I have a history of childhood physical, emotional and sexual abuse. I tried to tell someone once, but my"family" stepped in and seemed too nice to anyone so nothing happened. By the time I got up the courage to talk, the bruises where gone. My first psychologist wasn't reliable. Why would I trust someone when no one would believe me before? Long line of therapy followed, but I don't know how to believe what they say. They say I am a good person, but, blah, blah, blah.
I worked as a paramedic/firefighter for 28 years, and that came with it's own abuse from supervisors. I was good at my job, despite the abuse. I liked working with patients.
Was married, he raped me.
I was forced to retire due to an on the job injury. I wasn't ready to retire. I hate the people from my job. My body is broken and I live with chronic pain. I hate most people. I am angry about everything. History of PTSD, depression, substance abuse. I don't trust anybody, never have. People aren't to be trusted, too dangerous. antidepressant meds aren't working. Trying to change them. I feel numb inside except for the rage.