Beyond Frustrated doesn't make sense

trigger warning Supporter Here

My friend who I was seeing came out of an abusive relationship. We started talking and getting romantically involved and she went to a treatment center and got back earlier this month. She talked to me about hanging out and randomly stopped talking to me and responding. I added her on facebook and she accepted it.

Today is my birthday and I did everything in my power to let her know today is my birthday and no response yet. My birthday wishes were all about her getting better and fell like shes never coming back and no idea why I made those wishes for her to get better when all it makes me feel is sad and lonely.

Why would you say we will and you want to hang out and never respond? Or accept my facebook request but never respond to texts? Go out with friends but not respond to my texts. I hate being dragged through this mess and it is hell. I do care but she is making me feel like the worlds most worthless person.

5 Replies

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  • statsattack Well I want to wish you a happy birthday.

    It's very difficult when people seem to at first act like they are someone who cares. I am sorry that this person isn't whom you thought she was.

    I hope that you can let go of her and call your friends or celebrate yourself today. Not everyone is capable of love on a consistent basis.

    The only person you can change is yourself.

    I know how disappointing people are. I hope that you realize that you deserve someone in your life that is loving, consistent, cares for you, celebrates you everyday not just on your birthday, wants you, wants the best for you. I hope that you find healthy love.

    Take care and wishing you kindness, comfort and peace.

  • I mean no disrespect with this response, but this person is not making you feel anything - we are responsible for our own feelings, expectations and resentments.

    You don't say how long she has been out of the abusive relationship before you started getting romantically involved, but it may have been too soon for her. She also just came out of treatment and so she has learned what is healthy and what is not and may be struggling with what she thinks she wants and needs and what she learned in treatment.

    I am sorry that you made your birthday all about her when in fact it was your birthday.

    She is a separate person from you and free to make any choice she wants. You have a choice on how to respond here.

  • Wishing you a happy birthday statsattack.

    Maybe this is all too soon for her if she's come out of an abusive relationship. She possibly doesn't know what she wants and maybe can't even cope right now with someone being nice to her.

    PTSD is complex. There are no quick answers and no one can wave a magic want, it sounds like you want some stability in your life. I wonder if you can find someone else who can give you that.

  • Happy Birthday. Today is mine- oh no- even older!

  • It's okay..maybe she's going through something herself. ..

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