Reaching out to PTSD friend? What you think

Every two weeks I write my friend with PTSD texts that are supposed to give her confidence and let her know I am here for her. My theme this week is friendship. If these texts aren't good let me know and will change it. Sending 2 texts and winnie the pooh quote. What should I go with 2a or 2b or both. Let me know what you think want to make this perfect as I can.

1. I am filled with so much joy and happiness right now, because I have the best friend in the world. My best friend is smart, beautiful, courageous, empathetic, special, gorgeous,caring, loving, has an amazing smile, athletic, independent, strong, funny, amazing dancer and happens to give the worlds best hugs.If you are curious who this amazing person is this person is you.

2a. There hasn't been a day that I went without being your biggest fan.I realized what made our friendship special to us that creates such a strong bond. We know how to make each other feel beautiful, special and loved.

2b. I know you have alot on your plate right now. If you ever need someone to talk to, someone to vent to or a shoulder to cry on I am always here for you with open arms, open ears, open arms and most importantly a open heart.

3. A friend is a nice thing to have but a even better thing to be.

Last edited by

9 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Hi Statsattack,

    I don't know your friend or how she would react. All I can do is tell you what impression it creates for me.

    It all comes across as trying waaaaayyyyyyyy too hard. It's also far too convoluted, requires too much thinking. The mental image I see is the scene from Aliens 2 where the little girl - a sole survivor - is traumatised and hiding from the aliens. Ripley and co get her to talk and she says "They mostly come at night, mostly". Now put into that scene Mickey Mouse and in his voice say "You're amazing, let's sing a song".

    What is the one thing you want your friend to know? What is it you can offer her to get through another rough day after another rough night?

    "Thinking of you, hope you're doing OK." - acknowledge where she is and your caring.

    "if you'd like to meet for coffee or new nails let me know" - offer something without pressure. Offer something that's a fun distraction with the opportunity for friendship not therapy.

    Talking about stuff that caused PTSD is not fun and not always appropriate.

    Best wishes

    Chilli

  • I told her before knew anything when her grandma died to remember that her grandma will always be proud of her n she is beautiful , special and loved by many. SHe liked that.

    Her favorite thing I say is what sent her two weeks ago is as long as we are on the same team, no one comes between us, and have eachothers back everything will be alright.

    Only thing I care about is she looks in the mirror and can say I am worth fighting for. Just want her to see the same beautiful person in the mirror that I see every time I see her, think about her or hear her name. Im a 80's n 90s' r n b guy so like luther says never too much

  • I loved everything you wrote. I think it is so encouraging. You are a wonderful friend. I would include all of it.

  • So not sending 2b

  • I really like 2b... it sounds heart-felt, comfortable (I'm here for you) and very caring. If it were me, that's the one I'd send! It's so important to us to know that someone cares enough to be there when we are at our worst... you sound like you are that kind of friend for her. I'm glad you're there for her! :)

  • Thanks sending 1 2b and 3. 3 is a picture quote

  • Get nervous writing and sending these. Until I read on heal my PTSD 10 ways to understand I wasn't being a good friend because of influences on her and me. I want it to be perfect because she needs to know she's worth the best

  • She is worth it...but you are already doing your best, judging by your effort and care I see on here. In my opinion the best way to support someone is not by trying to be perfect but by genuinely expressing your care. Trust your intuition, be spontaneous, be sensitive to how much showing of your support is appropriate. She most likely doesn't want to feel like a burden to you so be mindful of that.

    It is okay to express that you want to support her the best way possible, but sometimes don't know how to, that you care but give her space too when she needs it. Let her know that you are educating yourself on the subject to better understand her. Make it light. It's already heavy as it is. If she wants to talk, let her.

    Do not try to be an expert, be a friend...not perfect but genuinely caring.

  • True. I have made sure I give her physical space from may 6- july 15th. But want to give her that physical space while letting her know I am always here for her. Not easy and with her being raped I can only imagine how she feels about herself.

You may also like...