Am I Okay?

[jayT67]

I felt okay for a little bit. I thought I was okay. But the thing that let me know that I wasn't was when I spent the night with the guy I was seeing and he touched me while I was sleeping. I was about to hit him like hit him because of how much my trauma affected me. The worst part was that for a second I felt okay like things were getting back to normal and I was fine. The trauma never leaves and when it first happened I thought I could learn from it and move on. It just doesn't go away. I've met multiple therapists already but I can't find a way to talk about it enough to move past it. But the other thing that bugs me is that that guy I was seeing was helping me learn to trust people again. He was showing me that the human population isn't as bad as my trauma had lead me to believe. But now he's gone and now I'm back in the same boat not because he left but because I feel alone again. I was alone when the trauma happened and now I'm feeling alone again.

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi jayT67,

It's very hard when you are on your own and with trauma. I was without support when trauma that triggered PTSD happened and I feel that if I wasn't alone I may have been okay. But I don't know.

It's very sad and the hardest part for me is when I have hope that I am getting better and then the symptoms hit me out of the blue.

I am fine and them triggers hit out of nowhere.

My thoughts are in my case I haven't processed all of it as I did forget some parts of it. When the memory comes back, I need to do more work.

I am trying to look at ways to center myself and get in touch with my inner self as a coping mechanism to believe that I can be okay again. I need to believe in that...

I hope you are going to be okay...sometimes hope is the only way...

[Agara33]

What if you dont try to get past the trauma right now? In this situation honour that this is what your body felt and must be with good reason, be on your side exactly as you feel...does it feel right to talk to him about what was going on?