I called my separated husband on the phone at one a.m. and woke him up. He's not well; recently diagnosed with cancer. I apologized for waking him, and said an emergency has come up. He usually handles this; I didn't know how to. I asked him for instructions. He yelled I'm coming over! "No" I said, "don't come! Please just tell me what to do." He hung up on me.
I called back. The phone just rang.
He let himself in. He has keys because I fall sometimes and I need help. He walked in screaming that I am selfish, stupid, every vicious thing he could come up with. I stood in his way, and he tried to shove me out of the way.
The names: the same ones I talked about earlier. Mental illness labels among them. I told him the words mean he is cruel, not that I am sick or evil.
I asked him to please leave now, and further, to please, before he goes, tell me what I asked on the phone -- how he manages the problem.
He made a fist and bumped the glass in my front door with it. He shrieked "I'll punch my fist right through here, right now, if you don't get out of my way and let me get to work." I didn't. He screamed more names at me.
He raged that I was perfectly capable of preventing this problem from occurring in the first place.
No. Not "perfectly capable". I could do it and injure myself badly. I had explained that to him many times. He either doesn't believe my pain is real or doesn't care. Then he raged that I don't care about his cancer. Kinda ironic, huh? Who's not freaking caring about who's pain? So I shouldn't have woken you and asked for instructions? Say so on the phone you monster!
Stupid me, I spent minutes trying to calm the situation down. It never mattered to him.
Then I lost it and screamed at him to get out right now, he has no business telling me whether or not I'm in too much pain to do anything -- I've been in constant pain, disabled, and traumatized for more than twenty years -- how dare you tell me what I'm feeling and what I can and can't do! I didn't ask you to come here, I woke you for help.
I'm in shock now I guess. The real horror and pain will come tonight when I don't sleep more than an hour or two. Worse tomorrow when i'm in terror all day, needing his help to care for myself, hating him and me. Needy, frightened, alone, and traumatized.
The trauma of dad's baby ruined my mental health, life and chances of getting a job
Community help :'(
After all this time I am still being bullied. I tell myself don't be a victim but the harder I stand my ground the harder they come. But 
