Just is.: I feel that if I would disappear... - Heal My PTSD

Heal My PTSD

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Just is.

Believe2Day profile image

I feel that if I would disappear (wasn’t here), no one would notice or even care (Okay, maybe a couple people would care). I don’t feel comfortable in society nor do I fit in. I am not sure how people can feel comfortable in their own skin because I never have.

14 Replies

I know the feeling. I never fit in either. Have found some groups with common interests though. New acquaintances at least. I sometimes take heart from my children's policy that everyone is just me, me ,me. They are not as aware of you as you think.

Believe2Day profile image
Believe2Day in reply to Roxylox

As far as my family goes, it is hard sitting on the outside and watching all my step siblings have all these fun relationships with my biological family (father’s side) because I wasn’t raised really knowing them. And now that I am older it’s too late, because I don’t fit it. Hard to explain.

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox in reply to Believe2Day

Can sort of understand your family situation, as l am 10 years younger than my nearest sibling, so the other 3 grew up together , so have more common memories.

Nathalie99 profile image
Nathalie99Partner

I am so sorry you are feeling you are not fitting in, Believe2Day.

Sometimes it is harder to find things that resonate deeply and it can feel distant or unattainable. I felt this way.

You are most certainly very valued here.

Sending my support and light 💐

Thank you.

Nathalie99 profile image
Nathalie99Partner

How are you feeling today, Believe2Day?

Trying to hang on. Wishing I fit into society. Sometimes I get tired of trying so hard because it always comes back to these feelings.

How have you been?

Nathalie99 profile image
Nathalie99Partner in reply to Believe2Day

Thank you so much...

To me most important is what really motivates me, what inspires me at my core. If I am different than others in a certain environment, I think being true to myself and keeping dreams alive is what gets me through although I struggle.

I understand that fitting in is important for safety. I see this with some types of animals (kangaroos, for example).

But finding something that resonates truly, something I can be good at and enjoy, finding people that inspire me is important.

I see beauty in uniqueness of each person. I think it has a great value, but that's my very personal perspective.

I look at the world differently than others and this brings me more joy.

I don't know how to phrase things better as I can't express what I mean.

It's been a bit challenging time with my foot recovering much slower and having to deal with extra triggers but there is a lot of good in my life as well.

Thank you for your kindness...

Nathalie99,

I guess being true to oneself (myself) is a struggle. So hard to be true to yourself when your entire life you have always been the caregiver (putting my needs last…not even recognizing my needs or even learning who or what I am).

I am sorry about your foot surgery and the healing process taking so long. Please know I am here if you need to express.

Sending you healing hugs.

You are worthy. You matter. You count. The rest of the world is dysfunctional.

Believe2Day profile image
Believe2Day in reply to

Thank you Phoenix.

Nathalie99 profile image
Nathalie99Partner

I want to say something important, something that matters, without making it about myself and I can't find the way to say it right now...Thinking of you.

God would care . I have been seeking god since I was 5 years old. I know he is there and loves us. I call him a he because thousands of people have met him and he has a masculine presence. People on the operating table, and in accidents etc. The people who raised you from a baby would miss you. Have you ever raised a child? I’m not able to put it in words. The love and sacrifice that is made in raising children. No parents are perfect, but they deserve credit for raising children. A few people in the future will miss you. People who maybe you make friends with. Or people who you will work with, and work towards making the world just a tiny bit better.

Thank you Daveacr.

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