Hi all one of you know me some of you probably don't...I lost my mum to cancer 10 year ago and ever since this has happened every pain or niggle I get I automatically think I've got the big 'C' or ive got some terminal illness i know it seems stupid but it a huge deal to me...I've just found out I've got a large cyst on my ovary I've got the gyno in January I've had tests done my full blood count all is well except my white blood cells are raised my Dr has took a swab from me to send to the lab for when I go gyno they suspect I have a infection somewhere but because of this incident with the cyst my health anxiety has hit the biggest low I've ever felt im constantly shaking I constantly on the loo im so shot and wet through with sweat I keep burning up I keep googling my symptoms and all im getting is leukaemia blood cancer wby dp i do this to myself I've had this anxiety years and now sucks and I can't cope with aĺl this negativity every time I get somethingI automatically think it's terminal and I make myself so I'll
Love Nat xxx
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Natsteveo
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I know you have lost your mom and that is horrible experience. I have lost mine to cancer when I was a small child and I was scared I wouldn't live longer than her. I am trying to manage my fear and my gp helped me a lot by reassuring me and doing some tests.
I can understand how extremely stressful this is and I wish I knew how to reassure you as it is still quite a wait till January through the holidays.
I am sending you some strength. I am with you and hope you get some reassuring news soon...
Just wanted to add that the anxiety is so hard because the fear makes you focus on 1% of something happening rather than on 99% of likelihood of something not happening.
Unfortunately, in this community we have gone through or witnessed very rare events and that makes anxiety so much worse and that's why it is so hard to overcome it. Working on the emotions associated with traumatic event with a skilled therapist might help decrease the anxiety in the future...
Given about 40% of us are diagnosed with cancer at some time in our lifetimes, it's not an uncommon condition. Benign cysts are also quite common. Unfortunately, we do tend to focus on the acute and difficult to cure cancers, while ignoring the many curable or chronic cancers (in which people are more likely to die with their cancer than because of it). Further, cancers vary in how much they are familial - the degree to which blood relatives may have an increased risk of developing the same or a similar cancer. Perhaps reading up on what risk you may have of developing the same cancer as your mother or even having a genetics test (remembering that only half of your genes came from your mother), will help you through this very difficult time of waiting for follow-up. After all, anxiety is inappropriately focusing on low likelihood events and feeling that they are much more likely than is really the case.
Note that searching for symptoms on Google is likely to provide you with the most dire results - such as leukaemia, because these worst cases hold a morbid fascination for us - making the apparent incidence of such dire results far greater than it really is (Google generally works effectively for us because common helpful search results when we try to find something are boosted up the list, but that also means that it distorts the apparent risk if we take often read as often diagnosed with - they are quite different) . Raised white blood cell counts are nearly always due to an allergy, inflammation or infection (which we may not be aware that we have). Finally, if you are reading statistics on survivability on Google, then they are always going to be worse than is actually the case. It takes at least 10 years to find out how many patients survive 10 years with a particular cancer once a new and better treatment is available, meanwhile we get a misleading idea of how serious the cancer is (or used to be).
Neil (diagnosed with stage 4 leukaemia nearly 9 years ago and still untreated)
Wow I feel so selfish and silly now as mine is just a fear and thought I've not been diagnosed with anything like that I'm always thinking I have it but not ever been diagnosed..I'm under psychiatrist for this I've only been a few weeks so not had any success yet but will stick it out..I am so sorry I say what I fear yet you are living it I feel terrible although it's made me realise I need to sort myself out I can't carry on like this as their is people who are living through it so I think a big kick up my bottom is very needed...I have had this since my mum died 10 years ago and it's just got worse over the years she died of pancreatic cancer and died with in 7 weeks of being diagnosed so I associate everything with this illness...I'm sorry Neil I will get a grip on myself
You are not alone in fearing cancer. I'm also an administrator in another community specifically for those with the leukaemia type that I have. Reasonably often we have new members join that are experiencing far greater adverse impacts on their health from hearing that they have been diagnosed with cancer than from the impact of the cancer! Interestingly, sometimes people that have had difficulties finding out why they don't feel well are actually relieved to finally get a cancer diagnosis!
Quite a while back, there was a public interest campaign in Australia trying to get the message across that with medical advances, a cancer diagnosis need no longer be feared, using the catch-phrase "Cancer is a word, not a sentence."
Stick out your sessions with your psychiatrist - I hope that works for you.
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