I hate this. Triggered again. I feel so bad. So angry. What good is this. A good waste of life. 15 years. Or more. Too ill to write. It will calm down again, but takes days. I want to quit. It feels so bad. What a waste of life. I don't feel like wasting my life with this stupid thing PTSD.
Takes so much time to come back from a trigger. If it is a very bad one. And it is the worst hell, feels like one just wants any way out. Smaller ones, less time. I have had it. Don't feel like dealing with it anymore. Go through the day in agony and then tomorrow probably some better, then the next day, probably have forgotten, back to normal. I am angry. No one throws me around without regard for my needs and feelings. I am not in my right mind and all I can do is write what is there. I feel ill. Have to stay away from triggers and let myself come back.
Can barely deal. Two days with no triggers and I will probably be back to 'normal'.