I went through the most horrific episode/shock of my life over two years ago now. I've had ptsd (emdr) counselling which didn't work for me, but i kept myself busy, positive, smiley and no-one but no-one would have a clue about the tsunami of tears ever-ready to pour down my face. I really thought I was over the worst, reduced my anti-depressants to the point I was taking none, my GP said I was doing really well, the flashbacks weren't as strong and I thought to myself "well done Jan, you're really getting there".
Then two days ago I got really really tired - did too much travelling around for my age - and got home soaked to the skin and too late to eat because I was so exhausted. It was all I could do to brush my teeth and get into bed.
Then next day -- WHAM -- I couldn't stop crying, I don't mean a little bit on and off but all day long. Just crying crying crying. The flashbacks were constant. I kept reliving all the details. I was so distraught I had to email my GP and she's put me back on the anti-depressants I fought so long and so hard to come off. I feel I've failed myself. I'm actually back on the darned things again. I've done everything my counsellors advised me to do but my sorrow/fear/memories are as vivid as ever. Why the hell does ptsd have to come back like this when I've worked so bloody hard to keep it at bay., all the tears again, all the agony....
Hi Janet,
I don't know your situation exactly. I am very sorry that this happened again
I feel like those episodes might be connected to a hormonal cycle or menopause. Not sure if it's applicable to you.
Secondly, they come and go and it's been only 2-3 days? Is it really necessary for you to go back on antidepressant? Normally those episodes just wear off like a flu. You said you worked so hard to stop taking meds so my question is, could you just wait and see if it gets better, try more self care and rest?
I know it's absolutely terrible and feels not ending at times but maybe this time it will pass?
I'm off antidepressants for 3,5 years now. Those bad moments come and go.
Hang in there! Hope it gets better soon.