazing...)

[Hollyhughes in reply to KellyInTexas]

Thanks Kelly, thats a really good idea and a great way to focus on the positive and what could be. Ah, it's just my brain in over drive - I read somewhere that some women can have a mesh like endometrium which means it's easy for embryos to implant - even the ones that are not the best quality and would usually be rejected - anyway - it's been stuck in my head. I think I need to stop reading stuff/googling.

Thank you - I really appreciate the support and will keep you updated with how it goes x

[HollyHeski Administrator]

Nothing any of us can say, will help you. All we can do is listen and give you support.

Our own experiences do give us understanding and empathy.

Ros has given you such good advice, she is trained to help support, please take up her offer.

For me, I bonded with my first midwife (from my stillbirth) and was able to call on her when I was really worried and stressed, she became my rock, through the next two successful pregnancies.

I will say you sound like you have a good medical support team, let them know how worried you are.

I appreciate that you will feel reassured after each check up/medical appointment and then you sink until the next one. It's up and down, our hearts are with you.

Try and take the joy from the good moments and congratulations, you've already past the first hurdle, getting pregnant. I know you will let us be part of all this too xx.

[Hollyhughes in reply to HollyHeski]

Thanks so much Holly, it's the understanding and empathy that helps so much - i already feel better/calmer this morning. I'll get in touch with Ros and will talk through my worries with my medical team too - I've got an appt on Thursday so I don't have to wait long. Its good you had someone you could turn to that was neutral that you could share your worries and concerns with. Thank you for your kind words and support x

[MaryF Administrator]

HI, I am not surprised you feel anxious, many on here have been in a similar position to yourself and have felt similar. I agree it is a good idea to talk to somebody either Ros or another therapist, it will be beneficial to you on many levels. I am glad you are reaching out and asking for help at such a stressful time, best wishes to you and a giant hug. MaryF

[judes]

Others have given you great advice and would also say find someone who you can

talk about your worries and fears it really does help.

To give a personal example I found myself pregnant at 35 and even worse was 21 weeks before it dawned on me I was pregnant, there’s always one!

I went into complete meltdown, my husband at the time was useless, I spoke to one of my friends who supported me through everything, without her I don’t think I would have managed. I was adopted so bit difficult to talk to my mum.

So please do find someone.

Many many congratulations and big cyber hugs.

J